MK forum

Very good advice Deja Do. I am no expert on "love", in fact it is probably accurate enough to say I'm rather a dismal failure at it. Apart from the totally loveable Mrs Bemused, I find it safer not to "love" anyone else, which I suspect is something I learned rather than inherited.
Genetically I am part of a large caring family, who reside in the U.K. and I had the pleasure of visiting this year. However I grew up half a world away from that environment and of course spent much of my time in the strange environment of NTMland.

Love was something that could never really be attained. Oh sure, I was told on occasion that I was loved, but the actions generally didn't match the words and what I came to realise was that I was tolerated because I was useful and the moment I was no longer useful then the string attached "love" got yanked back. So I spent far to much time trying to be the saintly child who gave till it hurt, while actually only issuing enough saintly words so as not to get into to much trouble.

"Love" was returned to sender, just like all the birthday and Christmas presents that were returned with the comment "I don't have a use for this". To every person I've talked to about this bizarre practise, there has been a unanimous puzzlement of why a rational human being would do this. But then it would be unfair to classify what was going on in our family anything remotely like normal.
Sometimes to have any chance of fining "love" one has to walk away from hate filled environments. Otherwise, as Tina Turner sang, "it's just a second hand emotion".

Sad.

My 65 years of life have been filled with genuine love ... I now realize this is a rare gift, and I am very thankful.

I have experienced some of both.
Bemused's "Love" That is Not Love and
Raz's REAL Love.
It can be a frustration to be in the middle of those two.
Lots of tension.
But many happy memories that I choose to focus on and
Try to pass on the REAL Thing. (HEART---where is that heart emoticon?)

There is so much to say on this subject, but I think I will ponder a few things first.

Plus I'm laughing so much from some of the craziness on another thread, it is hard to concentrate today.

Such good observations and questions, Deja do.

As a parent myself, the missionary parents of NTM have weighed so heavily on my heart. You are right: many of them, to this day, do not listen to their adult children, and seemingly do not care.

I cannot understand this mentality at all! The is why I wrote the Open Letter to Missionary Parents several years ago. I was trying to reach those parents, and I still am. And I am still feeling unsuccessful.

Thank you for that ray of hope! Your encouragement is much needed today!