MK forum

How did we manage?
Some of it was tucked away as my personal secret that no one must know. Some was hidden lest I get in big trouble. Oh, there also was a strong element of NTM "don't bother the busy parents" crap hanging over us. So heavy, so heavy for 10 year olds. We hushed as we were instructed.
Over and over the covering was laid, until it was so very, very far into the "don't go there" place that it became the new normal.
Until BAM! it exploded! And so now, here I am. Guts spilled, and after extreme anguish of all sorts, I am being healed. Finally. It is a relief, at last. Rescued from the secrets. Secrets are a terrible place to be, but we did it -because we had no other recourse.

rroym, Thank you for your post - it was very helpful to me, just understanding how the same horrific events that we were all aware of have affected me, my siblings, and my friends so so differently. It's actually helpful to hear someone say that we don't all have to have the same reaction, and there is nothing wrong with not be as affected by something as the next person was! I was just talking to someone else, relating how some of us were just glad it wasn't us in there getting the 40 lashes (or more), whereas others of us still have PTSS just from hearing it happen or hearing about it. Also knowing what to look for in a therapist is really helpful. There are so many out there, and some I know whom I wouldn't go to if I was paid to (and it doesn't seem like they had to do much to get their counselling qualifications), so it's hard to know what to look for.

And yes, Highlander, many of us just buried it, thinking it wasn't important, we weren't important (obviously, because we had to be sent away), and we couldn't interrupt God's work because of it. It's been hard to acknowledge the pain that was buried for so long.

Mrs M, I'm so sad for you and your daughter and family! I'm so glad you are able to get help and work through this now.