MK forum

How are you handling this frustration, Lori?

NTM is being so shady, about so much of this!!

I just don't even know what to say.

AMENDED AND RESTATED
ARTICLES OF INCORPORATION
OF
NEW TRIBES MISSION, INC.

……

ARTICLE IV
MEMBERSHIP

The NTM Personnel Department Committee shall have the authority to recommend to the NTM USA Executive Board the name [sic] of new Regular and Associate members to the church. The NTM USA Executive Board shall have authority to approve those members who have subscribed to the policies and principles of NTM, Inc., as well as to the constitution and by-laws.

The NTM, Inc. Executive Board shall have the sole authority regarding all other matters relating to the rights and privileges of USA membership as regulated by the bylaws and doctrine of the organization.

…..

So, who wasn't doing their jobs? Who has sole authority in these matters? Why did "at least one NTM member" have to write the Executive Board and ask about this forced retirement that "imposed significant disciplinary restrictions on [the offender]", "pointing out that one policy said this and another said that"? Doubly so since NO policy seems to have stated that this significant disciplinary restriction was even allowable?

It is not and has never been a matter of one policy saying one thing and another policy saying another. It's a matter of NO policy supporting the significant disciplinary restrictions imposed on Gary, and NO ONE ON THE EXECUTIVE BOARD EVEN NOTICED!

I don't know how these men are doing in "ministry" but they sure have a poor record doing their jobs!

So I have to ask a question here. We know that Dreamwords has asked Brian Coombs for the letter of apology that Gary Earl wrote, and we are watching time continuing to pass without that letter being sent to her.

What if Lori NEVER gets that apology letter? Or what if instead of showing brokenness for the abuse, the letter in essence apologizes to NTM for being a bad missionary, a bad Christian, etc? It was written to Macon Hare, not to Lori, and it is totally possible that the apology was to NTM. After all, the culture of the time seems to have made being a bad missionary an ultimate offense.

So my question is, can the survivors become ‘thrivers’ even if NTM never meets their demands, expectations, desires or hopes? It seems to me that a positive response from NTM would be beneficial in the healing process; but if hopes are pinned to a response that may never come, then wanting results from NTM might actually be damaging to the individual?

In the long run, NTM will survive or crash – but to me that is not the important issue. A lot of time is spent on this site commenting about and criticizing NTM, and that is fine. But I know we also would like to see the survivors become healthy again – and for me that is my higher priority. I will continue to work to get changes brought about in NTM. But my main purpose in coming forward on this site was to encourage and support Lori and the other survivors.

So I’m throwing this out there. Dreamwords is still working through the rollercoaster of dealing with NTM, and the Via survivors have recently received their reports and are not yet in a position to look back and evaluate the value of it. However, the Fanda survivors have had that benefit of time, so perhaps they are in the best position to evaluate this?

Thoughts?

Oh, man, Paul. I hope you don't really mean what it sounds like you mean.

Yikes.

It's a good point and well worth discussion.

The path to healing is very much an individual one, as is the grieving process which most of us are familiar with. i.e. what works for some, doesn't necessarily work for another.

As you say, NTM (and any other mission or organisation in similar circumstances) could certainly facilitate the healing journey by showing compassion and openness. But for reasons best explained by themselves, this is often the route taken.

Some of us have got through our personal journey of accepting what happened to us and now spend considerable time helping others. That help takes different forms and one of them is the reassurance that someone cares enough to do something about the problem of justice not being served and having been avoided.

The problem is now much wider than NTM, this is a pandemic across many sectors, including the secular world. For instance look how many British entertainers are now facing court action because of allegations from their past, including one of my childhood heros Rolf Harris. It's a major problem in the Catholic Church and in many Protestant groups to. And behind the scenes much valuable work is done by people who post on this forum seeking to make an effort in ending child abuse and seeking justice wherever wrong has been done.
Many victims cannot speak, some are dead, some are incapacitated, but they deserve to be heard also.

I totally applaud your wish to see survivors become healthy, this I would like to see also. However as one survivor gets through their struggle, another appears on the radar and there just seems to be no end in sight. It's the proverbial ambulance at the bottom of the cliff scenario. Much better to have a fence at the top of the cliff and stop the victims occurring in the first place and the best people to put that fence up have alas left more than a few holes.

The answer to your question "can survivors become thrivers even if NTM never meets demands, expectations, desires or hopes" is yes. Many still believe in a healing God, some have the ability to write or work their way through their journey. But it would be a much easier journey if NTM leadership demonstrated true compassion, responsibility and humanity, which in a strange way is what the two of us are trying to do

(even though one of us is a sinner saved by grace and the other is wishing GRACE was still chasing sinners) couldn't resist