MK forum

Bemused (and Aussie), I was there with you. I just kept rolling with the punches and made it through. Knew how to play the game by the time I reached junior high/high school. So many things were so wrong. I've recently heard of two others who were also told they would never succeed by the same person that told you that. So many rules, so much fear. I'm thankful you managed to leave it all behind and go on. I basically pushed it all down, pretended everything was fine, did not face reality, and have had to deal with symptoms in the last few years that eventually emerged - has to come out some time! This forum is one of the things that forced me to face reality...so much better since I did face it for what it was. I don't have to be ruled by that any more.

Something someone wrote on the "about" page of the main website, which I can identify with:
"I was an MK and grew up at boarding school. For the last five years I have been plodding through a process of healing, step by step, which has been addressing my issues of abandonment. My emotions were dysfunctional, my anxiety was out of control, my loneliness was always there even when I was surrounded by people, I never felt equal to my peers, I had a lot of anxiety when I had to discipline my kids, I was overprotective of them, I lacked emotional intimacy with my husband…it felt like post traumatic stress, like scabs had been ripped off, revealing carefully hidden sores that I began to clean out. I was still wearing a “coat” in the summer which I had put on in the “winter” at the boarding school and it was hampering my relationships and joy. I read the book Changes that Heal and it changed my life. It helped my find the underlying issues that were causing all the symptoms in my life. As I became aware of them, my eyes were opened to the fact that my perceptions were distorted by coping mechanisms from the past. It taught me how bonding (we went to boarding school from first grade on…), boundaries, separation of good and bad, and growing into adulthood with internal permission to disagree…had “gone into hiding” when I was young and I delayed my development in these areas because it wasn’t safe. Now it was not too late at the age of 49 to bring these areas of development into the light and to nurture each area until they came out of hiding and bloomed to maturity. They are not mature yet, but I have come far enough to experience the light at the end of the tunnel..."

[quote="Aghast"]Bemused (and Aussie), I was there with you. I just kept rolling with the punches and made it through. Knew how to play the game by the time I reached junior high/high school. So many things were so wrong. I've recently heard of two others who were also told they would never succeed by the same person that told you that. So many rules, so much fear. I'm thankful you managed to leave it all behind and go on. I basically pushed it all down, pretended everything was fine, did not face reality, and have had to deal with symptoms in the last few years that eventually emerged - has to come out some time! This forum is one of the things that forced me to face reality...so much better since I did face it for what it was. I don't have to be ruled by that any more.

I apologise if you can remember me , back to the therapy couch ay???? I thought I was the only one to be told that I would not succeed, now there were others, that makes me feel quite vindicated, thank you for that. Agree entirely, about playing the game. If one said the right things life was much easier, kissing backsides was an art.
I pinch myself everyday, because I survived and life got better. Now I live in a nice part of the world, with some genuine friends and a fantastic partner who has helped tidy up the loose ends in my head. And every so often I say, "Jim you were so wrong, I didn't fail" as I listen to music I like, without feeling guilty.
Like one of our Fanda colleagues, I'd like to go back to Numonohi one more time, stand in the middle of the sports field and shout "I'M FREE".
It's taken 30 years to put the last remaining pieces in the jigsaw. NTM may never get what they deserve, but I got what I did, I'm at last totally vindicated, it wasn't a FIGMENT OF MY IMMAGINATION. (Dad if you are reading this, you lied to me for 30 years about this and now everyone knows you did). I hope others can reach this point too and if in some small way I can help, you know where to find me. Nice chatting, I do appreciate it.

Right back to my Elton John, Cat Stevens and (shock horror) Queen cds.

Bemused, so with you there with the Queen tunes! It's so nice that you can't listen to them backwards just to make sure they are not backmasked!

"I thought I was the only one to be told that I would not succeed, now there were others, that makes me feel quite vindicated, thank you for that." (Bemused)

There is something very healing about knowing you aren't the only one! That's why we need to break the silence - so others can heal by knowing they aren't alone, it wasn't their fault...

Just wondering was this problem (being told one wouldn't succeed) limited to PNG and one Princiapal in particular, or is this a widespread. I've had a few kind messages from other members of this site, which would indicate that it was a regularly used technique in PNG.

Bemused B.C.S., M.D., Hons, PHD and all round nice bloke.

Sounds like YOU DID IT, Bemused!
YAY!
YOU TOO, Yunker.
So what you were told was a lie.
Wish you had known that then.
BUT YOU DO NOW.