MK forum

Or … you can remember that your consistent, persistent, and tireless collective outrage and unified voice is likely the victims’ only hope.

Put quotes around that…...

Another excellent RNS blog post by Boz Tchividjian.

Here is the sentence that caught my attention: "A grown man who was sexually abused as a child finds himself taken back to being a helpless child whenever faced with challenges where he feels helpless or exploited."

I have a growing sense of alarm as I observe the process of what NTM is calling "independent" investigations into child abuse that happened in previous decades in the mission.

I am very concerned that these so-called investigations could lead to MKs once again feeling helpless and exploited.

It appears that once an MK has given an account of their abuse in NTM to the investigators, they lose all control over what happens to that information. Dreamwords learned how tight the control is that NTM has over the report written by investigators (in this case, Pii). Here is what she posted two days ago (underlining added):

"I wrote back to Pii, and requested details of the abuse, as this was the first time I learned I was not his only victim. I'm familiar with the details of the GRACE report; surely I could expect the same thorough report from Pii. I was fine with not receiving the NAMES of the others victims, of course!!, but wanted to know more about the abuse they suffered, or at the very least, to receive a transcript of the conversation between Pii and the abuser and his wife.

Pii asked NTM if they could send me a detailed report. Pii replied back about two weeks later to let me know that NTM said no, I could not have the report."

The feeling of exploitation will come when an MK realizes they have been used by NTM to calm the questions and concerns of mission members and supporters. The mission can reassure everyone that they are taking care of things in a Godly way. After all, they have commissioned IHART to thoroughly investigate all abuse. So everything is under control.

I hope people will look behind the words and find out what is really going on. NTM is doing lip service to the idea that reports of childhood abuse should be investigated. But I am beginning to think they have already plotted a course for these investigations that will protect the mission rather than provide validation, vindication and healing for the survivors of the abuse.

Feeling helpless and exploited will take a survivor many steps backward. Reliving the nightmare, all over again.

Michael Reagan, son of President Ronald Reagan gets it. Because he's lived it.

How can we get others to understand this? How can we get NTM to understand that what they are calling investigations are absolutely unacceptable to us??!


http://boz.religionnews.com/2014/03/08/ ... ual-abuse/

Michael Reagan: a bearer of light amidst the darkness of child sexual abuse
Boz Tchividjian | Mar 8, 2014 |


“Michael Reagan here…”

Those were the first words of a short email I receive about a year ago from a person identifying himself as Michael Reagan, and who informed me that it was time for Christians to finally begin acknowledging the existence of child abuse. At first, I had no idea who this man was and why he was writing me. A short Google investigation later led me to discover that this email was from the son of my childhood hero, Ronald Reagan! That correspondence was the beginning of a dear friendship with a man that has deeply moved and inspired me in so many amazing ways.

As a child of two famous actors, Michael Reagan was not immune from the dark and destructive offense of child sexual abuse. As a young boy, Mike was sexually abused for over a year by a perpetrator who owned an exclusive after school care program and whose actions and threats shamed a little boy into silence for decades. As all sexual abuse survivors, my friend Mike has spent a lifetime processing this horrific offense as he walks along this long and difficult journey of healing. He has graciously taught me so much about an issue that I thought I knew so much about. Last week, I had the privilege of introducing Mike to students at Liberty University School of Law and then sat down and listened to him spend the next hour opening up his heart in such a raw and transparent way about this incredibly difficult and personal issue. Though what I heard cannot be adequately described in written words, I want to share just a snapshot of what this brave man taught me during that hour.

