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I want to know how many of us have gotten help from a professional and have been diagnosed with PTSD? I myself have and it is not a fun thing to live with.

The human brain is the most complex of all the human organs and probably the least understood. Whereas physical conditions are relatively easy to diagnose because they generally exhibit the same symptoms from individual to individual (i.e. an amputee is diagnosed by observing that a limb is missing, which is the same diagnosis for all amputees), conditions of the mind are far less cut and dried.
MKs may well have near identical childhood circumstances, yet have coped with or reacted to those circumstances radically differently and consequently gone on to have different lives. PTSD and other psychiatric conditions are broad term labels for reactions to circumstances that vary widely, from the effects of war to long term abuse in personal relationships. The problem with labels is that once we attain them, we often see them as a sentence that we must wear and allow it to define who we are, instead of a challenge to make the choice to move beyond the label.
Life is all about choices, both our own and as MKs, choices made for us. And just like physical ailments, some cope well with a diagnosis and make the most of life and others don't.

Let the diagnosis of PTSD be an explanation of where you have come from and a challenge of where you want to go. There are many of us who have been on similar journeys. While it is not possible to erase the memories of the past, it is possible to change the direction we take in the future. Slowly at first, by whatever means you find at your disposal and that work for you. It is an individual journey, but one that others have parts in common. Fanda Eagles is a good place to find others with similar journeys and a good place to see that healing is possible.

As for attaining the Holy Grail of labels and eventually becoming "normal". Don't bother, "normal" doesn't exist. There is nothing wrong with being unique, eccentric or slightly crazy. I'm all three and Mrs Bemused thinks I'm pretty good anyway .

MKR, we welcome you to our Forums here on Fanda Eagles. We hope you will find this is a safe place to unpack and process, surrounded by those who understand that the MK psyche is complicated and unique.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a definition that fits very well for what many MK abuse survivors deal with on a daily (often more like nightly) basis. The mind and the body retain much of the stress that an MK endured, and even if the person appears to be coping quite well on the outside, inside they may be struggling, and sometimes breaking down.

Here is a helpful list of PTSD symptoms, from the Mayo Clinic website. MK survivors, if you wonder whether you might also have PTSD, take a look through this list and see how many of these symptoms you relate to.

Symptoms of PTSD
By Mayo Clinic Staff

Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms may start within three months of a traumatic event, but sometimes symptoms may not appear until years after the event. These symptoms cause significant problems in social or work situations and in relationships.

PTSD symptoms are generally grouped into four types: intrusive memories, avoidance, negative changes in thinking and mood, or changes in emotional reactions.

Intrusive memories

Symptoms of intrusive memories may include:

Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)
Upsetting dreams about the traumatic event
Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the event

Avoidance

Symptoms of avoidance may include:

Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event

Negative changes in thinking and mood

Symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood may include:

Negative feelings about yourself or other people
Inability to experience positive emotions
Feeling emotionally numb
Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
Hopelessness about the future
Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
Difficulty maintaining close relationships

Changes in emotional reactions

Symptoms of changes in emotional reactions (also called arousal symptoms) may include:

Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior
Always being on guard for danger
Overwhelming guilt or shame
Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
Trouble concentrating
Trouble sleeping
Being easily startled or frightened

I happen to disagree with the theory that once you are diagnosed with something it controls you. I for one was glad to have a name for what was happening to me, as I didn’t know why NTM had affected me so badly. I’m a pretty tough person and to have break downs where I would curl up in a ball in a corner and scream and cry and shake, I needed to know what the problem was. So I spent large amounts of money and figured it out. Been on Meds for many years and I can control it now, but the affects of it, destroyed my marriage, friendships and many other things in my life.

You fight every day in this life MK or not, but let me say being an MK hasn’t been a help in this world. I was told that parts of me mentally were never allowed to grow up, so emotion wasn’t a thing I knew or knew how to react to. I am better at these days.

As for there being a normal? Well, I think there is a normal that is more acceptable in our given culture that we’re born into. When we go overseas and have the NTM culture ingrained in us, yes, this is not normal and as many MK’s find out, you learn how to not show this side of you, even though it runs deep in your blood and you are not sure why.

Thank you for writing MKR. Lots of diagnosis!! But for me the most interesting one I wrote about back in January . . .


Post subject: Re: IHART Investigation, VianopolisPostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:23 pm
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Thank you, friends. Of course, our stories are all a little different. I didn't go to boarding school until I was almost 16, and was there for two years. Truly the best and worst of times. The grief I felt on my graduation day was unreal. I knew, with all my heart, that I would never see my friends again. And, except for a handful of occasions, I haven't. So, my most recent diagnosis is Self-Absorbed Disenfranchised Grief. The doctor who came up with that one studied a group of missionaries upon re-entry to Australia. Basically, the disenfranchised part means that we were not given a platform to hang our grief from. It's not supported by the structure. We were not to show any discontent with the life "God gave us." If we were sad, it was ok as long as you didn't dwell on it. The self-absorbed is not that you can't stop thinking or talking about your grief, but that you've personalized the grief and feel that you are the one to blame for the grief. Even knowing what I do and going to therapy, I still feel shame upon writing on this forum. I'm still a little girl in a Holly Hobby dress being taken from church to church, on display, afraid what Dad's going to say when we get back into the van. But, of course, being a sponge, also feeling my brothers' fear, anger, embarrassment, despair . . .my mother's anxious need to please, my dad's chaotic mind. No, I don't feel like a victim. I feel like a failure.


Happy to say I feel much more survivor-like and more hopeful than I ever thought possible back then.

We'll see what Old Man Winter throws my way this year . . .

In my many talks with MKs this year, acute psychological distress has been a common theme.

By the way, the study I was referencing above can be found at http://digital.library.adelaide.edu.au/ ... 2whole.pdf

This is a real problem and real topic. Not the time for jokes and fun.

South of the equator is the southern hemisphere, where some of us MKs are from. It is not winter down here and the earth is not flat!!!!!