MK forum

guys, thanks - and it´s been good to talk a bit with my parents too, slowly, in small bits - took me 4 days to find the right time to tell them of the lawsuit - I was afraid it would hurt them too much and also that they would react "wrongly". It didn´t and they didn´t. I have a feeling mom´s going to be dealing with some things as she reads the documents I gave her (grace report, stuff from the blog, etc.) - she´s an MK too - so one more point for the positive things this forum has helped to make happen.

Sunshine, I remember your mother as being very, very gracious. I don't know how she put up me and friends for three weeks straight! But maybe she knew that was that last time I would see your sister. You were a cute kid! I still tell people about the sweetest grapefruits that I ever tasted . . .the beautiful singing of that one tribe, and the incredible feeling of descending into the valley of the other tribe in some type of jeep thing. And your sister being proposed to at 13. Everywhere we went people stopped and stared at the three of us. I'm needing to do a lot of sharing of good memories with my mom these days. She too is taking a lot of time to process this stuff, although she's not reading the forums, we are talking a lot. You know, Mom could really use a friend here in the States. Hmm. . .

Hey, traevbru, I didn´t realize I knew you - unfortunately my parents aren´t in the US, but PM me an e-mail address and my mom does have e-mail and would like to e-mail back and forth about this. Also, I have to confess that I´m not sure who you are, so you might want to pm me that too Thanks for calling me a cute kid, I was sure a brat - I remember me!

Sunshine do you mean that it is ok for me to be as screwed up as I am right now?

Isn´t screwed up a relative concept? But jokes aside, I´m not sure what you´re asking? And go ahead and say what you need to say, I´ve got really thick skin.

I´m sorry, looking back, that might have seemed like a very flippant reply and I realize that I sometimes tend to use humor to hide. If that was hurtful, I really, really didn´t mean it to be. I truly don´t quite understand what you´re asking, but here´s an attempt to talk about being screwed up.

First of all, we´re all kind of screwed up, so in terms of if it´s ok for you to be screwed up - I certainly would hate for you to be out in the cold - so yes, it´s ok for you to be screwed up - join the crowd. Neither would I want you to feel ashamed of being screwed up, there´s certainly no reason for that.

Second of all, I don´t know how screwed up you are, and I guess it doesn´t matter, because I think it´s tough to stay the same amount of screwed up rather than moving on to maybe a less screwed up level - or a more complicated screwed up level. I don´t think I´m on the same level of screwed up I was 10 yrs ago and I´m so glad to see that is behind me (although this present stage of being screwed up has been no picnic either).

Third, it´s certainly not ok whatever made you as screwed up as you think you are, from the fall to whatever happened this morning - that´s what bringing all these things to the light is all about.

does that clarify anything or have I taken seriously a question that wasn´t meant to be serious? I´m just a mixed up tck, what do I know

I have thick skin sometimes. It was half and half. I`m learning that by the grace of God I am what I am and by the grace of God, tomorrow I will not be what I am today. Sometimes this is really hard work, but God`s grace is still suficient even when I screw up.

Sometimes thick, sometimes thin, huh? I know how that feels anyway, either way, I´m so glad to hear that from you. Your words reminded me of two things-

one - has anyone seen Nacho Libre - a completely hilarious, stupid, rather perfect movie (however, I do not reccomend it - I NEVER reccomend movies - did that once, never do it again) that sets my very non giggly style 110 kg (or so he SAYS) brother-in-law into giggly spasms - I think it has a song called religious man - I just remember it says something about "I am that I am" - just goofy

two - A song that is much more worth spending your time listening to - a good reminder - JJ. Heller´s True Things -

I am … who I am
I am who I am

There are true things inside of me
I have been afraid to see
I believe, help my unbelief
Would you say again what you said to me
I am loved and I am free
I believe, help my unbelief

I’m not my scars and my history

To your love I’m waking up
In your love I’m waking up


internet has gotten snail´s breathtakingly slow around here, so I think I´m going to be signing off for now - it´s been so good to be here today

I'm enjoying this thread. Thanks, Traevbru, Sunshine, Jerry for the discussion. I'm too tired to comment much beyond that, but I am feeling encouraged. Thanks!

And yes, someone mentioned Sunshine's name reflecting her character. I've thought of a (silly) song pretty often in regards to her:
Jamaican beat

You are my Sunshine (yeah!)
My only Sunshine (right!)

You make me Happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, DEAR, how much I love you!

Please don't take my Sunshine away!"

Honestly, I've never met a girl with a name that was more perfectly suited to her!

awww, shucks!