A lot of good, positive things are happening among victims, their friends and their families. This thread is not meant to detract from that. In fact, it is intended to encourage it, and give some definition to it. I am not posting just to be argumentative. If it is helpful to anyone, I will be gratified. If others want to add to the discussion, I will be indebted to them.
Many victims will read (or just remember) a passage from Scriptures that seems to teach that "revenge" is bad: "Avenge not yourselves." Taken together with a popular definition of "vengeance" (inflicting maximum pain on another in mindless retaliation for wrongs), good, decent people are conflicted in their own hearts: Is it even good to want the criminal to be punished? Isn't this a form of taking revenge? Did you or did you not forgive the miscreant?
This is a perversion of forgiveness and justice alike. Such reasoning serves to protect corporate reputations, but at the expense of an unfair burden on the victims.
The dangers of poor, incomplete or false understanding of forgiveness are many. It can range from infrequent bouts of self doubt and wasted emotional energy to a perverted and perverse conception of what is right, normal and/ or desirable – as in the case of abused who become abusers.
So, here is where I am going with this: I believe the Scriptures teach that forgiveness is always and only for the benefit of the one forgiven. I base this on the analogy to God's forgiveness of us. God is not better off because we are forgiven, although we certainly are! Moreover, there is no Scripture where we are told to forgive for our own good, irrespective of others.
I also believe that forgiveness is always and only valid when it is based on justice – the payment of a penalty, the righting of a wrong.
Forgiveness seems to lead to the healing of the forgiven one as well. I'd like to look at some passages that have convinced me of this.
Yet, a lot of very good things are happening, many of them in full view of others here on this forum. If it isn't forgiveness, if it isn't healing, what is it? Which scriptural terms match the situation? Or, is God's word silent on the subject?
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