It's a lovely day for the first game of the season:
Yes welcome to the soccer grounds folks, todays featured match is NTM versus the Fanda Eagles and here come the teams now. Yes it’s the NTM team on the field first, what a lovely sight, perfectly matched sanatized uniforms, all looking exactly the same and there is the captain, number 666. They’re all smiling and waving to the crowd, asking for donations for their team, what a lovely sight. And here comes the Fanda Eagles team, oh dear, what have we here. What a contrast folks, what exactly are they wearing? Oh dear obviously this lot are on a tight budget. Hang on, Fanda Eagles is singing a song, yes it’s a well known tune, but strange words, obviously some comedian dreamt that lot up.
Right here we go, kick off by NTM and the ball is deep into Fanda Eagles territory. Nice foot work there by Dalai Lama, a little tap up to Raz and then on to the wing where Mosquito is buzzing to go. Hang on there’s a player with a chainsaw, oh this could be nasty, the ref is going to have a word! Just a few moments folks and we’ll be back.
Thanks for hanging in there, bit of a tense drama here folks, but all settled on the Fanda Eagles team, bit of a language misunderstanding. Pamela has settled the chainsaw incident and Aussie is ready to go again. It’s a Long pass to Gene, then up to Iron Man and Amazon Man who is not quite sure what to do with the ball. Oh dear the ball is with two of the most ardent NTM defenders, but wait they’ve accidently allowed Jim and Les on the field and NTM have just scored an own goal. The ref is looking at the video clip of Les, he’s not happy about what he’s seen, but NTM is protesting, saying it is not admissible evidence. It’s getting nasty here folks, the ref is taking a real earful from NTM, yes this could be off to court, the lawyers have been called in and NTM has lots of Doe.
Meanwhile the Fanda Eagles are getting frustrated with NTMs delaying tactics and they’ve brought on their substitute on, Bemused. The linesman is just having a word to Bemused about bringing his dog and bike on to the field, no its all sorted and the ball is back in play. Here we go again, no we don’t. NTM has pulled out a new rule book and they are talking to the ref, oh this is taking forever, the Fanda Eagles team is getting impatient.
Oh it’s half time, refreshments all round and look at the Fanda Eagles team running for the bar, while NTM is working the crowd and passing the donation bucket around..
We’ll be taking a short break, but will be back for the second half shortly. This is your commentator I. C. Itall signing off.