|
I am an MK from Brazil. I was never sent to a boarding school and neither were my parents. My mother was raised in a tribe and studied under the tutelage of her parents. My father's parents were teachers at the boarding school, so you could say my father was not "boarding schooled". Both my parents took the initiative to continue homeschooling right in the tribal ministry.
I can vouch for all that is said regarding children feeling they are a burden to the ministry in a boarding school environment, yet, I am coming from another angle. It always struck me as strange that parents had time to spend with the tribal people and their children teaching them about Jesus, but their own children had to be sent off and away to let their parents "do ministry".
Throughout the years, my father, a very practical man, suggested that, instead of investing so heavily in infrastructure, the enlisting of large numbers of teachers, and, especially separating the children from their parents, there could be another system. The parents could have their children with them at the tribe, learning about the ministry, learning their regular schooling, and the missionaries could organize in conjunction with the mission organization a small group of itinerant teachers who would make the rounds helping the parents organize and plan the tutelage of their children. Of course, this idea was considered unthinkable.
One of the issues we always heard about sending us to an NTM boarding school was that my siblings and I would become (here comes the horrible term) "social misfits". The same term was used against my grandparents, my mother and her siblings. Funny thing though, they are all able to socialize in at least three different cultures. So, I have always asked myself which social standard is best. Being able to socialize in at least three different cultures is a privilege extended mostly to diplomats around the world. I really believe my grandparents and my parents made the right choice in the matter -- even under extreme criticism.
I have known many MKs, relatives included, who were sent off to the boarding school so they wouldn't "lose their american culture". Well, they were brought up in the boarding school believing it was a Little America. Yet, when they went to the US, they found out that it was not a Little America. It was, in fact, an idealized, religous concept of America. So, they go to the USA and find out they have become "social misfits" in the American society, and when they return to the country they were brought up in, they also find out that they never learned the native language nor the native culture very well. They have difficulties fitting in with the US culture and they have difficulties fitting in with the native culture they lived in. This has shown me that one of the maind purposese of the boarding school concept has backfired.
By keeping me and my siblings with them on the field, our parents gave us a special kind of education. We learned more than one language, we learned to socialize with different cultures, we exposed our minds to different languages expanding our linguistic perception and capacity to learn new languages and to different phonetic sounds (or at least to comprehend them), and a host of many other things that many would have never thought possible in the kind of situation I lived in. In fact, most of what we MKs (homeschooled and boarding schooled) learn on the field can never, ever, be learned in a formal learning setting. I can see this in Kari's personal website.
Because my parents kept me and my siblings with them at the tribe, almost all of us continue in the ministry because of that. I continue in Brazil, because of that. I have married a Brazilian lady and have two children, socialize with Brazilians as my own people for I, too, am a Brazilian citizen. I can also socialize with the US culture freely. Ami I strange to many Americans? Yes, I am. But then again, what is normal in the US society today? I was in the US with my children recently, and I feel I was able to fit in very well. The US is no longer the same as it was just ten years ago. Keeping me with them at the tribal work, undergoing criticism and different levels of negative discrimination by many other NTM MKs, even from different fields worldwide and continuing on through all of this has made me even more resolved to continue with my responsibility towards my children.
Some people may point out that there are bad parents who are also abusive towards their children in a non-boarding school situation. I would like to point out that, there are various points that must be considered here.
1. Biblically, it is the parents responsibility to teach, educate, train, (whatever else) their children. It is more a matter of principle rather than who has done wrong in "either camp". The point I am trying to make is that God has set up a model for us to follow, and that model is the best system that exists.
2. Even abusive parents have attachments to their children they wouldn't have with children that are not of their blood. That would tend to reduce the amount of damage done by a parent.
3. The number of victims is lessened. The damage caused to children by their own parents in a regular school or homeschooling situation is drastically reduced because the number of victims is reduced. In a boarding school, the amount of children under the tutelage of a dorm parent situation is normally greater than that of a home situation. If one set of dorm parents acts abusively, then the number of victims grows astronomically.
4. Exceptions to the rule should not become the rule. There are certain times when there are exceptions to the rule such as tribal situations where children would be exposed to immoral or abusive situations. Yes, there are exceptions to rules. But, what I have noticed in most situations is that the exception (viz. sending your children to a boarding school), became the rule for two very wrong reasons.
a.Give our children the best education. This point shows pride behind the reasoning, and I believe this is the main reason why most missionaries and mission organizations keep boarding schools. The cost for this kind of pride, although, is the loss of a healthy and wonderful family relationship.
b.The massification of sending children to a boarding school, turning it into a non-mandatory, mandatory, (contradiction intentional) law which was never a law. I saw firsthand the pressures that my parents lived under in order to keep us with them at the tribe. Even though there was no written law within NTM for missionaries to send their children to the American boarding school, many seemed to think of it as some kind of "Common Law". Many just supposed that it was the best and the right way, therefore, no one should think differently.
I think if we look at first principles first, then go onto the consequences of taking either route, one can eliminate similar factors on either side. For example, many will say things such as, "Well, I knew someone who homeschooled and ....." then something negative will come along, or, "I know someone who went to a boarding school and ....." then something negative will come along. But I believe that this way of arguing leads to nowhere. What is it that God has so clearly given us that is so obvious that it should not be doubted? It is the first principle that God gave children to the parents and they are responsible for their upbringing that counts. Hiring third-party educators (dumping the responsibility onto others) is downright wrong in God's system.
One more point that I have always found interesting. Every MK that tried to convince me to go to a boarding school were living with their parents at the boarding school. No exceptions. I cannot remember ONE MK who was living away from his/her parents who tried to convince me that boarding school was best.
So, with first principles first and facts second one can come to some very clear conclusions.
_________________
εσται γαρ καιρος οτε της υγιαινουσης διδασκαλιας
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
