Funny thing happened today, o.k. lets start at the beginning.
Mrs Bemused decided it would be a good idea if we both got fit i.e. we both joined a programme that took us from being couch potatoes to running 5 km non stop in 8 weeks. Now I realise you have looked at Bemused's avatar and thought, "blimey he is fit, riding a bike at his age", which is true, but riding a bike and running uses different muscles and when you want a rest from pedaling you just coast along, the same don't happen in running.
So this decrepit old bod got signed up and by some miracle, despite various injuries to his ageing bones and muscles, got through the course and managed the 5 km run yesterday, in not a bad time.
Today we had the debrief, where we sat in a circle and talked about how we felt and I found that more uncomfortable than actually running. But Bemused, I hear you say, you write endlessly about all sorts of things. That is true, but I'm sitting at a computer, behind an anonymous (well sort of anonymous, my identity is hardly top secret
) nom de plume. But having to sit round in a circle and watch as it closer to my turn to speak was nerve racking, because it took me back to a childhood with unpleasant memories in such a situation. And even though this time the group was talking about positive experiences, congratulating and encouraging each other, I flashed back to when it was the total opposite and as the kid who didn't fit in I had to sit there and endure the ridicule of others who had no idea that over 30 years latter this would still be raising it's ugly head.
So I stammered out a few words, drenched in sweat, envious at the verbal eloquence of Mrs Bemused and the others. Oh well at least they didn't burst out crying or want a group hug, that would have had me out of there faster than greased lightening. Yep that's a bit of a fear too. And despite being a nurse for 30 years and seeing more death, suffering, tears and grief than most people have seen hot dinners, when I'm out of uniform I still find it hard to handle.
And in some ways that is why I try and get people to laugh, then they don't want to hug me and they are too preoccupied to need the box of tissues.
So Mrs Bemused is going to sign up for the 10km running programme and I am going back to cycling with the dog and just running 5km .