Hey Paul, you have it easy compared to me. You see, you're of similar faith to almost everyone else here, except me. I'm the odd one out, because I'm an Agnostic (but a nice Sympathetic Agnostic).
Now being a person of failed faith, in a sea of dedicated Christians can be pretty uncomfortable, but I cope and apart from the occasional meltdown, I survive
It's taken some a bit of time to get their head round why an MK would post so much and have such hopeless doubts about his faith. But I must say that I have been well accepted and even appreciated as I ramble on in my Agnostic state. Of course I'm under no illusion that some see me as a whole mission field in itself and are regularly on bended knee interceding that I'll get my act together and get back into the fold.
But like you, I find myself on a different path to most here. It's not a path that most here would ever wish to be on, but for the time being it is the right one for me, just like being in NTM is the right path for you.
I admire your courage for coming on this site, just like Mrs Bemused admires my courage for going way out of my comfort zone and doing what I do.
So my advice is stick around, you probably have more in common with my learned friends than I do, but they graciously accept me warts and all. If you get a bit of a hard time, refer to the "soccer rules" and wave a red card. This is a very long game of soccer, so if you need a breather, we understand. I've thrown my toys out of the cot once or twice (but I'm allowed to because I ain't no Saint

), but I eventually get my act together and get back on the field.
And if you do feel totally out of place, then spare a thought for the poor Sympathetic Agnostic MK from somewhere way South of Mexico and West of Hawaii . . . .