MK forum

MK Survivors,

Those who were abused know firsthand of the pain, the false guilt, the self-doubt and the anger that can be so pervasive in your lives. Through stories and testimonies, I’m learning of it.

It horrifies me that people can abuse kids, justify it and still live with themselves.

I’m amazed that kids can endure such pain and betrayal and still go on with life and then I realize that not all of them have gone on with life. Some abused kids have taken their own lives or have resorted to things that are slowly killing them in order to mask their pain.

I’m more amazed when I see that many have found ways of coping and are leading more normal lives.

But all abused kids carry the effects of abuse with them for the rest of their lives. It will affect them, their parents and their own children. It is not something that can ever be put behind them and forgotten. Effects of that abuse can be dealt with and sometimes issues can be resolved. Often God, true to His word turns these weaknesses into strengths. But the abuse will never be forgotten.

I’ve come to understand that people who haven’t had to bear such deep pain have trouble understanding the reactions of those who have. For some who don’t understand, listening to the cries of the abused is probably just an annoyance to them. But for many others who haven’t had to bear such deep pain themselves, I suspect that understanding it is just beyond what they are capable of. And because they don’t know how to deal with it, they default to what they believe to be true, and that is to encourage the abused to “just forgive and move on.”

What happened to kids isn’t right and won’t ever be right and nothing can ever justify abuse. I’ve come to believe that New Tribes Mission, in fact all organizations in which childhood abuse occurred, has no right to ask for forgiveness. The fact is that NTM is not a person and isn’t capable of receiving forgiveness if it was even offered. But it is also a fact that in NTM there were those, some in leadership and some not, who wanted the issue to go away and who desperately wanted victims to extend forgiveness to the organization so that the issue could be locked away and forgotten. But it can never be forgotten by the victims of abuse or NTM.

The people who haven’t dealt with such pain and are incapable of knowing how to deal with it are often puzzled when victims of abuse react so strongly and so negatively when the issue of forgiveness comes up. In the documentary All God’s Children, abuse survivor Beverly Shellrude Thompson explained it this way,

It’s not that victims are against forgiveness. Victims are against forgiveness as the solution to the problem because then the problem will go on and on and on and as long as every victim continues to give forgiveness, the organization doesn’t have to address the issues.

Is there a “solution” of the kind that Ms. Thompson is looking for? For the future there is. NTM has to be an organization that doesn’t tolerate abuse, screens out potential abusers from entering NTM and safeguards the children in our care. But that’s only part of it. We also need a “response” to what’s gone before. The Vianopolis investigation is concluding and a Statement of Findings is expected in March. The Panama investigation is proceeding and should be completed by late summer. And then there’s Tambo. That investigation is huge and will continue for two to three years. But it doesn’t matter if an investigation is small or large, every abused child is one child too many. Also, if any of you know of abuse that happened outside of the stated years of each investigation, please contact Pat Hendrix. Don’t leave any stone unturned.

A key part of our response is to uncover the truth. There might be those in mission circles who claim that these on-going investigations hurt or profane the name of God. That isn’t true. God’s name was profaned every time any kid was abused. God’s name was profaned every time evil wasn’t dealt with appropriately by those who had the authority to do so. Not proceeding with the investigations, not trying to uncover truth, not admitting what happened and not dealing with perpetrators the best we can – those are the things that profane the name of God. I can’t promise that we won’t make mistakes as we continue through this process but we will do what we can. Besides the sickening thought of what abused MKs have endured and still carry around to this day, I am dismayed that most perpetrators will never be brought to trial because of the location where their crimes they committed. Most will escape justice because of how long ago they committed those crimes. I have to admit that NTM bears blame for that also. But wherever prosecution is possible, NTM will cooperate in full, no matter the distance, no matter the time element, no matter the cost.

Finally, I want to again encourage anyone who was abused as an MK and who desires counseling to deal with the effects of that abuse to contact Tibby Westcott at tibby.westcott@ntm.org. We want to help.

Brian Shortmeier
Director of Child Protection
NTM USA Executive Board Member

This amazing letter found its way onto another thread in these forums, but it is so important that I believe it is worthwhile starting a new thread just to give it the attention that it so richly deserves.

I have copied it and pasted it from its other location, making no changes other than double spacing between paragraphs for ease of reading. I originally thought it was the single spacing that made me want to puke as I read it, but the extra space has not really cleared that up. It may well be the content.

