MK forum

Thank you Raz for your kind words. I knew I was taking a risk by posting what I did. I think the fact that I am a member now with NTM and not just a victim of the system makes it uncomfortable for many to empathize with me. I am working through things on my own, finding my voice... just like a child who leaves the security of their parents and moves on into the "real world" ... I am in the "real world" of NTM...not that child that was innocent and thought no one could do wrong. I know wrong has been done by many -- too many.
Like I said before I have read this blog for months now ...it was only last night that I decided to post...as the title "NTM MKs who are current members" hit a nerve for me. I felt like raising my hand, standing up and shouting...that's me!

I have a story to tell....I have my own experiences...

I will end by saying...I am proud to be an MK, I am proud to be the daughter of my parents...I am proud to have grown up overseas..... being a member of NTM? Proud? No -- not really. But I'll stick with them for the long haul -- unless/until God directs elsewhere. But for now I'm thankful for all that's happened in my life that has shaped and molded me and prepared me for who I am today... for these things I am thankful!

Quando eu era criança eu vivia num país onde falaram espanhol. Agora eu moro num país onde falam português! Adivinhe quem!

Lara, please don't leave! We all want you here, and my post was not directed at you at all. It was just a general one. As a mother of two abuse survivors I was feeling protective of MK Falcon, but that also, is my own perspective, as a Mom whose daughters do not speak up, speak out. If they ever do, I just hope their courage is met with compassion and respect.
But no, I was not directing my post at you at all, and I welcome you and hope you will stay and continue to dialogue with all of us!
I'm truly sorry my post was hurtful to you.

I do sincerely apologize if my words sounded accusatory or pompous. I am very passionate about stopping child abuse- not only within NTM, but everywhere, especially in the Christian community, and for accountability. This isn't the first encounter I've had with this issue and I am - well,- spitting mad. It spurs me to action and I hope that's a good thing.

MKFalcon, thank you for posting and adding your voice. Lara, please don't leave. I know we're all hyper-sensitive here, all in different ways... but we all do have stories to tell and voices that need heard.

I personally did not think that any of the responses were geared to tear her apart. I have read some threads were people have been pounded for things that they have said, but in reading these responses I see some agreeing to a point but then giving their points of view. I also just see a lot of people answering the questions she raised in her own post. She wanted to know why we are trying to point fingers at NTM instead of laying full blame on our parents and we answered that question. Maybe my life has made me hard, cold, and detached, maybe I am missing something, why is everyone wanting to leave? You all posted amazing things, without everyone's voice, questions, and perspectives the puzzle pieces would never be put together. Lets get back on topic here.

I have a question for the floor regarding MKs who become missionaries, both with New Tribes and other organizations. In a nutshell, it's this: why are there so many? This has always fascinated me, since choosing to go into mission work is a calling from God, and I do not believe that callings are genetic or passed down.

I personally think that many, many MKs choose to go into mission work for a myriad of other reasons besides being genuinely led by God to such work - because they can't fathom doing anything else, because they feel like outsiders in their sending countries, because they are not equipped or encouraged to think about other occupations, because they enjoy the "status" their families always received for doing "sacrificial" Christian work...I could go on and on. I am not saying that these reasons are consciously thought out, but I wonder how many times MKs going back to the field is just the expected, easiest thing and not a deliberate choice at all. And let's face it - in some ways it is far easier to make the "sacrifice" of giving up some modern conveniences that we never grew up with anyway for the simplicity of feeling like you are part of a "mission from God," if I may quote the Blues Brothers.

I do recall clearly when we were asked as kids at Fanda what we wanted to be when we grew up, the proper answer was always "I want to be a missionary." It was the way to get the most approval and to avoid any negative attention for being "rebellious". We were never encouraged to daydream about potential futures - it was go to NTM training, meet a mate there, and go back to the field. And that's what a lot of people did.

Verify,,

I am one of those MK gone missionary. If you look at a lot of the MKs , not only do they go back to the field, many also marry other MKs. I believe we do feel more at home in the other country not only because it is "home" but because our thought pattern, ideas, values are totally different than the sending country...to me it was that way. I married an MK from a different mission and we both felt led to be overseas. Home yes, but the ones that we work with think and value the same things. Another perspective.

