Just realised, it is now just over a year since the last conversation I had with my father. So putting myself on the couch and sitting in the shrinks chair (split personality allows this
), how do I feel?
O.k. actually, perhaps a little frustrated that I hadn't been able to confront him decades ago about the child abuse scandal in NTM and thereby move on, but I wasn't aware of the sheer magnitude of the unfolding scandal. But on the positive side, the manipulation of my brain has stopped and I can see a lot more clearly what was the truth of my childhood and what was fiction.
On one hand I am sorry that others have had horrendous childhoods within NTM, but there is also some comfort that mine was not just an isolated experience.
So where to from here? Who knows, it is not my move next. But realistically I can envisage no reconciliation, while we find ourselves on opposite sides of the child abuse issue.
It's been quite a year.