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MK forum • View topic - Reaching out

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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:58 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:31 pm 
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:)


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 6:32 pm 
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I think NTM should dip into that $1 million MK fund and fully sponsor any NTM MKs or parents who wish to attend. I also think that they should have some of the leadership there in an official capacity.


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:28 am 
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Calling Yunker!
Check you pm s.
Does anyone write to Yunker?


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 1:22 pm 
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Jerry B We really do not want any mission leadership that is going to just re victimize the MKs. If they have shown in the past that help for abused MKs is more important than keeping the bank account full or a good name for the mission they are more than welcome. But I would like to see evidence not just word now.

May I suggest NTM MKs find out who wants to go and put up a petition on this site and demand that funds are provided. Is there any place better for MKs to get together than at a conference for abused MKs run by a third party not NTM. I hope you could get hundreds of signatures.


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:07 pm 
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In NTM, many leaders are MKs.
Some were probably abused in various ways.
But they may be denying the past abuse and abusing others.
We know there are some.
So does MK SafetyNet sort all this out, Shary?


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:23 pm 
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A culture of abuse is somewhat like alcoholism and being an alcoholic. Until one sees the consequences of what is going on and decides to get proper help, the problem doesn't go away. Very few alcoholics can turn their lives around by themselves, they need to stop and reach out from the bottom then take the first few shakey steps.

Any organisation with a culture of abuse is in a similar situation, though a lot more complicated. The whole culture needs to be looked at and overhauled. Yes rules, regulations and guidelines are neccessary for the running of any successful organisation, but if it goes beyond that to a point of total control of mind, body and soul with retribution for non-compliance, then the environment is set up for abuse to take place and those who have their own vested interests to exploit the naive and vulnerable.

Just like living with an alcoholic, the consequences can be devastating. Families split and resources are spent trying to fix the problem or sorting out the consequences of the problem. The problem becomes intergenerational and often the behaviour is repeated in the next generation and the next.

And alas sometimes there comes a point of no return for an alcoholic, when even though they desperately want to change, have even stopped drinking, the damage is that great that they will die because of the toll it has taken on their body.
This also applies in the organisational situation, sometimes the consequences of the past are that bad, that all the repentence and policy changes are not enough to overcome the legacy of the past.
Who knows where that point is, or if it has been passed.

MKsafetyNet, Fanda Eagles e.t.c. are meeting places for victims to heal and share. Places to meet, cry, laugh and share. They may even ease the memories of the past, but rarely erase them.
The Abusers Anonymous Meeting is down the road and for it to be even the slightest bit successful, just like an alcoholic nothing happens until one turns up and takes a seat in the circle and looks deep within.


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 9:36 am 
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G.R.A.C.E. would be a wonderful addition to the MK 'get together'


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 10:13 am 
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Boz will be speaking.
It would be great to meet him if you can be there!


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 Post subject: Re: Reaching out
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 10:29 am 
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I did not mean that NTM leadership should be involved in agenda of the conference, but that they should be there to learn how to deal correctly with abuse and its victims.

As for NTM paying, I guess we just have to ask. Their answer will be telling.


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