MK forum

Thanks for the encouragement. I think the biggest hurdle is the first post, so hopefully now that I’ve done that I won’t run away from here too soon.

Having spent so many years downplaying all that occurred in my upbringing in order to get through it, it’s both a weight lifted and a new burden to bring up so many memories that I had pushed to the back of my mind. I am grateful for a group of people – this forum – that makes me feel like I’m not alone. It still is a funny dichotomy (as I’m guessing many of you have struggled with the same thing) in that I’m exhilarated in finding a group of people to relate to here but then still throwing up my defenses quickly since I spent years essentially hiding this part of me from all but a few individuals.

Sherpa Dude, I will try to formulate my story into thoughts and words, although it won’t be done overnight. I really do appreciate the encouragement after finally taking the plunge into the river of this forum. It’s always a lot easier to just watch from the bank but great to have support from others here so my head didn’t go under the water when I jumped in. In retrospect, I should have thought to put on some web-based arm floaties and an innertube before posting to make sure I didn’t sink. …Speaking of flotation devices, that reminds me of innertubing down the Tambo river when it was in turbion after a storm. Fun, and sometimes scary, times.

Sing praise! Sing praise!
Chaski what was your era if you don't mind saying.

I graduated in the 90's from Tambo

I was there for that, and it was indeed heartbreaking. The student died from a pulmonary aneurysm. We students had to help take turns giving CPR and keeping his body warm until a flight came in. There were three deaths in three years - two students and a teacher - that devastated the school. Several of the Tambo staff tried to provide listening ears. However, looking back I wished there had been grief counseling provided since I think many of the staff were struggling just as much as the students were which put them in a tremendously difficult place to provide support. When I returned to the US I realized how many repressed (and non-repressed) issues I still had relating to all that trauma and went to counseling for a while to talk through it. I do feel horribly for everyone who had to deal with everything at Tambo relating to those events alone, not even considering the other issues discussed on these forums. It was enough to spin many students into depression, something I both experienced and witnessed.

But just think of the different people that are your 'friends' Most have never been out of the State or States, Never saw or felt the tropical Rains. Never caught a fish over 1 or 2 pounds. Tasted jochi. hunted with bow and arrow made of palm tree and bamboo flowers. Never had the delicious (but probably full of germs) cancha food! Eaten a 3 course meal for a dollar and cotton candy for 4 cents. Seen tapirs, wild cats, wild pigs, tucans, and on and on that list goes. They've never eaten purple potatoes, chunu, platano, yucu, or hung out of a bus window for a paper holding that large kernal corn and meat. Saltanas, empanadas, climbed to the scar, walked to White Mountain. I'm thinking that We need a thread of things that we liked to offset some of the 'ugliness, pain and agony' Floating down the river on an overturned, dugout canoe. Learning to sew on a hand cranked sewing machine, living with no electricity, no running water, no frig and washing clothes by hand. We had family night every week where we baked something special on our kerosene wick stove with the oven sitting on top and making a "bug proof' room (wish they knew that) so we could read as a family every night. Oh those Danny Olsen and Louis L'Amour Books. Those are all things that no one can take back. Sometimes when the bad things start to crowd in...I have to think of the blessing that were also mine that most have only heard of or read in books and can't believe that there are still people "That live like that!"

Thanks, Deb! So positive and so true! There were some precious times, too.

How are you Tamboites doing? I know it must be hard with SD not posting . . .I hope you don't feel alone. Chaski? Others?

To all my Tambo, Senegal, Panama, Brazilian friends and anyone else that knows us. Remember my family today,,,my girls, my in-laws and me. 19 years ago this morning I got the dreaded phone call saying that we had just lost my husband, My soulmate, my girls' father and Amstutz's son while he was helping the sheriff's department. The pain really never goes away. It would be nice for him to be here to help me through the darkness of the investigation and to have helped my girls through the investigation of Fanda. But then again, my girls were glad that he never knew.

He was also a MK and the best man anyone would ever want to meet. He is missed dearly.

Sending you a big hug today ... your pain grips my heart ... there are no words to tell you how much I care about ALL the pain, loss, and shattered dreams you have endured. You are a true survivor.