MK forum

I hope this link works for everyone.

We all need to listen to this. Survivors. Advocates and supporters.

So incredibly real and powerful.

Don't you think?

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/01/gaslit-poem/

I'd not heard of the term "gaslighting" before. But I'm very familiar with the technique of attemting to alter another persons memory.

My father was a very big proponent of it. Sometimes he was subtle in his technique, but often just persistant. His was the only correct recollection of history and he tried to alter those who had varying accounts to his own. He would sow the doubts of perception in anothers mind and then keep working at it until he had agreement with his own view.
Disagree with him and he became angry and abusive. Present facts and he would call into question your faith and sanity.
He would also use other family members to do the same technique, so that in the end they became his parrot.

I found the best way to get someone like this out of my head is to walk away and not reply to any mad ranting correspondence. Only by walking away was it possible to get a much clearer picture of the amount of lies, deception and mental bullying that was being used.

I spent much of my life listening to the line that no one could be truly happy unless they thought like my father. It turned out the opposite was true. The greatest degree of stability and happiness in my life has been in the past few years, being able to get away from strange memory altering persistance of a strange man who had a dark agenda.

Sometimes the gaslighter needs dousing by a firefighter.

I am so glad you got away, Bemused.

Keep that firefighting gear handy.

WOW!

Dear Bemused I am sorry what you went through. But you have made a great recovery and help so many others. Glad you are a firefighter.

I've got a great photo of my colleague and I fighting a building fire with a hose. What I like about the photo is that it reminds me that with me is another firefighter who I can trust with my life. Who isn't going to disappear halfway through the job and leave me being flung around by a hose that this ageing MK is to small to handle by himself. Nor is he going to find an axe and cut the hose, because he feels the fire might have it's feelings hurt by being doused with water and that the fire should be allowed to burn because it is some sort of purifying agent. And I know that just out of the picture is another firefighter who keeps the water flowing and watches the for the time when my air will get low and I need to be recalled.

I feel confident that I can trust my colleagues to watch my back when the alarm goes and the emergency is in full swing.

Wish I had a picture of the MK Bemused fighting the inferno of child abuse with someone he has known for decades. Someone who is related, proud of my efforts and willing to sacrifice for the sake of children.
There is no such photo and there never will be.

Yes, it is true, there are no family members in that photo, fighting the inferno of child abuse with you.

But you are standing strong and stubborn, fighting that inferno. And you are not alone. We may not be part of your family of birth ... but we are now joined together in the struggle. A new family. We are with you, Firefighter Bemused! Together we fight on!

We have often talked of courage on this site
Even in the early days
It has always been a place where one can stand
With confidence
Because there are others behind him
Cheering and
Supporting
Listening
Actively being involved.
Fight on, Bemused!
We are proud of you!
And you have helped so many others
To be brave also.