MK forum

Hello again! I have not posted in over a year, but I still read the forum. For those of you who don't remember me, my husband and I were NTM missionaries for 4 years. We were unexpectedly sent back to the States in 2010 by our NTM area leaders for counseling for our "sin issues". We subsequently resigned from the mission. This was about the same time the Fanda Eagles GRACE investigation was being done. We spent the next several years getting our feet back under us, journeying through the shock of what had happened to us, and trying to understand the why behind it all, and continuing on our spiritual journey. This forum has been part of that process for me. And I've done some deep thinking about the root causes of abuse in NTM and any Christian organization.

For obvious reasons, leaders are the focal point of blame. But I've come to realize that, at least in American Christianity, abusive leaders exist because of the multitude of common people who go along with it. So the abuse needs to be addressed not only at the leadership level, but also at its foundation. I just read this article which explains the problem so well. Here is an excerpt, but please read the whole article. It’s excellent!

"This is why people who have no financial or status tied up in protecting abuse of corruption within an institution can nevertheless be expected to rally around that institution and its leaders. Those who tell the truth threaten their Murti-Bing pill supply, and therefore their sense of order and well-being. To them, better that a few victims must be made to suffer rather than the entire community be forced to wean itself from Murti-Bing."

http://www.theamericanconservative.com/ ... urti-bing/

NTM would not even exist if it weren't for the churches (made of individuals) that support them. And this problem is SYSTEMIC to Christianity. How do we deal with such a huge problem at the foundation? The idea of weaning is that you do it slow and gradually. What are some ideas that we can do to come along side the common person and slowly help them see the problems in their belief systems and support abusive systems in Christianity? I think as we address the foundation of the problem we need to go slow so that people actually can change vs reflexively clinging to their Murti-Bing bottles and poppin' a few more for good measure.

For me, it was a couple years into the post NTM process until I could recognize that my own Christian beliefs (unwittingly) supported the foundation of spiritual abuse. Since then my beliefs have changed in ways I never would have anticipated. (It can happen!) Now I am in a new phase of the journey. Life circumstances resulted in us moving to Sanford this summer and now we live very close to HQ! Of course this means running into current and former NTMers, which keeps bringing this stuff back to the front burner for me.

What are your thoughts about the article? Agree? Disagree? Let's brainstorm some ideas for helping ourselves and others think about our dependency on Murti-Bing and whether this is really a good thing for us or not.

I am so happy to see you back, Kathy! And thanks for telling us you have still been reading the forum. I always wonder who is reading, as I watch our view meter climb toward 4 1/2 million.

That is an excellent article! I recommend it to all readers. I especially recommend it to current members of NTM and current loyal supporters of NTM. Because this article is about YOU.

"Lobdell shared that what broke his spirit wasn’t the way the church leaders refused to see the truth, but rather the way the ordinary laypersons refused to see it–how they shouted down peers bold enough to speak honestly about their traumas, how they sought to rationalize any evil done by their beloved leaders."

"We all understand, I think, the problem with leaders not wanting to lose what they have: power, wealth, fame, etc. The more difficult problem is explaining why people much farther down the power structure — specifically, those who are being exploited by the leadership — are willing to cooperate in their own exploitation. They too are unwilling to risk what they have — but what do they have, really?"

Lately I have been doing some thinking about deconstruction. In order to construct new thought or behavior patterns, it is necessary to first deconstruct. For me, this has included the deconstruction of my confidence in my long-ago parenting methods and choices, the deconstruction of my blind faith in the institutionalized Christian church, and the deconstruction of my motivations for serving God as a foreign missionary. It is not easy to take a good, hard look at things we were so sure we were right about. Another word for this process is "repentance", or the changing of one's mind and path. Tribers are more familiar with this word, but it is pretty scary to apply the concept of repentance to things that are so ingrained that they feel like a part of our DNA.

Scary. Difficult. But not impossible.

You mean like in Spandex?

Seriously, welcome again, Kathy.
Sanford? Ooh, that's a hard one.

So, toxic leaders and their transportation woes….
(See article via the link)
Whether it's a bus/ plane/ or train
They want YOU on theirs. No discussion.
A bus seems kind of dumpy--
Planes go higher and
Trains go faster
But the idea is the same:
If you aren't ON
You're done…..
Til the crash comes.
But the article is about all those who just get on
And stay on
And on
And on.
We have talked about THINKING so many times.
One more time doesn't hurt.
Raz---what courage---
To tell us, I mean.
People who think end up having decisions to make.
Those who just follow along don't have to bother with that.
There are enough facts here to make anyone think!
But you can't make them……..