MK forum

We rarely hear from New Tribes members here in the Forums.

Several posts from January 14 have just been approved on the main page of this website. They were written by a Stan Henrys.

I don't think we check the main page very often, as there has been little activity there. It is also easier to respond to parts or all of his post here. So I am copying it from the main page. Feel free to comment. I hope Stan Henrys will come here to read our responses.

On Jan 14, 2015, Stan Henrys wrote:

"First thing first. Sin is sin. No missions organization condones or supports sexual abuse. To say that is just plain ranting and silly. Sexual sin is bad, sexual sin to children is sick sick sick. I know first hand the training that goes on at NTM. There are child safety reminders in your face everywhere, campus “safe people” to talk to about anything, field safe people, counselors, and 10+ class hours on sexual abuse alone. In this class it’s open forum for questions regarding anything with NTM alleged and actual sexual abuse. There are stringent background checks, 15 page applications just to join NTM, then you candidate for your time in training with a mentor couple week after week so they can see if there are any red flags in your ability to mature spiritually and grow in Christ. There is a dedicated team at NTM Head Quarters that are on staff (supported by their churches to be there, they raise support and forgo the foreign field to serve in this way…$100,000s in support for the staff just for this very reason). This team travels to every field entity PNG, Indonesia, Brazil, Thailand, etc. to raise awareness of sexual abuse signs and yellow or red flags. A kids grades drop suddenly, a bruise, even hesitation to talk, it all gets recorded on permanent record so if a child changes behavior in any of the signs that all staff is trained to look for, then personal investigation ensues to adults who interact with that child. Fancy gift of iPod to child from an adult that is not their family? yellow flag, that’s an inapproriate gift in most cases.

Any person reading this including myself are capable of doing the most horrendous things. I am convinced that no missionary, no dorm parent, coach, or teacher, goes to the field setting out to sexually abuse a little boy or girl.
“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.” John 3:19. What happens in most cases in Christian’s life is that they have a sinful thought, a temptation. That thought gets entertained (covetousness). Instead of taking that thought captive, they let it take them captive. They start doing things in secret so their deeds won’t be exposed. When they know they should repent to God and confess to a brother or sister that they need help, many times they are too afraid of loosing face or telling their 80+ supporters and home churches that they struggle with pedophilia thoughts and need to get counseling.
They keep it a secret. They try to push it away, but they let Satan in more and more. They want to do something sinful and instead of just doing it (since they know they won’t get away with it) they manipulate and push and make a poor child think they “need” to undress or perform disgusting acts to keep someone from getting in trouble, or they did something wrong and they don’t want their parents to find out so they are blackmailed. It’s sick.

Boarding schools were bad in many ways, no accountability for dorm parents (leadership asking hard questions and parents not involved), parents sacrificing their children to the god of ministry, parents not spending intentional time with their children in person (because on the radio they can’t tell their parents because everyone else is listening), parents aren’t asking “has anyone made you feel uncomfortable or made you do anything you didn’t want to?”

I will likely homeschool our children for this very reason, parents can do this. I even had a friend fly to Brazil and serve as a nanny so the mom could spend more time learning language and teaching instead of teaching her kids all day. This allowed the parents to be directly involved and still have their children with them.

INVESTIGATION: NTM has an independent Christian investigation organization that takes on investigating alleged abuse instances. This is so the victim may have justice served, proper evidence for pressing charges, closure (if it is possible through counseling) and counseling. There are also many instances where a child seeks attention and makes up a story. In these cases should a family’s ministry be ruined by one child’s mistake? So the independent from NTM organization deals with all parties involved. During investigation all involved are removed from ministry. If a person is found guilty, then charges are pressed by the family with the evidence and obviously there is absolutely no chance the guilty person ever serves NTM again.

NTM is an organization that God is using to accomplish great tasks. This side of heaven the leadership and everyone to the last missionary will be flawed sinful saved by grace humans. If your looking for perfection, you won’t find it. If your looking for diligence to care for children then you will find it.

We must remember that abuse between a perp and a victim is between that perp and the victim. NTM is not law and cannot do much but to prevent and kick out anyone causing these sick acts.

To make a website and come here and rant doesn’t do anything for anyone, but cause potential supporters to shy away from supporting individual NTM missionaries who have absolutely nothing to do with anyone abused. These claims true or not hurt the rest of us. Stop the gossip, if you want a support group, talk privately with each other.

If you have been abused, first seek professional Christian counseling. After seeking professional counseling, tell mature members of your family that are safe. Then approach law enforcement before or after talking with the Abuse Prevention staff at NTM. Then if able press charges. Work on heart attitude of forgiveness and through counseling and prayer and confession (I say confession because sometimes those abused somehow enjoyed certain parts and then they feel dirty and worse).

