MK forum

I also am an MK who did not become a missionary. After high school I went to NTBI because it was the safe thing to do. The pleasing thing to do. I had no sense of direction and was terrified when I returned to the States. I was emotionally unprepared. God had his work cut out just protecting me from my own naive stupidity. After graduating from NTBI, I roamed. Went from job to job, place to place, just trying to find where I belonged. It is a difficult road to reality after NTM.

This is not to say I was unhappy, just blinded and dulled. I am resentful because of all those wasted years not being able to feel completely and only living a part-time life. I did not know how to live a "normal" life. I still feel a bit dysfunctional, however, I prefer to call it eccentric and I embrace it.

Journey, your story makes me sad. What a huge hurt for you to be working through.

I think a whole new blog could be set up about spiritual abuse in the church in general. It is definitely not restricted to NTM!

Sitting Duck, I'm pondering those hills you're guarding.... I've spent the last 40 years being envious of MKs who married other MKs. And thinking if only I'd married another MK, maybe my spouse would actually "get" me. Dysfunctional, eccentric me!

Maybe being an MK just means we'll go through the rest of life restless and yearning ... no matter where we work or who we marry ...

Raz, just to clarify (sorry, I forget sometimes about the block in communication called cyberspace...), I am not married to an MK. My spouse has no connection to NTM at any level. I was her first introduction to NTM. I am so incredibly grateful for this. While yes, there are many times that she doesn't quite have the experiential understanding when I talk about my past, I find that she provides me with incredible balance. I am the kind of person who could easily get lost in my own depths of psychosis. My spouse keeps me anchored and sane (somewhat...). At the same time, however, I have no pressure to live up to a certain standard. Those who know me (and knew the person I was back in the day) will know just how significant it is for me to call that freedom "priceless".

Threewillows, I dropped out after the NTBI thing, too, although at first, I was just intending to take a year "off". NTBI: what a head trip!

Oh, and I forgot to also clarify for those who don't wish to sift through my myriad of cryptic posts... I am an MK from Via who bailed after this "year off". Once away from NTM, I just began to finally understand way too much to bring myself to continue in it.

Also...

With regards to the "die on that hill" comments... I've been known to be mildly sarcastic from time to time...

Yes, blinded, dulled, restless, yearning . . .all of the above, not necessarily all right now. So I too have spent a long time thinking I made a mistake when I didn't marry an MK. Especially when he kills zombies by the hour on his Playstation while listening to Howard Stern. Sigh. But I'm soo grateful now for his unconditional love for me, and no spiritual expectations. It's allowed me to be in this place right now, where it's ok to wonder, seek and absorb.

We're going to be OK.

well, I went against all odds... I went through NTBI, bootcamp and language school, went to the field, came back, got married to an MK, went through bootcamp and language school and went to the field.

Widowed in 1992 and stayed single for 13 years and married another MK.. LOL yup, that is right. Maybe I'm not sane!!!

I am an MK who did not go to bible school or a christian college. It was interesting my senior year in PNG, I got alot of negative comments from my peers and adults because I was NOT going to bible school. Best decision I ever made, I was able to get away from the NT culture, start to heal from the physical abuse I experienced while at Numonohi and actually become my own individual person with opinions that were my own, not spoon fed to me by NT.

JJ