MK forum

[quote="dreamwords]Couldn't they have a board of advisors that overseas the Executive Committee, as in many other organizations?[/quote]

Oversee the EC? Now there's a radical thought. In their estimation, it appears, they have discretionary power over the laws of the lands. Maybe they never read Rom.13:1.

Hi, Arara Azul!
Good insight.
Sad insight.

In their estimation, it appears, they have discretionary power over the laws of the lands.
This is a great quote and applies to most missions - definitely to the C&MA! Mind if I use it when talking to media? I'm often at a loss for new ways of saying old messages!

Arara Azul, the above quote is from a memo written by NTM to IHART/Pat Hendrix on Aug. 9, 2013. I believe it was meant for IHART's eyes only. It was not officially released to us. It passed through several hands before it was seen by us here on Fanda Eagles. But I think it was written to IHART, not to us.

I hesitate to take anything from the past and hold it firmly as being applicable today. The process of these so-called independent investigations seems to constantly change. Plans for what to do and how to do it appear to keep getting modified. But yes, I do believe that last August, it was NTM's intention to steer the then-current investigations in the way described in the memo.

We have no way of knowing just how lengthy or specific the report IHART sent the NTM USA Executive Board was. Whether it contained names or not. My expectation would be that it did not contain names of MK victims. Remember that the report on the Vianopolis investigation was submitted to the EB last October already. Almost six months ago.

As for what those in the Recommendations Panel saw, again, I am not sure. I don't know if they saw a report that was in exactly the same form as the one sent to the EB or not. So far, none of the people who served on the Recommendations Panel have shared anything with us here on the forum about what their several-day meeting was like. What they read, how the process went. I do know that they put together some recommendations and submitted them to the EB. It is my impression that these recommendations were detailed and strong. Again, that was over five months ago. To date, as far as I am aware, the recommendations have not been carried out.

Until MK survivors actually receive their statements from IHART, none of us know, or can even predict, what form those reports will take. We are told they have been written and re-written several times. Last August it was envisioned that those individual statements would also contain recommendations for consequences, and NTM's subsequent actions related to the recommendations. Right now, in April, I am skeptical about what will be revealed by NTM, as far as subsequent actions. But only when you actually receive your personal report will you know what it contains. And only then will you be able to decide what your own response will be to the report you receive.

The assurance that "crimes were reported to the appropriate federal and state law enforcement agencies" has been used on me over and over in an attempt to make me believe that missionary child abusers will actually receive some sort of consequence from law enforcement. I'm sorry, but my own personal experience causes this attempt at assurance to sound hollow and meaningless.

21 years ago I was told that the man who molested my daughters had been reported to law enforcement. We were told then that he had been reported and that there was nothing that could be done to him because his crimes had been committed overseas. Only in recent years have I learned that what actually happened was that someone in Sanford placed a call to the sex abuse hotline and was told by the person on the other end that they could not take the report because the abuse occurred overseas. As far as I can tell, that means there is no record of that phone call, or of any offenses that missionary committed. But that was not explained to us back in 1993. We believed for many years that all that could be done had been done.

My skeptical heart tells me that something similar has happened in the current investigation process. It's not that I disbelieve the investigators when they say they have reported the abuse they have uncovered. But I am imagining that somewhere in Seminole County, Florida, there is a growing list in some police station of NTM missionary child abusers who have been reported by Part Hendrix, or Richard Ramirez, or Pii, etc. The list is growing, but what is happening next? Those of you whose abusers have been reported, have you received a phone call or any other contact from a police officer, a detective, or an ICE agent? Is anyone digging deeper, working on arresting or prosecuting these perps?

There's your answer. That is why "the crimes were reported to law enforcement" promise feels meaningless to me. It's just not that simple. Our law enforcement and child protectors and pedophile hunters are overwhelmed as it is with current, ongoing cases of abuse. The MK abuse that is being reported, in most cases, happened 20 or more years ago. It's not that law enforcement doesn't care. But they are tragically so busy working to save current victims from current abuse that it's hard for me to imagine they are enthused about pursuing the aging missionaries on this growing list of abusers' names being submitted to them by IHART. And that, I believe, is the reality we are dealing with.

But do not despair. Lori McAlister has shown us there is an effective way to respond to our pain and frustration. We do have options. And with strength and courage and community, we can pursue these options. Together.

Raz you have described well what has happened. So sad the leadership of NTM and many other mission seem to have no common sense. Have no idea how they break the heart of God. No idea they are promoting crimes. Why they are blinded by loyalty to an organization.

Loyalty--not sure where that all comes from, Shary . . .except in a fear-based community. I once accepted a contract to work 2 years for a hospital for a significant sign on bonus. Ten of us started at once. If we left before the 2 years were up, we had to pay back a pro-rated amount. It was a disaster. Staffing never stabilized. Our unit manager used us as her stepping stone--went to conferences about her wonderful work with us, but she never worked with us, to manage any issues. A few nurses left before the two years was up, having wisely not spent all of that money. We counted down the months. We lost our assistants, and the corporation just couldn't find anyone to help us. We would go past their elaborate construction projects--snack bars, fountain features, marble-- and go to our unit. There we had patients with life-threatening events happening, and in the next bed would be a patient with constant diarrhea. We had to tend the cardiac events and phone calls to the doctors, and let the patient with diarrhea sit in it. One by one, nurses found new positions at the two year mark. Every day I went in, it was like a death in the family . . .which nurse was leaving . . .we had gotten close over the catastrophes . . .. Then, I was the last one of the ten there. Last man standing. My manager, the one that didn't do anything for us, asked me to come in and she told me she was going to another position. I left the office, and looked at the walls of that tiny, understaffed hellhole -- I asked my husband . . ."who am I being "loyal" to? The walls?

My loyalty was nothing, meaningless to anyone except me. And it made no sense. I had to step out of the picture and look at it rationally . . .

The only thing to do was find a better place to work. But it still didn't "feel" right. I left anyway.

Six years later, some good years, then some bad years, I once again struggled about whether to leave another toxic, abusive work environment.

It must have been hard-wired into us, this loyalty crap. These two work environments didn't include any of the "spiritual guilt" that missions put on us . . .no biblical reasons . . .no family ties. But I still felt guilty for leaving.

It was obviously a carry-over from childhood.

If you are struggling about whether to leave NTM or not . . .talk to a trusted outsider. Be objective. See what they say about your organization. Talk to a therapist.

But don't go with your feelings of loyalty alone.

My Dear Fellow Nurse,

I can identify fully with you, as been there done that.
Have placed my loyalty in people and organisations that have systematically walked over me for years. But, with the assistance of Mrs Bemused, I am no longer the doormat that I was. I select who I call my friends and while I'll happily help others to help themselves and help those who cannot genuinely help themselves, I will no longer "give till the last drop" to those who only take from life or only contact me when they want something.
The word "no" is now in my vocabulary.

I'm a much better person for it, should have done it years ago, but that is how the cookie crumbled.

Nursing can be a thankless job with many demands. It can also be exhilarating when it goes right. I hope you have more of the latter experiences and that those who benefit from your caring and devotion express their gratitude.

The world needs more good nurses, (trust me, I'm a nurse )

Cheers

Bemused

P.s. to make this relevant to NTM. NTM would not qualify as a caring nurse and makes a terrible patient, because they won't take their medicine, complain at the slightest pain even though the injury is self inflicted and rarely says thank you or sorry.