You cannot hold an organization responsible for one person’s actions. If NTM knew these things would happen many of the schools that are shut down, would have been shut down earlier. Remember, back in the 80′s things were still communicated by snail mail. It is unreasonable to ask a short staffed organization to investigate things that allegedly happened to people not with NTM by people no longer with NTM. I cannot imagine what you have gone through or are going through, but ranting on a website bashing the previous generation of missionaries in a way that defaces the current generations of missionaries is divisive and destructive. We are to build one another up. Seek professional help from someone you trust. Genesis Institute has helped many of my friends.

Again, NTM is not law enforcement. To call an organization of over taxed understaffed missionaries and expect them to drop their supporting duties to current missionaries they are serving, to pursue and investigate (they themselves not having training on investigation or abuse or maybe the ability to not be biased (because the truth is not biased toward perp or victim) is irrational.

NTM has over 1500 staff. Each staff is supported by churches and individuals to do a specific task. If it’s not sexual abuse prevention and investigation, this person is not doing what they are called to do if they take it as a personal mission to see something go somewhere. They must pass it on to the staff that handles it and it’s all they can do.

Put yourself in the staff’s shoes. Say your working for Joe’s Donut’s company. A lady at the age of 40 calls you and says that when she was 9 she was abused by Joe’s Donut’s assistant manager while her mom worked there. You are on the clock and feel bad for this lady, but you don’t know her, the alleged perpetrator, or anyone who was staff 31 years ago. Out of the 1500 staff of Joe’s Donut’s international the lady says she was abused in Thailand. The best you can do is put her in contact with someone who could help her more than you, ultimately though it is the victim’s responsibility to pursue justice. For her to hold you accountable to see it through is not right. And if she doesn’t get the answer she wants, she’s going to go online and leave negative reviews, feedback, and media slander a company? Did the company abuse her? No. A sick individual did.

The only justification for a website like this (if it’s only purpose is to bring down NTM through embittered hearts that are ranting instead of seeking true investigation and pressing charges) is to unite people that have struggled with abuse. Coming together to seek justice. Then after justice is served to the perp, take the files and people and interviews to NTM and tell them ways they could prevent these things from happening. If your abused, take mature responsibility to investigate, not just hate."

Good on Stan for voicing his opinion. Alas Stan appears to be no longer with NTM, according to their website. In the four months since his post maybe he has been dismissed for speaking out, or he has been personally ministered to, or he has realised that IHART no longer exists and something more sinister is in charge of the investigation. . .

Top marks to FE administrators for allowing Stan to have his say. I doubt NTM would ever allow a Fanda Eagle to post on their website or Facebook site.

Personally I find the post naïve and a poor defence of NTM. All that rubbish about being tempted and then slipping into sin. Even as an individual of poor faith, I have never been tempted by little boys and girls, most "normal" men aren't! And if all has changed and there is so much material "in ones face" about child abuse, how did Scott Kennel happen so recently and not be dealt with properly at all by NTM and Gary Earl?

This is a free forum, something has helped me to be free of my NTM past enormously. Poor Stan is stuck in cult mentality, with an organisation that he says is very busy. But busy doing what? The NTM website proves that half of it's listed members are not even on the field.

Or maybe Stan isn't actually with NTM, after all one of the biggest defenders of NTM down this end of the globe is not with NTM and this is exactly the sort of post he would write. We used to be related until a few years ago.

Clap.....Clap.....Clap. Stan Henrys if your intention was to stir the pot, well done. I do not usually post on this forum, however after reading your comments I feel compelled to respond. I hope that you read this with an open mind and heart. Please bear with me as I add my two cents worth.

"There are stringent background checks, 15 page applications just to join NTM, then you candidate for your time in training with a mentor couple week after week so they can see if there are any red flags in your ability to mature spiritually and grow in Christ."

15 page application/questionnaire? That is pretty lean compared to the application process for most companies or organizations. I had to fill out 50+ pages, a background check was conducted in all states I had ever lived in and I perform my duties in an office with NO contact with children. My hiring process is considered standard. My husband's was much more intensive.

There is a dedicated team at NTM Head Quarters that are on staff (supported by their churches to be there, they raise support and forgo the foreign field to serve in this way…$100,000s in support for the staff just for this very reason). This team travels to every field entity PNG, Indonesia, Brazil, Thailand, etc. to raise awareness of sexual abuse signs and yellow or red flags. A kids grades drop suddenly, a bruise, even hesitation to talk, it all gets recorded on permanent record so if a child changes behavior in any of the signs that all staff is trained to look for, then personal investigation ensues to adults who interact with that child. Fancy gift of iPod to child from an adult that is not their family? yellow flag, that’s an inapproriate gift in most cases.

