MK forum

I am an MK we were on the field over 12 years. I did attend one of the school where this abuse took place.Although I was never sexually abused I was emotionally abused and spent most of my life thinking I was a failure. I never understood what was wrong with me or why I was not good enough I just knew that I never met any ones expectation.Looking back now I can see and understand that many of the staff at the school did not like kids nor did they want to be put in the job they were doing. They were forced to work and do jobs that they were not equipped to do. I have often thought that they had such a valuable opportunity to shape and mold the next generation to go forth and do great work for God (whom they were suppose to be serving) instead they crushed spirits and trampled on little hearts and left many wounded in their wake.
Having said that I have other siblings that have come through the same experience and came out strong and confident in who they are and what they believe. I can only speculate that it is due to our different personalities.
I have been away from the field many years now and know several people in my life that have been sexually abused in this country at the same time all of this was going on in the mission field and the way the situations were handled are very similar people did not talk about abuse they did not turn people in for abuse. I do not think people started talking about abuse until Oprah. My husband was abused so his mother moved the family, my co worker was abused by a family member so the family moved they never confronted the abuser they moved the child from the situation. It seems strange now because of what we know but that was how it was back then. It does not make it right but NTM was not the only one that did not know how to handle sick people.

Thanks for your perspective, wounded.
It is, indeed, a horrible mess!
Crushed spirits and trampled hearts are A BIG DEAL.
We pray for your healing and for your help in the lives of others.

Welcome, Wounded. Your articulate post carries lots of wisdom. Everything you say is true. Many factors affect how a child perceives and is affected by childhood situations. Several MKs on these forums have talked about their confusion when other MKs who attended the same school and were in the same dorm as them have nothing but fond memories of time spent there. Missionaries who become the monsters haunting one adult's nightmares are revered Uncle or Aunt So-and-so of someone else.

It is also very true that abuse of children is widespread all over the globe. I remember my daughter telling me that every single one of her friends in her Midwestern American high school had been molested. Admittedly, in her wounded condition, she was most comfortable in a group of similarly troubled teens, but still, her group was large, and it shocked me when she told me all of them, both boys and girls, had abuse in their past.

And yes, very rarely do adults seem to know how to handle the discovery of abuse in a healthy way. Denial, avoidance, silence and secrecy are the most common responses. This fuels the rage of the survivor, when the adults they trust the most do not advocate for them.

Many people do not understand why some MK abuse survivors show a lot of anger toward New Tribes Mission as a whole. But I think this comes about as a result of the impotency of those the child counted on to protect them, fight for them and advocate for them, who instead failed them, betrayed them and abandoned them.

Even now this is playing itself out. The response of NTM to the revelations of child abuse within its ranks is perceived as self-protection rather than advocacy for the survivor. When it feels like NTM is more concerned about its own survival than the well-being of the children who were left wounded and bleeding on the side of the road, resentment builds. Survivors worry that what happened to them might have (most likely) happened to others. They long for pedophiles and child-despisers to be exposed and called out, and for news to spread, so that other MKs don't continue to suffer alone, thinking they are the only ones who were abused. The besieged mentality of NTM makes it appear that they are more concerned with trying to shore up their own reputation than they are about trying to find others with wounded hearts who need help and healing.

Thank you for sharing your story and your heart. You input is very valued here, and we would love to hear more from you.

These 3 posts should be shared on every blog and forum dealing with sexual abuse of children. They say it all as far as I am concerned. Full stop.

Bemused,

You covered it so aptly and I agree I do hope this forum helps victims, whether they are at this time accepting their past experiences or having a hard time doing just that.