Information Mysteriously Vanishes from all NTM Web Sites
Cyber Security Experts Baffled
Early this morning, NSA investigators began investigating what appears to be a malicious cyber attack on web sites owned, operated or associated with NTM, a multi-national corporation with fingers in many pies, but no hands in the cookie jars. Many pictures, most information and virtually all contact information had vanished by midnight Monday. Most mysteriously, NTM Australia had become Crossview Australia. Attempts to contact the Crossview Chariman [sic], Director and Book Keeper [sic] were stymied by a lack of contact information.
What began as innocuous and almost imperceptible deletions has cascaded into a total rout, resulting in a general uproar among customers anxious to check on the status of their cookies.
"For a company that specializes in communications, this is a disastrous turn of events," said Paul Flaming, Professor of Corporate Communications at the University of Wisconsin – Woodworth. "To be hit with something like this just as they were re-re-reinventing themselves is potentially ruinous. All they need now is another bus accident and it could push them over the edge."
Blog entries began self-destructing soon after it was discovered that they contained sensitive information that could be used to contact top management and raise questions about the historical breaking of cookies. Authorities originally theorized that NTM personnel had taken down the blog entries themselves, since the blogs were clearly not designed for accountability, but for accounts receivable, as can be seen from the following excerpt from one of the first blog entries to disappear:
Thank you for you [sic] on-going prayer and financial support!
Brian and Julie
414-232-6601
Brian_coombs@ntm.org
Julie_coombs@ntm.org
Following rapidly upon the mysterious disappearance of that blog entry, most NTM web sites worldwide went blank. NTM web sites and phone lines, normally humming with data, shut down with such suddenness that cyber-space was left largely disjointed and without adequate direction. NTM has formed a committee to hire outside investigators to look into what is now being called on Planet NTM "this historical shut down."
NSA agents, somewhat leery of this solution, have begun their own investigation. "NTM is a great fund raiser, but when it comes to solving problems, their track record is a little weak," said an agent on the condition of anonymity. "And by 'weak' I mean 'disjointed.'"
Elsewhere, it has become all but impossible to find a picture of or contact information for Dan Kreider, a member of the Ruling Party in NTM Land and an elder at Northland Church. Email addresses, phone numbers, fax numbers and even physical address for other members of the Executive Board have also been deleted. It is now impossible to do anything online besides make donations to the NTM Legal Defense Fund.
Phone calls to former NTM phone numbers reached an automated answering machine, which gave the following choices:
For apologies or clear answers to simple questions in plain English, please call a different number. In fact, call a different organization. We have our hands full right now.
For double talk, please press one.
For little white lies, please press two.
For prevarications and subtle deflections from the truth, please press three.
For outright lies, please press four.
For the latest howlers from internal communications, please press five, three times.
To report a broken former cookie, please press six.
To have your lawyer speak to our lawyer, please press seven.
To order NTM gear, please press eight.
For questions on retirement, please press nine.
To make demands, please press zero. By the way, we will NOT respond to demands, in case that has slipped through the cracks in your mind.
|