There should be ministry to protect our children. Are children not important? I personally don't think enough money is spent on raising awareness on abuse. Kudos to those who are in this ministry, I am sure it is a daunting task to have their voices heard.

I was a text book case of abuse. Instead of an iPod, it was a candy bar. Yes, a simply candy bar. I am sure those around who saw him give it to me thought nothing of yet. Oh but if just one person would have spoken up, or watched a bit closer or voiced their suspicion... things could have been drastically different. I do hold the people who had a suspicion and didn't voice it responsible, my parents for not speaking up when they knew something wasn't right, are responsible, leadership who turned a blind eye, are responsible.

Boarding schools were bad in many ways, no accountability for dorm parents (leadership asking hard questions and parents not involved), parents sacrificing their children to the god of ministry, parents not spending intentional time with their children in person (because on the radio they can’t tell their parents because everyone else is listening), parents aren’t asking “has anyone made you feel uncomfortable or made you do anything you didn’t want to?”

I will likely homeschool our children for this very reason, parents can do this. I even had a friend fly to Brazil and serve as a nanny so the mom could spend more time learning language and teaching instead of teaching her kids all day. This allowed the parents to be directly involved and still have their children with them.

So, why have children if you are not going to raise them yourself? Or if they are a burden, expendable or a sacrifice you feel you have to make in order to serve God? Are children not a gift from God? Is it not our responsibility as parents to raise Godly men and women? I would think that the first act of being missionaries would be to reach our children. Also by putting your ministry first, you could be giving your children the impression that they are not important. Just food for thought.

INVESTIGATION: NTM has an independent Christian investigation organization that takes on investigating alleged abuse instances. This is so the victim may have justice served, proper evidence for pressing charges, closure (if it is possible through counseling) and counseling. There are also many instances where a child seeks attention and makes up a story. In these cases should a family’s ministry be ruined by one child’s mistake? So the independent from NTM organization deals with all parties involved. During investigation all involved are removed from ministry. If a person is found guilty, then charges are pressed by the family with the evidence and obviously there is absolutely no chance the guilty person ever serves NTM again.

I am happy you brought this up. It gives me a bit of insight on what the average NTM'er believes is happening with the investigations. Is this the information that you have read on the NTM website? Has other NTM'ers given you this information? Or have you done your own research into IHART and PII? I encourage you to do your own research on this. It is very rare that a child would make up a story with graphic details of abuse. I was involved in an investigation and I worked with both IHART and PII and I can tell you that it was not independent. It was about how best NTM could protect their assets and reputation. It had nothing to do with finding out the truth. I am not going to go into the details of the investigation I was involved in on this thread.

NTM is an organization that God is using to accomplish great tasks. This side of heaven the leadership and everyone to the last missionary will be flawed sinful saved by grace humans. If your looking for perfection, you won’t find it. If your looking for diligence to care for children then you will find it.

God will accomplish great tasks with or without NTM. God does not need NTM to accomplish anything. Does God use NTM? Sure, but if NTM was dismantled, God would still accomplish great things.

I am not looking for perfection, I am looking for a leadership that is humble, that will apologize, take responsibility of the grossly mishandled investigations. But alas, I think that is too much to hope for. From my experience, NTM truly does not care and they will do the bare minimum that they have to regarding any investigation of historical abuse. I was hoping for so much more and was sorely disappointed.

We must remember that abuse between a perp and a victim is between that perp and the victim. NTM is not law and cannot do much but to prevent and kick out anyone causing these sick acts.

It is never just between a perp and a victim. Many, many people knew of the abuse that was going on mission wide and did nothing. Those parents, teachers, coaches, friends and leadership that knew and did nothing, are responsible.

The abuse I suffered as a child not only damaged me physically but emotionally as well. It affects my relationship with my husband, makes me over protective of my children, it indirectly affects ever aspect of my life. So, no, it is never just between a perp and victim. I will not go into the nitty gritty of my issues as it has no place on this forum.

To make a website and come here and rant doesn’t do anything for anyone, but cause potential supporters to shy away from supporting individual NTM missionaries who have absolutely nothing to do with anyone abused. These claims true or not hurt the rest of us. Stop the gossip, if you want a support group, talk privately with each other.

So, to clarify, the reason you dislike this website is because it gives NTM a bad name and it could potentially affect your cash flow?

If you have been abused, first seek professional Christian counseling. After seeking professional counseling, tell mature members of your family that are safe. Then approach law enforcement before or after talking with the Abuse Prevention staff at NTM. Then if able press charges.

