MK forum

Oh, Shary, this is difficult!
I am thankful for what you have explained--here and at other times.
It really makes sense that the trigger is going to go off
No matter what you learn as an adult.
It must help you to at least KNOW what is going on.
Thanks for explaining.

I don't mean that that topic is tied up in a nice bow now
Because you wrote that.
It makes me sad to learn more.
And I know I don't get it like you do.
But I care.

It is not that all should do this or that. It is that you have to be in control of what you do with forgiveness or anything else. I try to accept people where they are. Some with their heads in the sand I have trouble not want to yank them out of the sand. Most often I write about what I have discovered for myself. Sometimes it is so exciting I want everyone to experience it. Then later I my totally change there is no counting how many times I have changed my mind about the healing from abuse in the last 30 years. But it is a journey, what helps one day will not help tomorrow. But I so appreciate all on FE who listen and comment and the humor.

The Aritao, Philippines section here has been quiet for a long, long time.

Update (?): Les Emory, the pedophile who left many lives and many families shattered, still walks around a living, breathing free man in Virginia.

Efforts were made to get the FBI to do something. That effort ended in failure.

A longer, more in-depth effort was made by DHS/ICE to investigate the case and bring about some justice. A number of victim/survivors courageously participated in this effort.

That attempt also ended in failure, because the crimes committed overseas by Leslie Emory were committed prior to the passing of the Protect Act, so technically, as far as the US government is concerned, no crime was committed by this US citizen who raped, sodomized and molested other US citizens who were innocent minors overseas.

The investigators were unable to find any Emory victims who were molested or assaulted in the USA, so this effort also ended in futility.

Recently I attended a conference where a law enforcement person described how he interviewed a child victim of a sex crime, using a new method he is developing which has been more successful than other methods of interviewing child victims.

The child was 6 years old. Just like my child was when Les preyed on her.

The abuse occurred in a foreign country. Just like Les Emory's crimes did.

With the information this investigator was able to get from the child, the American perpetrator was sentenced to 52 years in prison.

And that's when I lost it. I dissolved in hot, angry tears. Tears at my powerlessness. Tears at the failure of my efforts to bring about some justice for the Aritao MKs, and see Les Emory spend his remaining years in prison.

Because THAT is what he deserves. And it is NOT RIGHT!! I feel so let down by my own government!! If one man who hurt a child overseas deserves 52 years in prison, then so does another! The reality that because a few decades separates those crimes there is NOTHING that can be done just INFURIATES me!!

And so I cried. Really hard.

And now I'm crying again.

A very kind friend who knows about my anger and anguish wrote this poem for me and gave me permission to post it here:


Lord, grant me the right to be angry

Against those who have had their evil way

Who've taken those who matter most

Used them and thrown them away


Set me free from layered guilt

That simmers deep within

Let me let it out in angry burst

At those who on innocents did prey


Let me turn upon those

Who demand forgiveness as a right

Who cover up the evil of their brothers

And hide it from truthful light


Allow me to judge those

Who render not unto the Caesar of the law

They that they do embrace

And close eyes at evil for ever more


Lord let me take up the whip of anger

To cleanse the temple of my mind

So I might feel a little whole again

And Your peace to have and find

I think I recognize the poetry of that friend.

I am very sorry, Raz.
It must have been just horrible for you!
And, yes, it is SO unjust.
You had courage to share it here.
Who can say that this is not unjust??????
What kind of a thinking person would be able to condone this???
Or even stand for it???
Woe to you, ntm, for not taking care of this at the moment.
And for letting it go on and on for decades
To preserve your image.
What image?

And to think, if NTM/Ethnos360 had just done the right thing all those years ago, there would be a whole lot less activity in all of these forums. I'm not sure how they can live with themselves (except by constantly reminding themselves, "The end justifies any means.") May they get at least some of the sorrow and anguish that they have heaped on others. (What I really want to say is much more offensive, but I'll hold my tongue in this forum.)