MK forum

MrsM you are so correct why should we expect a Christian organization to be more accountable than business organizations. But in my many years contact with Christian businesses I have found that Christian can either be known for their uprightness and honesty, or just the opposite. When many Christians deal with Christians they feel they don't have to be "Christian" in their dealings. I have been in a number of towns where the Pastors were known for not paying their bills. There seems to be an attitude that since we are children of the King, or royalty we can do as we please, if we happen to sin we just ask for forgiveness. What NTM and C&MA and GMU and other missions have done in covering up abuse is not surprising seeing this attitude in not uncommon in the church.

We need to start holding each other, Christian businesses and Christian organizations responsible to act in a God honoring way. If we could hear some sermons on how differently a Christians daily interactions with others should be it might help.

“Bodily temperaments have a common course and rule which imperceptibly affect our will. They advance in combination, and successively exercise a secret empire over us, so that, without our perceiving it, they become a great part of all our actions.”

François de la Rochefoucauld

“All feelings have their peculiar tone of voice, gestures and looks, and this harmony, as
it is good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, makes people agreeable or
disagreeable.” François de la Rochefoucauld

So, to get back to the topic of this thread. . .

I count myself among those who have an unfortunate tendency to say the wrong thing at the right time, to find it hard to choose just the right words, easy to choose the wrong ones, however hard I try. So, I am not without sympathy with others who share this misfortune.

But, why is this sort of advice the first thing out of their mouth? Let us grant their sincerity, their honesty, their concern. We can surely grant that they intended no harm. So, why have they chosen to accentuate this particular need, this particular concern?

Gene, do you mean the authors of this letter wrote this letter suggesting the abused person needs to forgive (and not get drug down by all the talk on this website) ... so that less abuse will be exposed and more will be covered up? I don't know the writers intentions. I do know that would have been a normal thought and attitude when I was growing on the field. It was all on the victim to forgive and carry the guilt. But where was the justice and help for the victims? What an emotional burden the victims carried, besides carrying the abuse that happened to them. Tragic. I know some "Tribers" who do not have this attitude now, and I believe there has been a huge attitude change among those I know and have heard from, but can't speak for all.

Unfortunately, the rest of that letter, which I couldn't post, was spent in listing to the victim, all the people she had forgiven in the past. It came through very self-righteous, and condescending, certainly, making the victim feel humiliated and deeply hurt. I don't know the writer's motives, of course, but, obviously, she had little compassion for the victim and plenty for the abuser.

It is appalling to me that within just a few weeks after learning that a co-worker I trusted (and liked!) had violated my daughters at the innocent ages of 11 and 6, I was already hearing this line from people I thought were my friends: "You just need to forgive."

I think that's "Christian talk" for "Shut up. I don't want to hear about it."

Raz, I read your story and can't tell you how sorry I am, how you and your daughters have suffered so much because of this vile, evil man---then to have nothing done about it by NTM!!! There are no words to describe your hurt. I am glad you were able to set yourself free from the chains this man had bound you with, by forgiving him and "letting him sink"........as you so creatively put it!

You are right about "Christian talk," being, they just want you to shut up! I have never been abused but a close member of my family was, and while there was some strong support, there also were others who just thought it was about forgiving the offender, and "please be quiet about it, put it behind you." Easy to say, if you've never walked in their shoes.

God bless you and your daughters, and I trust the rest of your lives will be victorious and rejoicing in the Lord!