On a field with which I am familiar, there was a dorm father and mother who were well liked by most kids and most parents. These dorm parents had their own kids in the dorm, as well as looking after quite a few other kids of varying ages and both sexes.
A field leader confided to a missionary - a missionary who had no kids in the boarding school - that the dorm father "had it in" for one of his female charges. It so happened that this young lady "had issues" that tended to override her otherwise attractive attributes. Someone has to be at the bottom of the heap. . . It was her misfortune to land there.
Evidently, since this dorm father liked and was liked by most of the children in the dorm and their parents, his unjust actions towards this girl were tolerated. Even her parents were silent, a situation perhaps explained in part by the fact that her father was hot to get on the Field Committee himself. No point in alienating the powers that be.
The missionary who became privy to this bit of news was silent, too. It wasn't his business; he had no kids in the school. He had noticed that behavior that was not tolerated in this poor girl was considered acceptable for the dorm father's own kids, but he still kept silent. I don't think he liked confrontation. And, no point in alienating the powers that be. And, of course, they were already aware of the problem. Just trust the Lord to work through them.
It is such small, seemingly insignificant decisions that contribute to a culture of abuse. I am not making excuses for any of these spineless people, but "it just happened" really does explain a part of it. And, of course, the fear of what making a fuss over things that are not one's own business contributes a LOT.
Gossip, too, was an important part of the mix. Gossip is poison, but it's a tasty one! It solves nothing, complicates everything and deceives those who participate in it into believing they are "doing something." I guess they ARE doing something, just nothing helpful. And a whole lot hurtful.
Sin soon snowballs into crimes. Crimes are hidden, lest "innocent" people be hurt, and the pollution gets deeper and deeper. This "trivial question" by Bemused is spot on. The fact that examples could be multiplied from every school on every field should make our skin crawl.
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