MK forum

"Shame says no matter how good I try to behave, I am still bad no matter what."

Yes, a GREAT description of the "shame" that I'm thinking of. That one does NOT come from God. It comes from the Deceiver, our Enemy.

That kind of shame is implanted deeply in the heart of a wounded child. And it stays woven into their image of themselves when they are adults.

I am bad. I am bad.

I reject that thinking!

I see it over and over in adults that I know and love. It breaks my heart when I see it, because out of it comes all sorts of unhealthy ways of coping, surviving, or numbing the pain of that deeply-rooted sense of shame.

rroym, you are making a LOT of sense to me, even without sleep!

The Holy Spirit *convicts* of sin.

To 'convict' means: to convince of error or sinfulness

I do not think being convinced of something has anything to do with feelings- such as shame. It is a deliberate thinking of knowing you are sinful or wrong. "Feeling shame" is often false, as we know. Stemming from the way we grew up, our experiences in life, our personalities and more.

I do not believe, either, that God uses 'shame' to convict us of sin or to bring us to Himself.

As the Bible verse and popular praise song says: "It's your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance..." (Please feel free to direct us to that scripture reference...). NOT "It's my feelings of shame, Lord, that lead me to repentance."

'Repent' means: to turn from sin

Again, to make a choice based on a deliberate action- not a feeling. Anything based in feelings, as we all know, soon dissolves.

So, I hate to say this but, I totally forget the point I was trying to make, but maybe someone else will tie it all together. For the record, I agree with Rob and the others- shame has no place in convicting of sin or otherwise.

Broken Angel still praying that God will heal you and give you peace and courage to continue on your journey.

"Shame says no matter how good I try to behave, I am still bad no matter what."


Wow, that is how I have always felt. It started in 2nd grade at boarding school!

I think that a lot of shame and guilt comes from not being able to forgive ourselves. God has forgiven us and cleansed us from all guilt and shame so why do I have such a hard time accepting that?

Broken Angel, I trust that you are still making progress on your healing journey. Praying for God to give you grace, peace. courage and endurance to overcome your fears.

I too hope Broken Angel is improving! Such a hard place to be in--knowing the how of getting better but just not able to get there from the depths of despair. I'm trying to stay off this website but the names have become familiar and so many of the battles explained are familiar and it's hard not jump online to read a confirming story (I'm not the only MK who feels that way!) or an uplifting post. Living in shame, afraid to break free, yet desperate to do so--all has been voiced here.

But as I read I have too many tears, too many memories of events that can't be explained or erased. I will try to stay off after this message because it is not helping my family to see me in tears, getting angry toward them because of what I feel inside. God has given me a new life and it's a beautiful one; I can't throw it away on reliving the past, but I've decided to see a counselor again to sort through the past--the good, the bad, the ugly. For this reason I'm thankful I did read here because these things have to be dealt with rather than stuffed away.

I feel ashamed that I'm not yet strong enough to help others by staying on this site and giving encouragement, but please everyone know I am praying, others who read but don't post are also praying. I thank everyone on here who responds to the cries of others, myself included. God has given you a ministry right here helping others. I'm not strong enough to hear all the sadness and not sink into depression myself. Someday I want to be strong enough. I do truly hope and pray the ones who can have justice will have it but that they will also find true healing in Christ. For those who can never see justice on earth I pray they will find rest and joy, yes even joy, in Christ.

MARS, I hope it's not too late for you to see this: we love you, pray for you, and support your need for some distance and quietness. Come back any time, but don't feel bad about your decision to take a break from the intensity here.