MK forum

I haven't been on this site in a long time.
Do I intend to be very vocal about NTM, yes. Do I say what I feel needs to be said, yes I do. With that said, I have gone back and forth over the past few months wondering if my approach was the wrong way to deal with NTM. After many hateful emails, etc., and a few other sorted things, I gave into feeling like shit again about myself, speaking my thoughts, and how I felt. Yes it worked, NTM, you sent me back into a dark hole that I had thought I had overcome. Not only did I feel abused by NTM but by the people I thought I was speaking up for!

I am not religious, not in your sense, never have been, but I am spiritual, and that is my token. If you don't like that, well that isn't my problem. I am not here to make nice and play happy memories of god’s work. I don't believe in it and it has nothing to do with rebelling. It has to do with who I am. So for all the trauma and abuse I have seen in NTM to be pushed aside as just an angry anti-Christian from the people I thought would understand abuse in NTM, really pissed me off and hurt. Yeah I am man enough to say it hurt, hell even cried over it.

Out of all I have accomplished in my life how could I be brought to my knees so fast?? How could this forum and emails have such an affect that I had to go back on my medications so I could leave my house, so I could stop the nightmares of NTM employee's trying to kill me? Now to clarify before it all gets taken out of context, no they didn't try to kill me in real life. This was an example of the mental affects NTM has had on me, for example the nightmares. They killed my soul, my joy for life, my sense of worth. That’s what the dream symbolized. The answer was easy, even though I have seen people and spent enough money to support a mission family on professional help and medication; it will never take away that feeling of thinking I am worthless to another human being or that my friends are power in your pocket.

So here I am today to say sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, I am not religious, and you can think of me as an atheist that believes there is a creator. I was harmed in NTM, not because God was mad at me, not because I was bad, but because I wasn't liked for me. What happened to me is all very real. I don't blame my parents, never will. They got suckered into it with no idea what was about to happen and never knew how to get out.
Am I pissed at NTM, yes I am very pissed at them. They had no right to dictate what I believed in, no right to scare me or my family, no right to watch us starve, no right to hold us under their thumb.
So I want to know how many of you have had enough. They haven't stopped, they are still trying to cover up and move on. They won’t even do what Jesus would have done and admit wrong. They are more like the Devil here, trying to blame others even the abused, taking no personal responsibly, saying they aren't responsible for their employee's. Last I checked anyone who has ever lived on the field or been in NTM, knows they have a hand in everything you do. Yes here in the states in a court where the people don't understand that, it might pass, so now they are going to legally lie their way out of it. they are playing every trick in the book I can see the devil playing. I have seen enough, I have hurt long enough, how about you?

I feel so bad for you. I do believe NTM was ALL WRONG and they are not righting that wrong and they are going to be held accountable. I realize that isn't much comfort for now and if I alone could do something to right all this I sure would but of course I can't. We all know God didn't condone all this sin in the camp but we know NTM did. For all my might I just don't understand how they allowed these adults that had authority over these children to sin against them and then just act like it never happened. It is beyond understanding. As far as I am concerned every person in leadership that knew this sin was or has happened and is not outraged and doing everything and I mean everything in their power to right this by bringing any living person to justice then they are just as guilty as the person who actually committed the sin.
The churches are just as guilty for being loyal to a mission that has allowed this. These adults who have sinned so horribly against these children should not go down as heroes of the faith. Full stop.

Thank you Pamela

Yunker, we are glad you feel safe here and can express whatever you want to say.
We met your parents once and had no idea what they were going thru---happy faces were the defense we used. Or maybe it hadn't happened yet?
The predators at our school were hidden to us until there were "incidents."
The FC said they handled these.
They sent the predators back home.
One associate who knew about reporting abuse etc. offered his help.
It was refused and he was on their "black list" from that point on.
That was hidden from us until recently.
The many years of former abuse at the school were also hidden from us.
No one talked.
There are still MKs from this field who cannot or will not talk about their abuse.
We, as parents, don't even know the extent of it, but some of us see the signs in our children.
This darkness has now come to the light.
We want to stomp on it!
Yes, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!