MK forum

Here is my response to Tibby....I will be leaving out the offender's name or anything that can implicate him right now. I have such a "do the right thing" attitude. Until the Panama report comes out I can't make it public. Now most of you who know me know who my offender was anyway so you can fill in the blanks


Tibby,

I am a little taken back by your email and/or NTMs possible decision on what kind of therapy I seek and if I choose natural vs addictive prescription pills that do not repair only cover up.

With all do respect I have chosen a therapist and doctor in one. I am passed counseling and at a life or death situation. I was told I may die if I don't seek the help. I have to start with the things built up in my body from IBS and PTSD so I can live and then I will work with a therapist to receive trauma therapy. I am sorry but I have been dealing with the IBS for 30 years and the pain is unbearable. It is either marijuana or pain killers and neither one I support.

My children have a say in my treatment because they need me alive and well. I do like counseling and just completed two programs including dialect behavior therapy. I had blocked the memories of Panama and had parents that wanted me to block it. I endured nightmares for 30 years. Of him. How he told me I would never be God's child and I am making my whole family dirty.

I don't mind saying his name. I don't mind saying the year and time span. What I find odd is to be required to say month, day etc. Tibby I was 10!! Children of healthy upbringings cannot state months or dates of memories. Places yes. As I said my school records were destroyed or lost for the time period in Panama.

We were only there for six months. I believe he arrived in xxxxxxxxxxx. Since none of my belongings ever made it to Panama nor would NTM provide me with a barbie, a bike, a doll...anything. I was not allowed in the little dorm run by the Slaymakers as the Dad thought I was a harlot of sorts. His daughter wore prairie dresses. I wore shorts. I had only the clothes in my suitcase for plane.XXXXXXXXXXXXX is his name. My mother gave me his name after I did my interview. I have referred to him as "hairy man" for a lifetime. He used his very own daughter and an air conditioner to lure me into his bedroom. I was told I was special. But behind closed doors I needed to be fixed. He used a back machine to get me strapped in. The one that has your body go up and then down. He then fondled my breasts repeatedly. I developed early and had breast buds in Language School at 9 yrs old.
I have been having more nightmares lately regarding him and possible hands down my shorts. I DO NOT accuse until I have 100 percent memory recall. I am not in this to get some kind of spoiled mad MK revenge. I am doing this to save my life Tibby.

I am heart broken over what some few have done to the mission of a man that wanted to spread Gods word in other countries. Heart broken. xxxxxxxxxxxxx is not nice. He destroyed my spirit, my soul, my faith and my sexuality. I didn't deserve that. And all I am asking now is for NTM to do whatever it takes for me to live, heal and be a mother to my children. A childhood, innocence and health stolen from me at 10 yrs old. There is no amount of money or counseling that will ever get that back. Ever!

I am sorry if I am coming across angry or crass. I need this help now. And I am scared. Very scared.

Give us one of your 7 year old daughters, Tibby......................................how quickly their thoughts would change!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe it should be presented that way. I am on a mission today. Somehow my Mom saying "you never told us, what were we supposed to do" or this one "oh you are just allergic to gluten hon, that's why you have IBS" has made me MAD enough to look up great articles on health issues related to childhood sexual abuse/PTSD and IBS. Thinking Tibby needs some good Monday morning reading now NTM pay my medical bills or you will have law suit number 4 on your hands!

mk chame, where are the words to describe my pain for you? They are elusive. I am overwhelmed and mute.

Hear our cries, O Lord.

How long, how long must we wait?

We love you, mk chame.

You are no longer alone.

And came the end
Yes judgement day
And before Almighty
The missions stray

And God got out
The ledger book
And at each mission
He had a look

He said "I invested
In thee I gave
To reach the world
How did you behave?"

Those talents on thee
Richly bestowed
Now I want them back
With interest owed

And God looked
At lawyers fees
And hurt MKs
On their knees

He shook his head
And turned away
For such incompetence
There is a price to pay

Then He thundered
In righteous rage
As he looked at the ledger
Page after page

"You were given
So to others you could reach
But you squandered
And sucked like a religous leech"

"And the children suffered
With the talents given
Get out, get out
From My sight be driven"

Here is a section taken directly from the MK Safety Net site on Therapies for Individuals who have experienced childhood trauma. I have highlighted in bold the therapies I spent a month researching and setting up prior to contacting Tibby again. I had initially contacted her on the "how to" of payment. She was extremely cooperative at that contact point. I have emailed the entire article to Tibby along with the association of IBS and Childhood Sexual Trauma and how it can break down the body to shutting down if it goes untreated!!!

NTM LISTEN to me. I am NOT 10 anymore!

Trauma therapies include:
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
• Observed Experiential Integration (OEI)
• Thought-Field Therapy (TFT)
• Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
• Energy Diagnostics Treatment Method (EDxTM)
• Somatic Body Experiencing (SOMA)
• Visual/Kinetic Dissociation (VK/D)
• Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)
• Art and Movement Therapy; Hypnosis; and a variety of drug therapies.

As well, neuratherapy utilizing a variety of electronic equipment in various forms of biofeedback may be used by some specialized practitioners.
There are also adjunctive therapies done by homeopaths and naturopaths which can greatly assist in trauma work.
A therapist trained in trauma work will be able to explain many of these therapies to you, as well as deal with any concerns you may have. Most therapists are licensed either as clinical social workers, or psychologists or marriage and family counselors, and some psychiatrists specialize in working with trauma survivors of all ages. Their local registries will often have a list of those who have specialized training in dealing with trauma.
Jane Wakefield, R.Psych. BC #268,
ASTSS Certified Trauma Specialist.

Found out NTM has had the cost breakdown for test kit (levels of toxins and determination of organs at level of function and/or damage) and the supplements needed ASAP for me to be able to digest my food for a week. They will not respond to my emails nor will PII. I can't cry anymore. I want to scream. I can't, I am not allowed.

I wish I could just go get my babies and hold them. Hold them as if it were yester year full of slumber parties, ddancing on my coffee table, watching Nick at Nite, runny egg contests, summer days at the pool with silly jump competitions and hours and hours full of laughing. I can't hold them because I won't let go and they can't know of my sadness or my health issues.

I asked for God to take me for so long.....and now every second of the day I spend trying to stay alive and stress free so that I don't get worse.

I am so sorry to burden all of you. I walk around a zombie, treated as if I am an object and receive jesters of words masked to care.....if they only knew I hear hearts not words.
May the wrath of God come down on NTM. May his wrath show them their sins.