MK forum

I am going to recommend a book that I have never read, just because it was written by a friend and former NTM Bible School student, and quite frankly, is taking off like crazy and creating alot of buzz out there. It is called "Your Secret Name". I'm sure some of you have heard of it.

The cental idea is that we all carry with us labels (or names) that others have given us or we have given ourself (abused, loser, fat, etc.) Revelation mentions a secret name that God will give, written on a white stone, that only the person receiving the name will know. Whether the book takes this verse out of context our not is really beside the point. The point is that it is very hard to move on with life carrying around the burden of these labels and that God has a new/different name for us.

Quite frankly, it is amazing how many times in the Bible God actually does give somebody a new name or says something to the effect of "from now on, I will call you .....". There are ALOT of instances of this in the Bible. So, maybe the author is on to something.

Read the reviews on Amazon.com. Go to the author's website and take a look at the video. This is a new angle on things and something totally different than most counseling books out there.

http://www.yoursecretname.com/video/

I keep meaning to post the title of a book I have just read called Stolen Tomorrows: Understanding and Treating Women's Childhood Sexual Abuse by Steven Levenkron. It is excellent. It is not from a Christian viewpoint and does have some strong language and explicit case stories in it, but it was very helpful to me.

"The Wounded Heart" by Dan Allender is AMAZING. It a Christ centered walk thru childhood sexual abuse, it's effects on us as adults, and God's promise for redemption and grace. It's HARD to work through (there is a book and a workbook) but well worth it. I also had the opportunity (thanks to NTM who covered all the expenses) to attend Dan's three day conference on this book. I would recommend it to anyone. But with a warning that it is very intense.

There is a website I have recently discovered that has been an awesome resource of Biblical answers to some really tough questions that psychology has not been able to provide satisfactory answers to, or that psychology has provided answers to, but I've terrified that they contradict what Christianity and God would say on the subject. The address is net-burst.net

Rroym, thank you for starting this thread. It is potentially very helpful in terms of recovery, and I salute you and others who have posted here. There are always going to be differences of opinion about some authors, points of view, approaches, philosophies and . . . and, I don't know what all else. Favorite football teams?

In any case, there is a lot of information out there and it will expand everyone's horizons to just have an idea of what has helped others.

A book I have read recently that has helped me make sense of a lot of what I went through during my time in NTM is When Killing is a Crime by Tony Waters.

Dr. Waters is professor of sociology at California State University, Chico. He brings years of teaching and vast experience in actual field work to bear on what is really an introduction to criminology. He draws on examples from the Bible, Africa, American history. . . It is a very readable book, but by no means shallow.

Professor Waters reminds us that "homicide is a subset of interpersonal conflict," something we already knew if we ever read I John. By keeping this relationship between murder and other forms of conflict, it is easy to see the application to other areas of our lives. Killing is, as it were, a hook on which he is able to hang an awful lot of pertinent information.

He deals with concepts such as "statelessness" as they apply to the home (boarding school) and cults (NTM, whether you see it as a cult or not).

Also, he talks about the "need" for an "out group" and how various acceptable behaviors can become "criminalized" and then later accepted. Think "Salem Witch Trials." The application to NTM at large is no leap of logic.

Here is a quote, where Professor Waters quotes someone quoting someone else:

Imagine a society of saints, a perfect cloister of exemplary individuals. Crimes, properly so called will there be unknown; but faults which appear venal to the layman will create there the same scandal. . . . If, then, this society has the power to judge and punish, it will define these acts as criminal and treat them as such. . . .

Crime is then, necessary; it is bound up with the fundamental conditions of all social life, and by that very fact is useful, because these conditions of which it is a part are themselves indispensable in the normal evolution of morality and law. (page 16)

I won't write more lest his book suffer from poor representation. I recommend it without reservation and honestly believe it will be valuable in helping get a handle on the NTM experience, whether from the standpoint of MK, adult missionary or both.

This book has enlightened and blessed my wife and me. Powerful, comprehensive, biblical, research based.
"Mending the Soul" by Steve Tracey
www.mendingthesoul.org


I'm sure many here have read "Too Small to Ignore" by Wes Stafford. I laughed and cried my way through it and was rebuked and challenged by Stafford's love and appreciation for children. Children are not the future of the church, they ARE the church.
www.toosmalltoignore.com

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen
Subtitle: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

When my husband and I were going through our problems with NTM we knew something was really wrong. But it wasn't until reading this book that we understood what had happened to us - we had been spiritually abused. It has been so helpful to have our experience put into words for us. It has also helped us understand that what we experienced was not an isolated problem (like a personality conflict) but a systemic problem. And it is not definitely not just an NTM problem either.

Here's a favorite quote: The most powerful of unspoken rules in the abusive system is what we have already termed the "can't-talk" rule. The "can't-talk" has this thinking behind it: "The real problem cannot be exposed because then it would have to be dealt with and things would have to change; so it must be protected behind walls of silence (neglect) or by assault (legalistic attack). If you speak about the problem out loud, you are the problem. In some way you must be silenced or eliminated."

Wow, Kathy, what a quote!! I'm going to read that book! Our first year as associates, two men were removed from the school for molesting kids. We were also extremely concerned by the overuse of corporal punishment and the bruises we saw left on children. After failing to get anywhere with the school leadership, my husband took his concerns to the field committee (who were very receptive and followed his advice to set definite policies on the use of corporal punishment and making sure there was more accountability from those who were dispensing it). Unfortunately, the school leadership labeled us as "difficult" which followed us to boot camp and certainly treated us like we were the problem - not the physical abuse of the children. In spite of our problems with some of the staff, we really loved the kids and thought we would go back and help make the school a more nurturing place but the Lord closed the door on that to our disappointment at the time.

Little boy in the front row "CLOSE YOUR EYES!"