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MK forum • View topic - PLEASE READ- need input from mks and families

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:13 pm 
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again- apologies for my crude typing... hard with a broken finger. ;)

i have received a few emails from larry brown. i won't share them because i haven't received permission, but i do want to share a snippet of one and ask for input from you mks and families.

this is in response to an email i sent to larry and expressed that many of my mks friends do not feel adequately communicated with or cared for.

"You are correct. We don't know all the people affected by this, so it makes it hard to know how and to whom we should communicate. We are seeking help to get the right people on board that we can free up to connect better. I have really appreciated MK's I have been able to talk with. It's SO good for me to keep listening to them and how all this has affected and is affecting them. It motivates me to stay focused. If you have any ideas of how we can better connect I would love to hear that. We do need help."

i know this is a frustrating and beyond, topic for you all, but if we can do this without ripping apart every word in this snippet, it might be more beneficial. i would love, love, love to communicate straight from the horses' mouths, so to speak.

i alluded to this question in my other thread, but really felt i needed to be more direct in order to hear what you all want said and to communicate that.

i hear, see, feel and am one in your frustrations. let's make the most of this possible opportunity to speak collectively- even if we feel it's already been done.

if you feel inclined and would like to share, please do and if you don't, and you are beyond sharing and beyond disgusted, i understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:29 pm 
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I'm so sorry, MrsM, I know you are wanting helpful responses to this. I am so far beyond frustrated and hurt, that I cannot respond without "ripping", as you say.
So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I guess I will be charitable and control myself.
But I DID read your post!

Raz


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:41 pm 
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Thank you, Raz.

and maybe i don't really mean let's not express our disgust and frustration more than i mean, maybe we could do that in a way that doesn't lose the purpose of the question- for those who want to answer, that is.

i do see your point and after i posted that and had time to think, i realized it may be impossible to answer without disgust and frustration, and that is fine.

and perhaps a compilation of 'disgust and frustration' is as good an answer to larry as any.

my word, it's hard to type with a broken finger. :lol: you never think about these things till it happens to you... (the broken finger, i mean) it about kills me to have to post without punctuation and capitilization and such. it's the proofreader in me. haha


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:49 pm 
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:10 pm 
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i was just coming back here to post the hows and whys of my emails with larry, in case inquiring minds want to know.

and i'll be glad to cc your email, ot.

the 'exchange' began with a 'thank you for the petition' to which i answered with lots of things i wanted to say, to which- to my surprise- larry answered back.

so, i don't want to present like i'm so great, look at me, i got an answer. and i am very willing to use the opportunity to pass on something. but as you all know, larry can read this forum as well if he wants up-to-date info on how the mks are feeling and seeing things.

i plan to answer at any rate with my thoughts and just want to invite any who'd like to say something along as well, though i know you are perfectly capable of doing so yourselves. i guess my initial thought was more one of me saying to larry 'here's what i am hearing' what is your response now and how long can you and NTM's leadership continue to behave as if this isn't being said again and again.

and maybe some of it is for my benefit, that i have the opportunity to say what i need to say to larry, et al, as well.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:09 pm 
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MrsM: I'm not an MK or family of one, though I have many friends who are one or both.

However, I have some ideas that may get NTM communicating more:

-a short update beats no update at all. Even a sentence is something. Don't fail to communicate just because you don't have something huge to report. Communicating often is more important.
-report advances, but also real roadblocks, and possible workarounds
-concise, clear reports with real details void of vague language or what may be perceived as spin.

I'd like to see healing and a lot of good things happen and be able to rejoice with the MKs as things are reported. But this is about your needs, not mine, and I'm praying for the Lord to help NTM see your needs and respond.

Anyway, just to consider, I'm going to leave it at that.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 11:07 pm 
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NTM needs to get real and cut the cute language that is seen as being off-putting by MKs. For example, when will NTM hire a third party credible entity such as Grace to investigate ALL abuse 1) listed on this forum and 2) known to NTM? A date would be fine such as December 1st 2010.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 11:30 pm 
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Self control has never been one of my strengths. I said I wasn't going to say anything, and it still isn't even Thanksgiving day! But I guess I'm going to indulge in some unspiritual and immature venting. As usual, I just can't help myself ...

Larry writes to MrsM:
[i]We don't know all the people affected by this, so it makes it hard to know how and to whom we should communicate.[i]

Seriously? Is that like saying, "We don't know all the people who might be in that burning building, so it makes it hard to know whether we should set off the fire alarm."??

How can this possibly be a valid excuse for not communicating with ANYONE???

How about spreading a REALLY wide blanket, even engaging in some overkill, to make sure you contact everyone who may or may not have a story to tell? Don't tell me you don't have an "alumni list", because I know you do!!! You do your best to keep track of past Tribers, for your own purposes. Use that information to contact everyone who ever was a child in NTM or had a child in NTM!

I'm so livid I'm shaking. This really has me riled up! I am getting so weary and so discouraged.

I sent a long e-mail to the Child Protection Committee on Nov. 3. With my real name, and my real e-mail address. That was 21 days ago. I have yet to get any official reply from the CPC. A short apology written to me by Tibby, under duress after an appeal to her by a mutual friend, does not count as an official reply, in my opinion.

Of course it's a holiday weekend, so I should take that into consideration. And after that, it's going to be a holiday month, so ... silent night, silent day, silent week, silent month....

Oh dear, if I re-read this I may not even submit it ...

Maybe I just need some turkey and pecan pie.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 12:00 am 
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:29 am 
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I am weakening, perhaps.......because I would like to see more action as many of you would. Since I have contemporary evidence of abuse by the so-called "new regime," I am slightly inclined to write to Larry. There are 2 reasons for this. One, of course, is because of the urgency of the crime issue and the lives whom this affects. Secondly---wondering about my sanity---because some of you out there have a measure of confidence in Larry, that he can be trusted.

Problem: In confiding with an authority figure there are several things one really needs to know. The obvious being, Is he trustworthy? Do his words really mean what they say. For example, negatively speaking, is he just building a repertoire for more scripting and posturing? Or is he really taking things to task and is he really going to clean house? So before I can proceed, I have to ask, "Does someone else out there know the answers to these questions?" How did he rise to this position? Who is he accountable to? Under what conditions can he be canned? Who are the ones who can 'can' him? Do we know that he is really in it for the long haul no matter how contrary his actions are to what these other "new bosses" ( who are not grace-based, but are abusive) think about it?

In my desire to see a house cleaning of the abusive ones and not just a hand slapping and sharpening your interpersonal skills and peacemaker training, I have to ask, "Who else on his team are as zealous as he is supposed to be in standing together to see this to the end?" Why aren't their names out there for all of us to give our approval? A weak parallel here is that in approving elders, they are recognized by the peons in the pews as qualified men. "We know what they teach, BUT we also know their lives."

What is the bottom line here? Trust has been broken. How do we know who are ones we really can trust? So, starting with Larry: Which of you out there know his personal life? How is his family life? How is he ministering/ serving in his church? Is he part of a TRUE men's accountability group in his church? These are about the only ways I have found that I can really know that my peers are more than what they say on Sunday morning.

I can understand Raz's lividness as well as Mrs. M's longing for good communication. But am I too naive here to think that I can go ahead and write to Larry ONLY after there are a couple of court cases in progress?

A little more turkey............anyone?


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