MK forum

I will never understand the apathy.

NEVER.

For almost 50 years I was closely connected to this mission organization called New Tribes Mission. First as the child of missionaries, and then as a missionary myself.

Many of us went to sacrificial extremes to bring the message of God's love to people who had never heard how much he cared about them. I thought we were motivated by a) taking Jesus' words seriously. Words like "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel." and b) a deep compassion for people who were needy, neglected, isolated and unreached.

I will never, ever comprehend how people who profess to care so much, actually care so little. About the words of our Savior who showed such a deep concern about child abuse that he actually said it would have been better if child abusers had not been born, and they should have millstones tied around their necks and be thrown into the sea. And I will never understand how little they care about the needs of hundreds of wounded MKs scattered all over the world who are the collateral damage of their crusade to reach the lost. Some of these children are now adults who are needy, neglected, isolated and unreached. And they don't care.

I have talked an MK back from the ledge so to speak, when she was about to give up and kill herself to end the intolerable anguish she has endured for over 50 years. I have communicated with one of the multiple personalities of an MK who suffers from a terrifying mental illness because of abuse she endured in one of NTM's training centers. I have shed tears for an MK who tells me that repeatedly in her lifetime her parents have chosen NTM instead of choosing her, and are still doing so to this day. I have heard from MKs who basically spit with disdain on their parents' faith, because their own life experience has made that faith feel empty and soulless. I know MKs who have tried to make their voices heard, and have been ignored. I also know MKs who have run far, far from any connection with anyone remotely connected with NTM, because of their great, unaddressed, unhealed pain.

Story after story. Horror after horror. Neglect, abandonment, cruelty, abuse, rape and murder. Cheating, lying, unfaithfulness, hypocrisy, deception, evasion and manipulation.

Day after day, night after night, this has been my burden. My mission. My ministry.

And WHO CARES????

I have grieved so deeply, for so long. I grieve for all the innocence lost. For all the trust betrayed. For all the tears ignored. For all the cries unheard and pleas disregarded.

I grieve over the sense that I have that so few parents are willing to walk the hard road of repentance and enlightenment. To own up to our failures. We failed our children. We failed our God. I grieve because I see so many parents running away from that path, and instead choosing self-preservation, self righteousness, self service, self economic survival. Choosing their own needs over the children's needs. How can this be???

I grieve the loss of credibility, my loss of faith in an organization that I so long thought stood for compassion, hope, grace, mercy. The way of the Cross.

I grieve because I just don't understand. I don't understand the denial, the apathy, the hostility toward those of us who can't stop caring about the children.

It's about the children, people!! Oh, I'm crying now. My anger and frustration over this apathy just eats me up.

I have run out of words. But the tears are still coming.

It's heart-wrenching, Raz!
I am reaching out to you and saying THANK YOU.
And to all those who do care, I say, YOU ARE SO NEEDED.

We do have one example of someone who repented:

1/17/2010 Chris Horgan on About (comments)
I read this blog and know it is all true.
It was my experience too.
I left ntm in January 1992. Even today the shame I feel at allowing myself to be part of an organisation that is as controlling and abusive as ntm is haunts me.
I was told the ntm leadership were the holy spirit in my life, amongst many other things.
I was part of the leadership and a committee member in Australia. After I left I found as many people who suffered under ntm when I was a part of it, whether they were still members or not, and asked their forgiveness for my actions.
I know of people that have ended their lives, and some that have tried. I know of people who are so damaged by their experience they cannot speak of it. I know of people who cannot return to their faith.
This is not a christian experience.

I have tried to read every comment on the blog and forum and I must have missed that one. Thank you for putting it before us as it does give us some hope. Full stop.

Bless you, Pamela!
You are involved elsewhere too.
This is one of the most encouraging posts on the main page.
If so many others would do this same thing!
What a day that would be.......

I suspect that there has been some sort of communication from NTM-USA and it's international subsidiaries to all current members to not discuss this issue with anyone, especially not anyone in any way associated with this site.

And I'm pretty sure that both NTM-USA and it's members would deny that is the case. But I can think of no other reason for the nearly complete stonewalling on this subject.

I'm sure that NTM-USA legal counsel is afraid that any communications on this topic will come back to bite them in some way. They've already had to settle one lawsuit, and another one is working its way through the courts. The potential liability is huge.

But I don't think that most of us here are looking for legal or financial settlements. I think what we really want to see is an admission of the truth, the public identification of the guilty, and a true apology to the many wounded MKs, along with some effective action to remedy the situation.

JerryB, I have suspected the same thing.

But surely NTM leadership doesn't have THAT much control over their members.

And surely NTM members would not allow themselves to be that strictly controlled by their leaders, that they don't even have their own voice and the ability to use it.

No, wait ....

I can't reliably comment on what Sanford is up to. I will be fair and say that I have two contacts well up in NTM, one has bent over backwards to help me at some personal cost and this deserves credit.

However I will make no secret of my dealings with Crossview Australia (formerly NTM Australia). Since October I have had not one reply from a staff member, despite many e-mail inquiries.
Remember that it was Australia who suppressed all details of the convicted paedophile, (we were told he had a mental breakdown to explain his absence). I have repeatedly asked why this was done (it has implications for other MKs and their families, being in close proximity with someone who was jailed for sex offending) and who did it. The only reply I had was from a U.S. citizen, who was downunder for most of his NTM career, but he couldn't shed any light on the matter.
I personally have just had the one reply to the 29 e-mails sent to Australian personel, that I find interesting and disturbing.

P.s. Ooops sorry forgot to say, nice piece of writing Raz. I too can't get my head round the apathy. These are people we grew up with, we called Uncle and Aunty, who often we were closer to than our real Uncles and Aunts, yet so many don't want to know or just don't care. Why?

A great post from a great heart, Raz. Thanks for caring about the abused MKs. The apathy isn't just from the missionaries, it's from the MKs too. I don't get it either. For many I think it's easier just not to know...