What Mr. Shortmeier does not clarify, and what desperately needs clarification, is whether or not he is speaking on behalf of the Executive Board of New Tribes Mission, to whom he is responsible, and who appointed him to his position.

It is not a small fault, but a great and grievous one, that employees of New Tribes Mission often their own minds on subjects that involve others than themselves. This can cause a great deal of confusion and, often, shattered hopes.

Andy Kline once opined in these forums that he would not be surprised if every single school in NTM had to be investigated. He said this in answer to a question posed by a frequent and tenacious poster here as to how many schools NTM knew of that had had credible reports of abuse. (I am paraphrasing the question, but I believe it fairly represents it.)

His answer, of course, was no answer. He could have, and should have, given a number at least. Better yet, he could have offered a list. But, in NTMs haste to be honest and forthright and do their part to clear this all up, he did not. He waffled.

When asked if that waffle represented the official NTM position on the number of schools to be investigated, he again dodged the issue.

Will Mr. Shortmeier do the same? Or, can he be persuaded to tell us whether or not this letter represents what the Executive Board thinks?

It would be so very helpful to have an official statement from NTM....

Personally I'm grateful to get a letter passed on to me. For someone in NTM to put pen to paper is a step in the right direction and from reading the content, it seems the gravity of the ramifications of child abuse on peoples lives is hitting home. Of course they are words and actions will prove the words to be genuine or true one way or the other. But on the considerably worse side of the ledger is Crossview Australia who refuse to reply to any correspondence and make no public statements. Their words mean absolutely nothing, because there are no words, just total silence. Which means they are either a) afraid to speak because they know that there position is undefendable or b) they do not see that there is or has been any sort of problem.

Brian is no fool, he will know that whatever he puts on paper will come back to haunt him if he then does nothing or advocates for action. And credit where credit is due, he has taken the time to write something, which is more than alas some colleagues in NTM have done.

This is a large criminal matter, spanning many decades and many countries, the guilty have the right to remain silent. But silence comes at a price, as do any words or statement issued. The guilty will eventually answer for their crimes, be it in this world or the next. My interest lies in justice in this world, leaving judgement in the next to Another.

Gene if they stay true to history we will never see any real action that changes things. As people we make statements that that we personally believe. But when we get together as group to make an official decision we always think like the monster an organization is. The organization are always self protecting having no moral conscious. Official meeting are dominated by protecting the organization in all official decisions. Examples a church drops missionary support because the church wants to do a building project, that will make the church look better in the eyes of the community. A mission covers for an abuser because he does such great work for God, makes the mission look good, is a good fundraiser. If we are honest we have all been part of this in the organizations we have been in. Therefore we can expect NTM to always at any cost to members to protect itself. And we will see such as Mr. Shortmeier letter from a nice man. We must beware such things, organizations will put nice people out as promoters to deceive the public. We must always think for ourselves so we do not find ourselves being puppet for any organizations we are in.

It is no wonder the US wrongly made organizations people. Organizations get a lot done and we think of them as people because of the people in them who get things done as a group. Because of self preservation organizations have to have strong outside guide lines. They can not be expected to function morally from the inside. Boards will only consider the good of those working in the organizations when the consequences of not doing so will hurt the organization. The organization will do everything to keep itself thriving. The only way to keep an organization from this is to hold those in leadership personally responsible for all decisions the organizations makes. Everyone on a board is responsible for all decisions, the organization can not find a “fall guy”. If all are not held responsible the organization will continue on its destructive path. A monetary fine will not stop the organization unless it is required along with accountability of all the leaders. But it might make some of the leaders notice the problem, or cause the to fold. If the organization has to be dissolved so be it.

When we think of organizations in this way there is no such thing as a Christian organization. Organizations can't be saved, they can't go to hell, though they may be hell for those in it. They can not be lead by the Holy Spirit. A Christian organization is not especially favored by God. God is never on the side of an organization. Just because many people make professions of faith does not mean it is God's blessing, God may save people in spite of them. This is why we see so many churches, para church, and missions groups so far from the teachings of Christ. Yet almost all Christian organizations think they are doing God's work. They have doctrinal statements, policies, constitutions, guidelines to prove how Christian they are. But these are only inside controls which are always weak. So to look good they set up outside organizations, which they still control such as Child Protection. This is why we demand third party investigations. The less connections to organization investigated the better.