Let me give you a scenario. You are on home assignment and you/your wife/daughter/son are walking home from the grocery store when you are pulled into an ally and raped. Do you pick yourself up, brush off the dirt and go find a Christian counselor? Then after working through the horrific event, (which could take years) you finally decide to tell someone who you feel safe with? Then and only after all this has occurred you tell the police? I can guarantee that is not how the order of events would be. You would call the police first. So, why as an NTM'er is calling the police the last resort instead of the first? Is it because we are all in the "Christian" community? That the abuser is supposedly a Christian so we give them the chance to confess and ask for forgiveness and they face no consequences? Why is there a double standard here? Like you said above, sin is sin regardless if someone claims to be a Christian or not and there are consequences. If you witness a crime do you not report it? If someone confesses of a crime, would you not report it? So, shouldn't NTM be reporting everything to law enforcement instead of "handling" these situations internally?

Work on heart attitude of forgiveness and through counseling and prayer and confession (I say confession because sometimes those abused somehow enjoyed certain parts and then they feel dirty and worse).

Oh my, this will stir the pot. I have nothing to confess. I was a child, I had no knowledge of sex. I did not enjoy or have any feelings other than pain. I was innocent and I did nothing wrong. No victim of abuse is ever to blame. The shame or the feeling dirty comes from being used, and from the abuser. It is the mind game abusers play with their victims to keep them submissive and from speaking out. I was worthless, nothing, who would believe me? Those were the lies that left me ashamed. Once I fully realized what was done to me, I felt dirty, like used good, unlovable. Who would ever love me knowing what he had done to me? Again, I have nothing to confess and don't think any victim of abuse has anything to confess.

I find it sad that you felt the need to somehow insinuate that the victim is to blame. The victim is NEVER to blame.

I know all about the NTM teachings on forgiveness. I am not going to touch on that as that is another discussion entirely. However, if you are at all interested in trying to understand and maybe get a different point of view, I have a book I can recommend.

Put yourself in the staff’s shoes. Say your working for Joe’s Donut’s company. A lady at the age of 40 calls you and says that when she was 9 she was abused by Joe’s Donut’s assistant manager while her mom worked there. You are on the clock and feel bad for this lady, but you don’t know her, the alleged perpetrator, or anyone who was staff 31 years ago. Out of the 1500 staff of Joe’s Donut’s international the lady says she was abused in Thailand. The best you can do is put her in contact with someone who could help her more than you, ultimately though it is the victim’s responsibility to pursue justice. For her to hold you accountable to see it through is not right. And if she doesn’t get the answer she wants, she’s going to go online and leave negative reviews, feedback, and media slander a company? Did the company abuse her? No. A sick individual did.

I believe I stated this above, but if people in the company or mission knew of what was going on, which there is factual documents that cannot be disputed that leadership knew of abuse happening mission wide and did nothing, yes, they are responsible. For example, if I was a daycare owner and I knew one of my employees was abusing the children and did nothing, I would be responsible. Same principle.

The only justification for a website like this (if it’s only purpose is to bring down NTM through embittered hearts that are ranting instead of seeking true investigation and pressing charges) is to unite people that have struggled with abuse. Coming together to seek justice. Then after justice is served to the perp, take the files and people and interviews to NTM and tell them ways they could prevent these things from happening. If your abused, take mature responsibility to investigate, not just hate."


For some, this website is their safe haven. They can be bitter, rant, they can share their progress, heart break, despair, sorrow, joy and they know they are not alone. There is understanding, sympathy, that can only be understood by those who have been abused or affected by abuse. I encourage you to read the posts on this website, not through the eyes of a NTM member but with an open mind and heart, I think you will find that the people on here are amazing, courageous, vulnerable and all just trying to make sense of it all. There are stages of healing and we are all at different stages, denial, anger, acceptance etc...These views are all expressed.

I am interested in your response and would like to have a dialogue with you. If you would like to private message me instead of responding on the general forum, please feel free to do so.


Roar

Well NTM now has a big problem don't they. If this nutter is speaking on their behalf, then nothing has changed in fact the arrogant attitude to others has got worse!!!!!!!! Or if this nutter is shooting his mouth off and not representing NTM policy, then they need to find whoever this is and throw them out and do it publically!!!!!!!

Best thing we can do folks, is share with other Tribers what this nutbar has posted, then they can do the work of finding out who it is and dealing with it. If they don't want to, then Aussie is right, there is something wrong with male culture in NTM!!!!!!!!!

Aussie predicts nothing will be done, because this nutbar has just posted the cult think of to many Tribers and good folk who do think straight, won't say a thing!!!!!!!!!

Until further notice, Stan speaks for all of New Tribes.

I wonder if Stan Henrys was formerly know as the Red Barron.