More from Miriam C

“ntm does know, but did nothing! my parents told the mission to remove the couple from NTM or my parents would leave…my parents left the mission….need i say more? they wanted to put me on the stand or meet face to face with the couple. my parents said they would not allow any more hurt seen done to me. i was sexually abused when i was 11 and my parents only found out when i was 19 because the dorm dad had some sorta breakdown and started talking a little too much….next thing you know the president of NTM is knocking at our door….that’s when my parents found out. i have never seen my father sob the way he did. and never the less the couple is still being “good ole missionaries”.

i suffered from other abuses since the moment i went to FANDA, i was 8! how can a dorm parent say to an 8 year old child who is crying for she misses her mother and father, “do you know why your parents sent you here? because you are only in their way. so stop crying cuz it wont do you any good” for years i thought i was a burden to my parents and they didn’t want me home. it took me 13 years to build a trusting relationship with them and understand that they truly loved me. and all along i had believed a lie that satan told!the stories could go on and on… i could never go to a Fanda reunion, or join a Fanda club on facebook because it would only bring back awful memories that i worked so hard on letting go and not allowing the grudges to eat away at me.

however i do remember one conference where the comittee apologized for what once happened to some girls. but never have they recognized all of their other mistakes in the lack of judgement or even reinforcing a torpid spirituality and therefore painting in every child’s mind an awful image of a LOVING GOD AND FATHER.i think that is my biggest disapointment with NTM, it was just a big hypocritical mission who spiritualized their way out of everything.  i think what damaged me the most is that while my dorm dad touched me inapropriately he kept saying that i was sinning and i needed to repent cuz God would not forgive otherwise. i mean seriously that messes up any child in so many levels…unimaginable.  all i know is that i was the ONLY ONE he would take into his room “to have a talk”. i don’t know if it was because i was brasilian but he would take me in there and keep me there sometimes all during siesta time. talking about God and sin, and how i needed to change and everything i was doing wrong and all along touching and caressing me. sometimes he would lock the door…other times his wife would come in to listen. i remember one day i was sooooo angry, when he let me out of the room i ran to my bed and sobbed in anger. his wife ran after me and yelling at the top of hur lungs said “if your cry is not of repentence you better stop crying now, for God only hears when you are repenting.” i know that for the time they were there i had one asthma attack after another, all emotional trauma. i never saw another girl in that room cuz he took me almost everyday.”

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