It will be a long process to get the organization to see the need to bring in a totally new board and administration. The first thing which the Fanda Eagles have done is to expose the problem, child abuse, abuse of missionaries, and cover ups. Asking for a third party was successful, but other schools by not demanding a third party that is independent of NTM has given NTM the upper hand once again. NTM also did not follow the recommendations in full. All God's Children, and the Mamou steering committee did the same thing, expose and demand an independent third party.

The second is to sue the organization which some have done already which is very hard for the victims to do. The good that this does it to bring the problem out in the open, outside the Christian community. This can cause the supporting churches to start to demand accountability of the mission. It will also cause the organization to realize it is in danger of survival the most important thing for an organization.

The third thing is to demand a new board and administration. This must be done by many people if it is to be successful. A third party temporary board to set up a new board could change the outlook of the organization. Chances of this are very slim. So the third solution may be to dissolve the organization. What would happen to all those in the organization? If Christian the belief that God is in control and will direct will be the answer. God works with individuals not organizations. People can successfully be missionaries while independent.

Bemused I wrote my post without seeing yours. Yes the letter does give a person hope to believe someone is listening. But do you really believe NTM will listen. Maybe Fanda has won someone over to their side but on person defecting at least in word does not mean the battle is over. Hopefully he does really see the truth.

As MKs we were so often manipulated by those in authority. We were lied to, harassed, threatened, expelled, fired, and abused. We want so much to trust our missions they are like family to us. He represents the sibling that says "Yes Dad sexually abused you, but he really loves you, just shows it in a different way." Where as the social worker comes in and takes you out of the home put you if a safe place, and gets the police to come get Dad. Brian Shortmier does not represent NTM.

As an MK at the bottom of the world, who saw and experienced what NTM did to it's minority missionaries and their MKs, I have perhaps a greater reason to distrust NTM than most.
However I do have an acute sense of fairness and as Brian has had the courage to write something of a personal nature then it is my humble opinion that he should receive credit for this.

Do I trust NTM? Why would I, look at my childhood, look at my dealings with Crossview Australia and look at the right wing religous extremist who is my father.

Given that I write a lot of emails to some pretty powerful and influential parties, presenting damning evidence against Crossview because of their lack of moral fibre, I think it only fair to give credit where credit is due. Of course it would be nice if this was NTM official policy, backed up by demonstrative steps, but it is far more genuine reading than the crackpot stuff I endure from those genetically related to myself.

I can't for the life of me figure out how any self respecting person in NTM (or any good person connected with the issue) can read or hear the evidence of the past and not throw their hands up in horror and demand justice. There is something fundamentally wrong with someone who sticks their head in the sand and hopes this all goes away.

If my father had the courage to admit that the past was so very wrong and the damage so very real, like Brian has. I'd be proud of my father.

Ok. Yesterday I posted (on a different thread) about this letter. Since then I have read some very thoughtful posts from Shary and Bemused and others (all way better with words than me).

I want to be fair and acknowledge the points well made by others. So.....I want to thank Brian for putting his name to the letter. He no doubt knew it may end up on this site and be commented on. That (as Bemused rightly says) deserves some credit. So, Brian, thank you for writing the letter and for putting yourself out there in front of others.

However, if NTMs words and actions continue to be mis-matched in 2013 I will reserve the right to deem the letter to be another example of emotional manipulation/abuse of MKs.

Brian I sincerely hope the rest of your colleagues around the NTM leadership table agree with you and that together you can put your words into actions. A great start would be supporting some of those MKs to attend the MKSN conference in April. To me, that would restore some faith (not all, but it would be a good start). I have a lot of other ideas but I am guessing no one in NTM is interested in what I think (CrossView Australia most certainly isn't).

I have read and re-read Brian's most recent letter several times. I have also read all the comments about it.

Here are some of my thoughts as I process this letter:

I see the content of this letter divided into two columns, so to speak. The "this is what I think/feel" and "this is what they think/feel" columns.

Brian signs his letter as the Director of Child Protection and an NTM USA Executive Board Member. However, it appears that much of what he says in the letter is meant to reflect his own personal opinion, not the opinion of the collective Executive Board, or NTM in general.

It is my impression that Brian has made a good-faith effort to understand and empathize with MK victims of abuse. I think in the past couple of years he has learned a lot about what types of abuse have gone on in the mission, where that abuse occurred, what the response of the mission was to that abuse, and what life is like for MK survivors of that abuse.

What I think I am also detecting between the lines of Brian's letter is the indication that not all the members of NTM have the same perspective that Brian has now come to have. Dare I say that probably not even all the members of the EB have the same perspective?

