MK forum

mk chame, Praying for you, you need someone to physically be there to help you. I do hope there is someone you can trust. Full stop.

I'm just now seeing your post, mk chame. I am so sorry you are in such deep agony. Like the others who have posted, I have no magic words that can fix any of this. But I do want to tell you also that we love you and care about you and your children and grandbaby.

Life hurts so much sometimes ....

Thank you everyone....for letting me vent (again!!) long day, spoke with my sister for two hours this morning. She and I came back together as sisters. It started out as the "baby shower chronicles" as I have labeled it. I am not invited and my niece wants to go but not alone as she hates the stepminimom from all that she and ex put me through. I don't want my daughter to have a bad baby shower. I want the best for her regardless of how she treats me right now. My Mom proclaimed a month ago she would not be going as she would be crying the whole time over her daughter's pain (hmmmm) My sister caught in the middle and no clue really to what is what as she boycotts facebook and the entire shower is being planned in one of those event things. Chronicles of Embleton. The other version on the Narnias was so much better a read don't you think?

Good out of bad. My sister and I patched things up. She helped me recall a little more and sadly she is now unblocking. My offender purposely refused her entry to the dorm when he was getting ready to have his "special put God into your heart" time with me. She was left to fear for her sister and for her punishment from my Mom. My sisters real label. 2nd in Command on the tough stuff Mom to Heather. Or when Heather was being Heather then Marla you deal with her and fix her. And then the feeling of being not good enough because she was kicked out and I stayed. BACK TO ANOTHER THERAPY SESSION FOR ME. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM.

I hate MEN today...back up re word, I hate MEN who are in my life, been in my life and won't get out of my life...

This one is dedicated to all you men that put hate in my heart!!

I HATE YOU
You Love Yourself

I GREW UP
You Grew from Childish to Infantile

I LOVE
You Love to be in Hate

I SPEAK
You Speak For ME

I SPEAK UP
You Speak For Me

I LEAVE
You Stay

I STAY
You Leave to HER

I CALL YOUR NAME
You call Me Names

I CRY
You Laugh At ME

I TELL YOU EVERTHING
You Tell Everyone

I LOVE GOD
You Use God Against Me

I CHANGE
You ReArrange ME

I LEAVE
You Still Stay

I CALL ANOTHER NAME
You Keep Calling ME Names

I HATE YOU
You Think I Love You

I LAUGH
You Make Me Cry

I AM GONE
You Are Still There

Just like there are good missionaries amongst those who let the side down, there are many good men in the world. Men who love their children, who work hard to provide for them. There are good men who care for others children as if they were there own and men who care for the sick and dying.
The world would be a better place if all men were like this, but alas as we have come to realise, this is sadly not the case.

I work with some wonderful caring male nursing staff, mostly from the Philipines. They are gentle yet strong, caring with wonderful senses of humour and they don't mind working with a balding european male nurse who has been nursing for longer than they have been on the planet, so that is pretty cool in my book.

What makes a man bad is often greed. The need to satisfy his lust for objects, power or self importance above the needs of those around him. When a man is satisfied with what he has in life and helps others to improve their lot, he is a much better man for it.

Bemused yes there are good men in this world. I am sorry that my mind was so altered as a child that I don't trust men. I have to constantly remind myself there are good men. One of the sad results of abuse.

Perfectly understandable given the circumstances. When one group appoint itself as being able to dictate how another group must live, then not adhere to those rules themselves, trust is the casualty. To be abused by those who were charged with ones total welfare destroys trust and innocent people get caught up in the backwash.

Of course I'm no perfect male myself, but I do have some nice references in crayon that I wrote myself . Mrs Bemused is still of course modifying this less than perfect specimen, but it will take a while.

Let us pray he said devoutly
And read from "The Word"
Those around him marveled
At the sincereity they heard

Everyone trusted him
Such a man of God
And no one bothered question
Little behaviours that were odd

Such were his words of spirituality
They believed not the rumours told
That Uncle's hands were going
On children who were not that old

Each little whiff of scandal
Was dismissed as a bitter child
And Uncle grew more bold
As more and more he defiled

Maquerading as a man of God
He was alas not alone
For dozens of animals like him
Had come to make the mission home

Oh they said the right things
So no one doubted sincerity
And he raped and beat his dorm kids
The likes of you and me

Ranting meanwhile in the school
They preached purity till marriage bed
And the evil evil catholics
Who sinned in heart and head

Yes they overlooked the beast
Concentrating on others sinful flecks
Never saw the mark on the beasts forehead
For it read, SEX, SEX, SEX

Ah, that last verse is pure genius, Mr. Poetry.