You know, growing up I didn't excel in school like all my peers. All I ever wanted to do was get married and be a missionary. Sure, a lot of that was because it was familiar and sounded safe. But let me say, God's hand was in all of it. Now that I am in it and even through the process of getting to the field...there were many times I wanted to quit and live a normal life in the states for sure! Is it fun living away from your parents again....and now not only your parents but your siblings, your nieces and nephews, your friends you made along the way .... it isn't the same as it was as a kid.... sure there are aspects that are the same. Sure, culture shock might not be as severe for MK's returning to life on the mission field ....but the challenges are the same in many ways as for those who are not MK's but choose to become missionaries. My husband is not an MK. I'm the youngest of 4 kids...and all 3 of my siblings live state-side with careers (doctor, lawyer and stay-at-home mom)... yes, I've had this conversation before with all of them.... why me? And no, our parents never pressured us into becoming missionaries. But why did I end up/chose to be the missionary? ..why did I get married at 18 a week out of highschool? Well you head down the path that you feel is what's best/right and God is there to lead and guide..He doesn't promise it'll be easy.. but He is there
.... I'm convinced this is what God has for my life. No doubt about it!

as a fellow MK and NTM insider, I want to say that I deeply hurt with those who are hurting... I am sorry for your pain. I have had some of my own, though its hard to know if we have truly walked in another's sandals. In the end, I have discovered much grace. I don't, won't and can't defend anyone in NTM, nor do I know what to "do" that would make things better. I do believe that there is a genuine work of God's Spirit happening within the NTM family as a result of the exposure of this sin. As for me, I am forever grateful to those of you who have given us a window into your hearts so that I could be reminded forever of the consequences of carelessness when it comes to caring for our children and the danger of improperly dealing with sin when it is revealed. I am committed to be watchful and to hold my leadership accountable for their decisions. I am willing to leave or stay as the Lord leads (I really only see NTM as a support to help us get there) but will remain fully invested in doing whatever I can so that those who are least-reached will hear God's message.
One final thought, NTM as we know it today is not a single organization with a single leadership at the top. Every country does have its own organizational setup for the purpose of supporting the ministries of NTM. So it is very helpful if you have concerns about the "leadership of NTM" that you be very specific about which organization you want to see "leadership change". To restate this, "NTM" is made up of more than 40 organizations that do not have a single organizational structure tying them all together. Each of those organizations is responsible to adopt the changes necessary to make "NTM" a supportive place for families who want to serve the cause of missions to unreached people.
I am praying daily for God's perfect healing grace to be poured out upon each of us who are hurting--regardless of who inflicted our wounds, how long ago they occurred or how much it has hurt us and our families. We need an outpouring of grace.
I support your efforts to report any and all incidents wherever it would be proper to do so in order that those who have caused deep wounds in the souls of children will not be able to continue to do so.

@verily
In my many (20 counting the training) years in NTM I have often observed 2nd and 3rd generation missionaries. It has seemed to me that many returned to the mission because they really didn't fit in the real world. They were comfortable and passionate about missions but especially about the field they served in and the mission board their family members were with. I think there is a big issue of fear, masked as God’s leading. Fear to not be in the mission. Fear to know a relationship with Christ apart from missions. Fear from the unknown and the security that familiarity provides. In many ways, I have seen more passionate relationships with Christ apart from missions; believers who want to make Christ known in the workforce.

For some of us who have found life, and life more abundantly, AFTER NTM, we know that God uses committed lives apart from missions. I may have cynicism towards NTM but my personal belief is that many NTM members have “sold their birthright” and have settled on service that lacks spirit-filled joy and direction. No, I’m not charismatic – I just know that if you consistently don’t respond to the Holy Spirit speaking in your life, the gentleman He is, He stops speaking.

@ Parents of MKs
As a side note to parents of NTM MKs, when you face your regret for sending your kids away and you apologize, I personally found that if I added my reasons or my excuses it nullifies my apology. It is not easy to face the fact that God spoke clearly to me but I excused away my sending my kids to boarding school. I was pressured; I held out as long as I could; I felt incompetent to continue home schooling; NTM gave me an ultimatum, etc. None of that holds any consolation to my children. They should have not been sent away. I, as a parent, wronged them. I guess for me, I am willing to apologize without excuse forever. For my situation, it has been necessary to admit I was wrong many times over. I was wrong then and today I can tell my children I was wrong. There are times when the wounds feel fresh for them and for me and I am still sorry and I am without excuse. I have nothing to defend.

I hope that makes some sense how I have faced my own sin in damaging my children by sending them away.