MK forum

Thanks ViaWings, I'll pass that on to him.

Thanks Kathy, for writing this:

Our experience, plus what I have read here, has caused me to rethink Christianity in general. I think that reading a book about the MK experience would help others to rethink Christianity also - which is something that I believe is sorely needed for everyone, on an ongoing basis!

It's incredibly validating to hear you say it--why? Because in the American general culture we are a mild curiosity. In the eyes of the churches we are either rebellious and ungrateful, or are up on some sort of sick pedestal. To family members, we are reminders of the people who abandoned them. So I've never thought that I or my fellow MKs would have anything to offer other than a maybe greater then average multi-cultural edge. We were told in the mission schools that we would do great, we would be so much more mature then others, and most of all we would have our priorities right. So when things werent easy--hanging out on the college campus during holidays, having no money or back-up plans, being sick with no one to take you to the doctor or even get you a doctor, feeling shame with every purchase at the hedonistic mall, we felt that the other MKs must be better then this, it's just me that's an idiot at life. Often other MKs wouldn't look me in the eyes--when they tried to match us up romantically we were horrified--it was a painful identity that I couldn't shrug off.

Yes, I do think we need to rethink some of the basic tenants! If we treat children so disrespectfully, how can it all be right???

I know that both my husband's MK experiences and the train wreck that is the QF/Patriarchal Christian home school community have BOTH caused me to rethink Christianity, and it's a very positive thing! I think the current Christian home school business model can make a home school a bad spiritual experience as well. It has the same continual demand for spiritual maturity and moral perfection on children that you MKs got in boarding school.

I was just apologizing to my daughter for attempting to take the place of the Holy Spirit in her young life, and for being pretty much constantly disappointed with her during her adolescence. Instead of accepting my daughter for who she was, and letting God lead her character over time, I had all those evening devotions and Charity Churchmouse videos, etc. constantly calling for moral perfection in children. I was quite frustrated with her where she didn't measure up.

Eventually, when we almost lost her to an abusive boyfriend, I said "Screw all this religious crap, I am just going to love on my daughter right where she is!" The day I took her to the doctor for birth control pills was the day our relationship began to mend. My actions told her that finally, who she was and what she was going through were more important to me than my religion.

That was three years ago. She calls or texts me everyday now, and drops by the house to hang out at least once a week, sometimes twice. She goes to church with me about once a month, out of love for me and because she loves worship and communion. I think she heard enough sermons by the time she was ten to equal probably fifty years of Sundays, so she's still ahead of the game there.

This parenting stuff is hard--i paid for my daughter to get this huge beautiful tattoo of a Phoenix on her 16th birthday (right bicep), what she really wanted. I needed her to feel tough, unique, and loved. I made her promise to never blame me for it

Sounds like you did and are foxing the right things Shadowspring. I'm proud to have you as a friend.

Why thank you, Allbetter. You know as the wife of an MK, that is something I have to keep under wraps from the relatives.

Home schooling can be a great way to grow up, if you leave legalistic Christianity out of it. I felt like I was very liberal compared to many of my peers, but if I had to do it over again I would have even less rote religious instruction and more fun! Bedtime stories beat devotions any day.

Interestingly, the three brothers who were sent to boarding school all chose to home school their children: our family up until secular college, one family up until private Christian school/private (fully accredited) Christian college, and one let them go to public school until high school, when his kids came home and later earned unaccredited Christian college degrees that have kept his adult children dependent on the family ministry/denomination. ( I consider the last family a patriarchal family cult; not cioncidentally the patriarch of that family was sent to boarding school WHEN HE WAS ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD! )

[quote="Allbetter"]This parenting stuff is hard--i paid for my daughter to get this huge beautiful tattoo of a Phoenix on her 16th birthday (right bicep), what she really wanted. I needed her to feel tough, unique, and loved. I made her promise to never blame me for it

Thats awesome! After going to therapy for a couple of years I decided I wanted to get a tattoo, something that would remind me of how far I had come and give me hope for the future. I was talking to my Dad about it and he suggested I get a butterfly. We researched online until we found one I liked, he then took me to get my first tattoo. I now have three butterflies all in different stages of flight, each one reminds me of a stage of healing. They are not huge, and they are on my back so most people do not even know I have them and some day I will not feel the need to get anymore, until then I will continue to get inked.

JJ

JJ, what a great idea. I just ended 5.5 years as a hospice nurse, and am processing what it's meant to me . . .it was almost as much time as I lived in Brazil. So much sadness, pain, complex emotions. It's hard not having and "end" to something in your life. With high school, college, you get a diploma. When I left Brazil it was with the intent to go back, so never really said good-bye. Maybe I need a symbol of the MK life . . .and maybe one to represent the souls that I watched pass on . . .do you think NT would fund a tattoo?

This is all very hard to read. hits so close to home and yet we bleed over and over and they still go on day in and day out with what seems to be little concern for the broken road left behind them. Not a lot we can say to make people understand the pain the fear the ruined lives that they have caused. This is real, this isn't a bunch of kids sitting around being upset because we got dealt a bad hand.

Had my dad and mom been into drugs, drinking, sex with others and on and on, yes I can see how this would be an acceptable problem from our past or should I say a real reason to have the problems we have, but no, these are missionary's of god!!! That's where the problem is.

There are a few that have done just fine, but you will find they are the ones who were higher on the "leadership" list. So, how can one child of God have more rights than another child of God? Does that sound right?? No it wasn't, isn't and never will be, It comes down to a hierarchy, some people were worth more than others and this had nothing to do with God but a system, a city of their own governance with no outside accountability, a cult. Yes a cult with the right biblical teaching but nonetheless a cult in all other sense when it came to control.

From boot camp, where they took young Christians wanting to serve the lord and broke them down to how they wanted them to be to the way the mission was set up.

The mission had no real concern for the family's well being, the future of us as kids, our parents were held captive for the most part, with no real life skills they are stuck. what are they going to do leave and come back to the states and go on welfare?
They had them by the balls so to say, stuck in the middle of wanting to do what God wanted, what the mission wanted and at the same time have their kids used as tools against them. This is a very good system.

Now the big question to all you MK's, who do you feel your parents worked for?