MK forum

Dear Dad I just want to know:
What is your take on all of this? Where is your voice?
Love,
Journey

Dear Journey,

To walk in someone elses shoes and see the world as they do takes a little nerve. To be a parent of an MK such as many of us and walk in our shoes I suspect takes enorormous courage. For it raises the fear that one might have to look at ones lifes work and admit, "I got it all wrong", wrong time, wrong place, wrong organisation, wrong people I trusted with my children. And that is a scary prospect for someone who has dedicated their lives to a cause that they believe so strongly in that they have forsaken the comforts of western living, the closeness of extended family and friends e.t.c.

For some the thought of walking in their MKs shoes is to daunting, so they decline the offer and alas are probably the poorer for their decision.

I'm not a parent of an MK, but I think if I was and I switched shoes I'd be scared at what I might see. I'd be scared of finding out that who I thought was caring for my MK, had very different intentions and some of these people I'd called friends. I'd be scared of finding out that the organisation I firmly believed to be standing for all that my God could bring to the world, had a dark side that was unfathomable in comprehension and that I had naively gone along with it. But if I was a parent of an MK, I'd hope that by putting on their shoes I'd walk through the fear, doubt and hurt, to begin a journey of healing and reconciliation and I'd earnestly pray that our shoes could walk side by side again.

All true, Bemused.

All too true.

Thanks for this very poignant post. It touches my heart.

May God give us ALL the strength and courage so needed for this long, painful process.

Raz
(NTM MK, former NTM missionary, and mother of abused MKs)

And someone who has had the courage to walk in others shoes, till the souls wore thin. And deserves the recognition for having done so. I have the utmost respect for someone who battles endlessly to see a fairer, kinder world.

The shoe thing is fabulous.
Very vivid.
Walk on!

Don't mind at all, if you want to cut, paste and forward any of my ramblings.
Feel free.

Courtesy of Raz
GRACE's Facebook page is such an encouragement on this long and weary journey.

Here's what they posted today:

"A culture that silences its members from speaking with each other about suspected abuse is one where abuse will always flourish."

Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (G.R.A.C.E.)

In an e-mail exchange with a wise friend last night, it dawned on me, my mother quite possibly has no idea of any of this Child Abuse matter.

Sounds unlikely? Especially given her son has been airing so much dirty family laundry on the Fanda Eagles Washing Line.
It's rather simple, everything she reads, hears and sees is controlled by my father. I have not had a conversation with my mother, where he has not been within earshot for many years. On the phone one can hear him commenting and telling her what to say in the background. He would not allow her to have a ride in a new car I had, claiming the seats were bad for her back (it was a two seater), for fear that we might talk. And he watches her like a hawk. She has suffered two mental breakdowns and so he now thinks for her.
The last thing he would want is her finding out that his beloved NTM is not the what he has been portraying to her. So she still wanders the highlands of PNG in her head, one step behind him, convinced he is the "theological hero" that he has lead her to believe, singing little chorus's that she has picked up along the way. She hasn't really come home yet, despite the body being here for 20 years.
Does she love him? He doesn't give her an option. He doesn't give anyone he is close to options, you either do it his way or as he told me once "you are going to hell".
So my father has perpetuated the culture of silence and no doubt helped it to flourish. Why? Because he desires ultimate control for himself. Is he the only one? Is my mother the only NTM woman (past or present) to end up in these circumstances? Was it worth it?