MK forum

I am still loving Brene Brown's books/talks about shame, vulnerability, courage. I would love to discuss this stuff as related to missionaries and MK's--anyone up for it?

I shall rise to the challenge. I sit on the mat, legs crossed, arms folded, tray table folded away and pilot in the upright position. Ummmm o.k. so I mixed my metaphysicals, let's try again. I am all fears, oops typo, I am all ears.
Oh for goodness sake, you start the conversation while I get myself sorted about.

Here's to get started :
http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/ ... p?id=24727

"1. We all have it. Shame is universal and one of the most primitive human emotions that we experience. The only people who don't experience shame lack the capacity for empathy and human connection. Here's your choice: Fess up to experiencing shame or admit that you're a sociopath. Quick note: This is the only time that shame seems like a good option.
"2. We're all afraid to talk about shame.
"3. The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives.

"There are a couple of very helpful ways to think about shame. First, shame is the fear of disconnection. We are psychologically, emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually hardwired for connection, love, and belonging. Connection, along with love and belonging (two expressions of connection), is why we are here, and it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Shame is the fear of disconnection — it's the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal that we've not lived up to, or a goal that we've not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection. I'm not worthy or good enough for love, belonging, or connection. I'm unlovable. I don't belong. Here's the definition of shame that emerged from my research:

"Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.

"People often want to believe that shame is reserved for people who have survived an unspeakable trauma, but this is not true. Shame is something we all experience. And while it feels as if shame hides in our darkest corners, it actually tends to lurk in all of the familiar places. Twelve 'shame categories' have emerged from my research:

• "Appearance and body image

• "Money and work

• "Motherhood/fatherhood

• "Family

• "Parenting

• "Mental and physical health

• "Addiction

• "Sex

• "Aging

• "Religion

• "Surviving trauma

• "Being stereotyped or labeled"

silence is never "saying NO"


But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.



I ponder WHY it is so hard for hardcore NTM members to step up and say something - ANYTHING


By NOT saying anything they in effect accept what leadership has-is-will do.


Some advice : SPEAK UP!!!!!!!!

You do NOT have to agree with everything I say. Just SAY SOMETHING for crying out loud!!!

Bemused--I know that you're well-adjusted. It's a good thing. I'm thinking more of the interaction between shame and behaviors . . .as in what ideas do we still carry from the years we spent in such a shame based culture? What role did shame have in missionaries who abused children? How does shame manifest itself in MK's?

Can you access Brene's You-tube sites there?

Ah, I answered the question wrongly.

I see where you are going. I don't think the abusers I knew have any shame at all. After all they were still loved by their wives, adulated by the natives, adored by the kids they hadn't abused and supported well by folks back home. Their consciences were abdicated and they were operating under the illusion that "we have no shame of the gospel of Christ". I think Jesus would have felt great shame at what was going on, not those who were acting shamefully.
Yes the modus operandi was to heap guilt and shame on others. Some took the burden and some still carry it. Some found ways to cope with it at the time and many just opted out of the system at the first opportunity (i.e. as soon as they got back to their home countries). Personally I found I just couldn't take it seriously and that became my method of coping. Perhaps if I had encountered other types of abuse from the ones I did, I would have different levels of shame to carry or cope with and in that we find all our journeys have similarities and differences simultaneously.

There is no need to carry the shame of the past if the shame was inflicted by others. The key to moving forward is to release oneself from the shame and guilt. Easier said than done of course.

End of Musings Two.

I can't find the comments on the World Cup. So, from an american who enjoys watching but doesn't care who wins, I present this short summary of soccer in general

http://twentytwowords.com/soccer-summed ... americans/

Waddaya mean ya no care who win da beautiful game? What a wrong with you? Brazil putta on da tournament for da world and now ya say ya not care who win de game?
Ya mus be some sorta Soccer Agnostic