MK forum

This blog post is just what I needed to read today.

http://www.wearyourvoicemag.com/calling ... speak-out/

I hope that this Forum -- and my own posts -- do not make any MK survivors of childhood abuse in NTM environments feel they have failed if they do not speak up, if they do not make demands of NTM, and continue to make demands, as months turn to years.

This article expresses so well the fact that every survivor IS truly courageous, no matter what. You are safe now. No one else should tell you what to do, or what choices to make in response to what was done to you in the past.

As a victims' advocate, I stand by, ready to help you or support you in any way I can. But I don't want my availability to be interpreted as pressure.

Thank you, Nik Moreno, for expressing these truths better than I ever have.

"Reader, there is validity in your trauma, even if you don’t feel safe to speak up. Your survivor-ship is real. Your trauma isn’t your fault, and it never will be. Any feelings you may have about your trauma or your abuser are valid and reasonable; no one is allowed to tell you how to feel about your experience(s). No one has the right to invalidate your pain, feelings, your mental illnesses, and especially not your courage!"

"You shouldn’t be burdened by your community, or authorities with the guilt of your abuser possibly inflicting trauma on someone else. You are not responsible for another person’s actions; ever. You have the autonomy to keep your experiences to yourself, no one can take that away from you. No one’s allowed to tell you what trauma does and doesn’t look like for you. You deserve the same validation and empowerment as those survivors who have spoken out. You have full control over your narrative, even during times where it feels like you don’t, when you feel like everything is out of control."

Absolutely!

FORTUNE FAVORS THE BRAVE

Yes I agree that no victim should be revictimised by feeling they must tell their story.

On the other hand, surely anyone with a conscience would make a stand against the scourge of child abuse. There are MKs who have led by example and bared their soul, so that others might benefit. These are my heros!

NTM has a cult mentality, it is very hard to break out from the mindset! Get professional help if you can't break out, not your pastor or an elder in your church, but a professional preferaly of the same gender!

To survive is a success in itself. To bear one's cross silently is not failure. But to give freely of one's self to help others is truly heroic.

Perhaps worth examining are the reasons a victim is afraid to speak up.

Admitting to having been sexually abused can be embarrassing, especially if it is a case of incest and other siblings have a much better relationship with the abuser. In the extreme religious group setting, there is the added pressure of all the indoctrination that premarital sex is a very grave sin and so one feels one is contaminated e.t.c.
Abusers by their very nature tend to hold the balance of power and often strongly in their favour for many decades. They've manipulated an innocent child into being a silent victim and silence they will maintain at any cost. And so they work on the guilt aspect, such as the consequences of what will happen to the family and reputations if the abuse is made public.

This is why this forum works so well. We predominantly have the same background and we can take advantage of anominity as we peel off the layers. There is no hurry or pressure to share one's personal story, but if one does choose to do so, support and commaradarie is abundant from others who have been through similar experiences.

I found this website very helpful, well worth a look at.

http://www.luke173ministries.org/655609

Very helpful thoughts from that website ... and from both of you, Deja do and Bemused. I see there are quite a few people who have read this thread so far. Maybe some of the are the silent ones I was referencing.

I hold you close in my heart. Even those of you I do not know, or don't even know about.

Someone does know. And He too, holds you close.

Oh the beauty of the Fanda Eagles Grand Smorgasboard.

Gone are the days when the only choice on the menu was Genetic Soup and Six Fingered Pizza (with accompanying banjo music ). Now we can break bread with a diverse group, enjoying Big Macs, Roast Lamb, Kangaroo Burgers, Swedish Moose Stew and a host of other international cuisines.

One can eat quietly in reflection, laugh between mouthfulls or debate the nutritional merits of each course.

And when one is full, one can excuse oneself from the table for a while.

Bon Apetit.

Burp!