MK forum

So here we are, all good Christian folk, caring for each other and seeking healing from this mess. Oops not quite right, mostly good Christian folk, there is the odd exception relating to faith, but lets pretend we are all on the same theological wavelength for a moment.

But what about those who aren't here? Sure some have lost their faith, their identity or just want to forget they ever heard of NTM. And that is fair enough.

So that leaves those who won't get involved, ignoring what others are going through or have been through. Take the field I ended up on, PNG. Big field, lots of MKs, very few here, why?

PNG was a strange field, it felt like the rejects of NTM ended up there and often ran the show. Policy was taken to extreme (remember the seperation issue, we seperated from everyone) and clicques and factions formed all with their loyalties. Oh the bitching and gossiping that was done in Gods name, while the paedophiles were at work, either unnoticed (not likely) or having a blind eye closed on them.
So we all left PNG and turned into lovely Christian citizens, right? nope! Hard as it is to fathom, the same narrow minded groups still exist today and so MK won't help MK because they didn't get on when they were kids, which for most of us was decades ago. Holy Cow that is bad, but alas it is what is coming to light.
When an abused MK reaches out to another MK for help and gets the reply, "you need to forgive and forget like I did and move on" it stinks and it certainly ain't Christ like in my book. But then scratching a little deeper, it's not really about "forgive and forget" it's really, "I don't want any more closet doors open, because I'm still being controled and have been told not to dig up the past". Many of us still have parents in or strongly supporting NTM, we have MKs we grew up with who are back on the field, so the choice is a call on old loyalties. And there on our shoulders are the same old NTM voices, just like a conscience saying "don't go into the past, let it go".
And so blood is thicker than water and the counsel one seeks persuades one that forgiving and forgetting will make you a better Christian and you're walk with the Lord will be even more enriching e.t.c. They might even provide an incentive for you to think that way. And so when the call comes "please help me", the bolts go on the cupboard doors and you believe that it was all in the past and there is no more abuse taking place anyway.

But can you be really sure that there is no abuse going on in PNG or any other field today? Sanford is a long long way away, where the leaders are making policies. Just look who is on the field, that's right, the children of some of those old abusers and what sort of childhood did they have? One where they learned that they were above the law, just like mum and dad, or one where they were abused too, but never told anyone and are just repeating the cycle?

Is Bemused a prophet of doom or a realist based on what he has learnt? Are you still under the control of someone else and unwittingly going along with it because you want to be loved and accepted? Where is the Christian compassion that wants to help another MK?

Lets be blunt at this point. To those MKs who just can't be bothered or have some biblically based aversion to helping another MK, there could be a day when a closet is opened and you catch an Uncle you recognise with his pants down, then the light bulb goes on and you realise you need help. What then? Run headlong for Fanda Eagles and hope someone is there to care for you, let you cry on their shoulder or turn to the old loyalties who will say, "Forgive, forget and move on". All the best with either option.

Lots to think about here. Thanks for exploring this.

This is a very sobering thought: "Just look who is on the field, that's right, the children of some of those old abusers and what sort of childhood did they have? One where they learned that they were above the law, just like mum and dad, or one where they were abused too, but never told anyone and are just repeating the cycle?"

As for MKs not being willing to take any risks or call attention to themselves by helping fellow MKs, I don't think PNG MKs are the only ones who behave that way. I would say the same holds true for most of the MKs from the Philippines too. How many Philippine MKs have posted here? A handful. How many have posted within the past six months? Only one that I can think of.

Considering the fact that this website has received 2,567,855 hits so far, you would think there would be more voices speaking out, and speaking up.

Your silence speaks loudly, MKs! And God hears that silence! Jesus himself has already told us how our earthly actions or inactions will be judged.

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

Hi Raz,

Lets throw some other stats into the pot. Between the two of us we have managed 3,507 posts or 24.09 % of all posts.
Pretty impressive, especially when the length of some of those posts is taken into account. That is a lot of words about one subject
So why so many? No doubt because we both have a personal connection with child abuse and we care enough to want to make the world a better place for those who have suffered abuse and for the generations to come.

But what am I doing here? I ask myself often, espcially in light of my doubts about God. The reason I come up with is, NTM-PNG did not take away my conscience or my ability to question and think for myself. While many others abdicated their thoughts to others and forgot to pick them up when they left, some of us didn't leave them behind. Yes there is a big trade off, we have often become estranged from our families and former friends because of it, but we can live with ourselves and still think and reason for ourselves. If our families and former friends only love us if they can control us, then it is to high a price to pay for love that comes with strings.

I'm not bitter about the past, but I won't sit idly by and see a fellow MK suffer because others are to scared to break the contoling bonds they still allow to dominate their lives. Bemused spent his NTM years at the bottom of a sadistic pecking order, so he can take any old rubbish thrown at him. But watching another MK suffer needlessly, is dicing with a fired up Bemused and one thing my father taught me, was to hit once and hit very hard. And he was very very right.

P.s. forgot. Big Hug for thee, fellow warrior.

P.s.s. Them is as rare as hens teeth , Bemused does not hug often!!!!!

Preach it, Brother.

Amen!



(And I'm smiling. Sitting here in the Church of the Bemused.)

Life is a trip, isn't it!

No wonder I was not (am not) loved...
I cannot be controlled.
I hear often that I needed to be 'tamed'... still not tame I guess.

I sadly agree with you, Bemused, shaking my head at the futility of it all.

All your concerns are valid. Including the concern that people who were raised in abusive families may be acting out their deep-buried pain in destructive ways.

Multiple background checks will still be ineffective if secretive people remain secretive.

And "secret" is one of the favorite words of a child abuser.

NTM has missed their chance to shine the light of truth into very dark closets and corners. They have circled the wagons in self-protection, thinking Fanda Eagles and angry abuse victims who have regained their voice and their power are their enemies.

No, NTM. Your enemies are within the gates. Inside your circle. Your enemies are missionaries who passed all your tests and are now free to molest their own children, beat their wives, salivate over pornography in their offices in tribal villages, and then stand up and preach the gospel with fervor.

You have demonstrated to these people that you are far more interested in protecting your precious mission organization, shielding your reputation, and soothing your donors that you are in ripping out, rooting up, dragging perverts out into the sunny street, and executing swift justice for all to see and believe.

It sounds fitting to me, to burn down a house where family members turned on each other and the innocent perished. But some refuse to do that. Some bring in the bleach water, turn on the fans, lay new carpet, paint the walls, and re-sell the house without disclosing the sensational crimes that occurred there.

In this country, there are even companies that will do that cleanup for you. Companies with names like Aftermath Services, BioTrauma 911, and Crime Scene Cleaners.

Yes, there you go. Pay someone to clean it all up, and then you can act like it never happened.

So much better than burning it down.

Even the title of this thread is so ominous.
We have had thoughts just like this.
The abnormalities just go on and on.
How could they not when one can't be part of the 'good old boys' club'
Unless he conforms?

Why would he WANT to?
Because he doesn't know what is normal.

We have long thought it not "normal" to come back to the U.S. and go right to the NTM environment
And stay there until one is approved to go back to the field.

During our time, college was considered "ungodly."
Certainly not as godly as NTBI.

Congratulations to you here who are slipping out from under the CONTROL you once suffered.