MK forum

Give me an honest Athiest who will stand up and say "enough is enough" above an Apathetic Christian any day. As a simple Sympathetic Agnostic from the bottom of the globe, I'll work with anyone who wants to bring this nonsense to an end, no matter what colour, creed or occupation.
So here we are Yunker, a real man of no faith and a slightly cowardly man of dubious faith, singing from the same Hymn book (oops bad analagy). Good to have you on this side of the child abuse fence with the other rag tags.
You may not have any friends from "the field" but hey at least you've got one MK friend now, even if he is a flightless Kiwi with a long beak .

We were still members of NTM when the GRACE report on Fanda was released...we had just left the field after having a pretty bad experience with leadership and we were in for more, but didn't know it yet.

When I first read the report, I was stunned and it was hard to take in...I reread it several times that week that it came out. Then I found myself drawn to the first few pages that describe the NTM atmosphere and leadership structure in Senegal at the time that created an atmosphere where abuse was made possible and allowed it to be covered up, etc. I remember that the definition of spiritual abuse given in the footnotes was something that really stuck out to me...there is a list of four characteristics of a spiritual abusive religious institution...1) power posturing, 2) performance preoccupation, 3) unspoken rules (such as the 'don't talk' rule) and 4) lack of balance.

Although the GRACE report was describing the NTM in Senegal of the 80s and 90s, we had experienced the same kind of mission environment. dysfunctional leadership style and characteristics of spiritually abusive religious institution on 2 different fields during the years 2005-2010. In fact, the GRACE report helped me actually put into words what we had experienced and brought insight into something that had been very hard for us to make sense of...another characteristic of a dysfunctional system is that it works very hard to make you feel as if YOU are the problem, not the system, so if you bring up a problem, YOU BECOME THE PROBLEM. And we pressured very, very hard to feel as if we were the problem.

So then the light bulb went on for me...yes, abuse happened in Senegal and now we know that it happened on many other fields as well, but much of the environment and atmosphere that contributed to the abuse is still the same. Therefore, it would not surprise me to discover that abuse is still occurring somewhere in NTM today...in fact, I know that emotional and spiritual abuse is still happening because we were abused that way and I continue to hear stories of others (adults and children) who were also emotionally and spiritually abused in recent years.

To me, it's just a matter of a + b = c...if a and b are the factors that contribute to an atmosphere/environment that favor abuse and these remain the same, then it would seem logical that yes, abuse continues to occur. I hate to think that this is true and it sounds so harsh and ugly to say...I really wish it weren't so. But I have come to believe that until there is a radical restructuring of the leadership hierarchy, a strong commitment to weed out dysfunctional leaders and working to abolish the spiritual abuse (such as those four characteristics listed in the GRACE report...among other changes, obviously, but those would be an excellent start), there will not be a change in the outcome, being the resulting NTM environment, and abuse will continue to be perpetrated.

AnotherMK, every time "change" has been mentioned by anyone in NTM--
And it has been on this site
We bring up our RECENT abuse by leaders
And the abuse we keep hearing about on other fields.
IT HAS NOT CHANGED.
We have heard of candidates who hear such good things in the training
And then get to the field and find out
IT IS NOT THAT WAY.
Which is what happened to us in the 80's
And also very recently.
No, we are no longer with NTM.
It would be optimistic to think that NTM would change.
But think about it.
There is no questioning
No suggestions allowed
No input no matter how experienced one might be
(Unless you give in to the system.)
WHERE IS THIS CHANGE GOING TO COME FROM?
It's a dead end, sorry to have to say.

I am not optimistic that NTM will change...although with God, nothing is impossible...

My point was to address the question of whether abuse could be ongoing in NTM today? My answer is yes, in all probability the abuse continues because the factors that contribute to creating the atmosphere conducive to abuse remain constant. Until there is significant change in those factors, abuse will continue to occur or at the very least an atmosphere conducive to abuse will remain, increasing the chances of abuse by a significant factor.

Whether or not NTM will have the courage and integrity to make those changes, well, that's another matter entirely!

Some great points made by T.J. Addington that would seem to apply to this conversation...

"Healthy leaders want honest feedback for the sake of their ability to lead well and for the health of the organization. Their healthy EQ (emotional intelligence) invites honest conversation and they keep their anxiety and fear under control so that they are open to suggestions, critique and feedback. They listen carefully and then evaluate the information for its truth or relevancy." T.J. Addington, What Leaders Need to Know, March 23, 2013

"We are on autopilot in our ministries when we become comfortable with what is rather than constantly asking what could be. As a ministry leader I am amazed at how quickly we become comfortable with where we are and stop asking the important questions about our strategies, effectiveness and how well we are accomplishing our mission.

The longer you remain comfortable the harder it is to get out of the comfort zone and do something different." T.J. Addington, We Either Innovate or Stagnate, March 19, 2013

Good points to ponder...

As I read these posts I think of a conversation we had with our pastor when we were trying to raise our support. He ended up the President of the Association of Regular Baptist Churches which approved mission boards of which ABWE was one. Anyway, our pastor told us he could never serve as a missionary because of the field counsel situation and yet the whole culture was how he operated (you know, ladder climber, power hungry). That should have been our first clue but we were ready to do what we thought the Lord wanted us to do. The field counsel described at our candidate school was not the field counsel we served with or under whichever way we look at it. The culture of these mission organisations has a wrong foundation therefore they will never perform properly, my opinion mind you. I keep thinking back how so many people from churches and the missionaries themselves don't see it for what it is but they just don't. Full stop.

AnotherMK, I am fearful also that all kinds of abuse continues on in the NTM culture.
Point well made.
And thanks for keeping current with T.J. Addington.
We suggested that NTM use him as a resource for their "Leadership Evaluation"
which we fear they have never begun.
As you may guess
They did not respond.