So it appears to me that the letter is almost a coded message (because Brian couldn't just come right out and tell us that most of the mission is not on his wavelength) in which he is saying, in a sense, "THIS is what I have learned and what I now feel, and THIS is what THEY think and feel."

I will illustrate this by highlighting Brian's letter in two different colors. Blue for Brian's personal thoughts, and red for what others apparently think.

***********

MK Survivors,

Those who were abused know firsthand of the pain, the false guilt, the self-doubt and the anger that can be so pervasive in your lives. Through stories and testimonies, I’m learning of it.

It horrifies me that people can abuse kids, justify it and still live with themselves.

I’m amazed that kids can endure such pain and betrayal and still go on with life and then I realize that not all of them have gone on with life. Some abused kids have taken their own lives or have resorted to things that are slowly killing them in order to mask their pain.

I’m more amazed when I see that many have found ways of coping and are leading more normal lives.

But all abused kids carry the effects of abuse with them for the rest of their lives. It will affect them, their parents and their own children. It is not something that can ever be put behind them and forgotten. Effects of that abuse can be dealt with and sometimes issues can be resolved. Often God, true to His word turns these weaknesses into strengths. But the abuse will never be forgotten.

I’ve come to understand that people who haven’t had to bear such deep pain have trouble understanding the reactions of those who have. For some who don’t understand, listening to the cries of the abused is probably just an annoyance to them. But for many others who haven’t had to bear such deep pain themselves, I suspect that understanding it is just beyond what they are capable of. And because they don’t know how to deal with it, they default to what they believe to be true, and that is to encourage the abused to “just forgive and move on.”

What happened to kids isn’t right and won’t ever be right and nothing can ever justify abuse. I’ve come to believe that New Tribes Mission, in fact all organizations in which childhood abuse occurred, has no right to ask for forgiveness. The fact is that NTM is not a person and isn’t capable of receiving forgiveness if it was even offered. But it is also a fact that in NTM there were those, some in leadership and some not, who wanted the issue to go away and who desperately wanted victims to extend forgiveness to the organization so that the issue could be locked away and forgotten. But it can never be forgotten by the victims of abuse or NTM.

The people who haven’t dealt with such pain and are incapable of knowing how to deal with it are often puzzled when victims of abuse react so strongly and so negatively when the issue of forgiveness comes up. In the documentary All God’s Children, abuse survivor Beverly Shellrude Thompson explained it this way, "It’s not that victims are against forgiveness. Victims are against forgiveness as the solution to the problem because then the problem will go on and on and on and as long as every victim continues to give forgiveness, the organization doesn’t have to address the issues."

Is there a “solution” of the kind that Ms. Thompson is looking for? For the future there is. NTM has to be an organization that doesn’t tolerate abuse, screens out potential abusers from entering NTM and safeguards the children in our care. But that’s only part of it. We also need a “response” to what’s gone before. The Vianopolis investigation is concluding and a Statement of Findings is expected in March. The Panama investigation is proceeding and should be completed by late summer. And then there’s Tambo. That investigation is huge and will continue for two to three years. But it doesn’t matter if an investigation is small or large, every abused child is one child too many. Also, if any of you know of abuse that happened outside of the stated years of each investigation, please contact Pat Hendrix. Don’t leave any stone unturned.

A key part of our response is to uncover the truth. There might be those in mission circles who claim that these on-going investigations hurt or profane the name of God. That isn’t true. God’s name was profaned every time any kid was abused. God’s name was profaned every time evil wasn’t dealt with appropriately by those who had the authority to do so. Not proceeding with the investigations, not trying to uncover truth, not admitting what happened and not dealing with perpetrators the best we can – those are the things that profane the name of God. I can’t promise that we won’t make mistakes as we continue through this process but we will do what we can. Besides the sickening thought of what abused MKs have endured and still carry around to this day, I am dismayed that most perpetrators will never be brought to trial because of the location where their crimes they committed. Most will escape justice because of how long ago they committed those crimes. I have to admit that NTM bears blame for that also. But wherever prosecution is possible, NTM will cooperate in full, no matter the distance, no matter the time element, no matter the cost.

Finally, I want to again encourage anyone who was abused as an MK and who desires counseling to deal with the effects of that abuse to contact Tibby Westcott at tibby.westcott@ntm.org. We want to help.

Brian Shortmeier
Director of Child Protection
NTM USA Executive Board Member"

Nicely written and a good assessment of the subject in hand. Many thanks.