MK forum

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Written by Iwillflyagain!

We all move at our own rate, Iwillflyagain!
And I am sure that you will, indeed, do what your name says.
It took us some time....
We had to process the deception
And the control
And the lack of care and compassion
Even the lack of integrity
That we experienced.
This was after YEARS of being with ntm.
So don't give up!
Yes, it helps us all to know what you went through.
And to be able to encourage you in some way.
And to wait for good results.........
And we are good at waiting.

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Written by Iwillflyagain!

Lack of accountability is one reason the leaders can have so much control. While I was serving with Ntm I wrote the Executive committee asking if all fields were the same as the one I was working on. The field committee leaders never came up for review to see if the field felt they should continue serving in leadership. Their term of leadership never ended unless they left the field or died I guess. Some of them had been leaders for decades with no real responsibility to anyone. I also had several missionary women, both married and single, tell me they didn't feel free to express opinions to the field committee as they weren't taken seriously. So I wrote to EC in Sanford asking why this was allowed to happen on the field I was serving on. Needless to say, I was outraged when the executive committee emailed me back with a CC of the email to the field committee of the country I was working in. They had also emailed my original complaint to the field committee. Two things. One, I no longer had confidence in any of the leadership of Ntm. Secondly, I was never treated the same by the field committee. Even with my final interview when I was leaving that field, I disagreed with the final report they drew up as to why I left the field. I pointed out the discrepancies and was assured they would change it. But instead , while home in the states, I received the exact same report emailed to me and HQ. And by the way, I had stated I never wanted to meet with only one of the field leaders at a time and as a final slap in the face, my last interview was with just one leader. The months preceding my departure from that field, I heard three different people, all new ones to the field, tell me, " well the field committee said God's will for me is to go to such and such a place so that is where I am going." Since when can ANYONE? sense God's Spirit's leading and direction for my life?? Also before I left that field I received an email sent to our whole field saying that God no longer desired for one of the couples to serve in the village and so the field committee was basically kicking them out. I remember that day exactly when I read that email as I knew how that couple must feel and went to their village with my friend to cry and talk with them. This was just two months after I had an emotional crisis that almost led to a nervous breakdown. A counselor with another mission told me to leave that field asap as the leaders had no respect for me. When the field leaders caught wind that I had suffered and talked to a counselor about them they told me he only heard my side of the story and the one leader laughed saying, "Oh I hear we almost gave you a nervous breakdown." The leaders were never approachable which to me makes clear that they were not looking to God's Spirit to lead.

Alas this is a tactic used by NTM. It is called blackmail. I wrote to Sanford when I found out that the PNG leadereship had confiscated my parents house. They didn't write back to me, they wrote to my parents and threatened them with retaliation if they didn't essentially disown me. I was well and truly an adult.
However on the upside of this, sometimes it pays to play the other side at their own game. My parents did get a payout, because NTM didn't want me to carry out my threat of exposing what I knew of their sordid past. The ironic thing is that was decades before I even knew how much of a sordid past they did have, I was just going on a gut feeling based on tid bits of info and personal experience. Now my eyes are wide opened.

And this is why it is hard for many of us to take NTM seriously, because their track record is as above.

You are not alone, NowAware.
So many have experienced this same treatment
Thinking they must be the only ones.
You are important as a person
And what you think DOES matter.
God did alot of rebuilding in our lives.
Others can heal in other ways, but that's how it was for us.
We had to throw out the lies........

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Written by Iwillflyagain!

Oh, that is so sad, Iwillflyagain, about your last words with your Grandfather. NTM took a lot from you ... including your closeness with him. My own parents expressed deep disappointment in me for leaving NTM, and their disappointment stung me deeply. Now enough time has past that I think they've (mostly?) gotten past it, but it took a lot of time. And that is something you didn't have, with your Grandfather. I am truly sad for you.

Oh dear. I feel for you Iwillflyagain. That is tough stuff. With my folks I am stuck in the "if you don't go back to church you'll go to hell" phase. We have been stuck there for a long time. Even though I am an adult with kids of my own it really hurts to know that I am a real disappointment to my parents. I have found trying to live with and accept this pretty hard. But I can't be what/who they want. Still hurts, cause I love them I guess. Part of why I log in here is to remind myself that I am not alone with such problems. That does help.