MK forum

I think you're right.
It may be one reason abused adult miss
Just keep shuffling around to one ministry
After another
Instead of LEAVING.
There ARE other reasons too for these people.
But there is alot of misplaced loyalty there, too.

I suspect you could well be right. Loyalty is a strange thing, it can be good or misplaced. Our dog is very loyal, especially when he thinks there is food involved. He does however suffer from selective deafness as he cannot hear his name being called when in close proximity, yet he can hear the click for the toaster from hundreds of yards.
I think there is a parallel here.

Remembering Patty Hearst, she defended the evil of the abductors even going to jail. She was loyal to them refusing to witness against them. Elizabeth Short denied being herself. The only way it seems this cycle can be broken is by someone from the outside. Those of us on the outside must keep up the fight for those still trapped. Many women refuse to believe their husband have been abusing their own children, even in the face of the husband being proved guilty in court. It is one thing not to see it when you are living in it, but why when faced with facts even then it is denied. Seems so hard to understand. But I do know that people can change as facts are presented time after time. I even at one time stated my kids would go to boarding school, it was the best place in the world to be a kid. When my husband and I were at Missionary Internship in Michigan, I told those families with kids boarding schools are great even arguing with those who wanted to keep their kids at home. Yes I still have wonderful friends from Mamou and we had some of the greatest times. But now I know there is no way it is right to take a child away from their parents for any reason unless the child is being abused.

Dear Raz,

As my 96 year old granny would have said, "god bless your little pea picking heart". I was an Assembly of God MK at Hillcrest in Jos, Nigeria in the late '60's. Your letter put into words so much I'd like to have been able to identify earlier in my life. And so much that I wish my parents had had the maturity and courage to say to me before they died.

I am proud of the man I've become but would never subject my son to the same experiences. He starts at CSU Chico in September and I'm so very proud of the relationship I've worked on since before he was born. If nothing else, the lack of a relationship with my parents really focused me on making damn sure I had a good, healthy relationship with my son. A relationship focused on helping him find his happiness, not on him making me happy or serving some "noble" cause. Nothing is more noble than protecting the relationships with our kids. The best times of my life were walking my son back and forth from elementary school. I set up a large table desk in my home office and I worked on one side while he did his homework on the other. Nothing, not anything, no charitable self sacrificing work in missions or anywhere else will ever ever ever be more important to me (or to the world for that matter). He's My Fine Young Man (MFYM in our family jargon) as I'd have been my father's if he'd let me.

Thank you. Some of it was fun, but large chunks of my youth are blanks and I fear full of the horror you so well described.

Brad

Wow, thank you Brad. Thanks for weighing in here.

I once thought the pain of abuse and abandonment of MKs might be unique to my fellow MKs in New Tribes Mission. I now understand that MKs from many missions and many different generations are carrying similar pain. Often unresolved.

You son is very blessed that you did not perpetuate the mistakes your own parents made.

You sound like an awesome Dad.

Time for an update, Raz.

How goes the responses? Masses of parents replying? Have your words of wisdom penetrated the four corners of the world and the message hit home?

Sitting on the mat, legs folded, lips zipped .

Pencil speeding along?

God Bless you, Raz!
So happy for the results in your family!