My friend Mike taught me that child sexual abuse shames survivors into silence. A shame fueled by one’s own confusion and pain. A shame fueled by a fear of what those around will think and say. A child who is taken to an isolated place and told to take off his clothes as the perpetrator takes pictures, and then later shown those pictures as the perpetrator says, “Wouldn’t you mother like a copy of this?”, will be shamed into silence. A boy who is being victimized by a male perpetrator and sits in church listening to a pastor preach that homosexuals are going to hell, will be shamed into silence. A teenage survivor of sexual abuse who is sent away to boarding school and finds himself wetting his bed each night due to the abuse trauma will be shamed into silently getting up early each morning to discreetly change his sheets before anyone else notices. An abuse survivor who finally gains enough courage to tell his stepmother only to have her initial response be concern about her own reputation, will be shamed into silence. The list could go on and on. Michael Reagan has helped me understand the destructive power of shame and that its source comes from perpetrators, loved ones, friends, and even inside our churches.

My friend Mike taught me that child sexual abuse picks apart the self-esteem of its victims and slowly destroys them along with causing immeasurable harm to those who love them most. A teenage boy sexually victimized as a child steals money from his father’s wallet and buys prostitutes in a desperate attempt to try and clear up any confusion about his sexual identity. An abuse victim convinced that he is worthless and unlovable spends decades sabotaging the relationship with his parents by acting out in anger and hatred towards them. A father abused as a child tears down his child in a desperate attempt to build up his own self-esteem. A grown man who was sexually abused as a child finds himself taken back to being a helpless child whenever faced with challenges where he feels helpless or exploited. This list could go on and on. Michael Reagan has helped me grasp that putting the pieces of self-esteem back together is a difficult and painstaking part of the abuse survivor’s lifelong journey.

Perhaps most importantly, my friend Mike taught me that there is authentic hope for the many who have suffered from the ravages of this horrific offense. A hope illuminated by the amazing people who walk alongside the suffering and never leave. A hope illuminated by years of professional counseling. A hope illuminated each time light is borough to the dark places of the heart. A hope ultimately illuminated by a pursuing God who so clearly demonstrates that we are anything but worthless. My friend Mike is the first person to tell you that he has a long way to go on his journey and that there are undoubtedly many difficult days ahead. However, he will also tell you that he has made some progress and that he continues to press forward comforted by the realization that the God of hope will never let him go.

In his book, The Hammer of God, Bo Giertz writes, “The heart is a rusty old can on a junk heap. A fine birthday gift, indeed! But a wonderful Lord passes by, and has mercy on the wretched tin can, sticks his walking cane through it and rescues it from the junk pile and takes it home with Him. That is how it is.” After years of walking in shame and battling against self-esteem, God has carried my friend Mike to a place that he finally realizes that he is no rusty tin can, but a rescued and beautiful child of God.

Though Ronald Reagan was a childhood hero, I can say with great joy and confidence that Michael Regan is one of my life heroes. At great cost, he is taking a deeply painful life and is allowing it to be transformed into something beautiful as he provides a voice to the voiceless and courage to the scores of survivors who are drowning in shame and fear. Michael Reagan is not alone. There are untold numbers of Michael Reagans out there who are serving, loving and walking alongside hurting souls without attention or fanfare, but simply because they care. They look a lot like Jesus.

“Mike Reagan here…” I am so grateful that you are.

Another great blog post by Boz on RNS. It is so helpful to have someone like him clarify things that we are actually experiencing in our efforts to raise awareness about past incidents of child abuse in NTM.

http://boz.religionnews.com/2014/03/20/ ... survivors/

The title is:

Marginalizing the abused: Six ways that treat survivors as insignificant

Anyone feel marginalized lately????

She's not walking with The Lord.
She's with that mission.
She's on those anti-depressant pills, you know.

Boz helps us out again . . .with hope

http://boz.religionnews.com/2014/04/18/ ... ngs-jesus/

This week I have found myself moved by how the sufferings of Jesus are tragically similar to the sufferings of so many who have been abused. These similarities are no coincidence and for some reason they have been a source of comfort to me during this important week in the Christian faith. Perhaps, you may find some comfort as well.

Failed promises: Survivors are frequently promised support from those who never follow through. In fact, it is often those same people who end up asking the hurting survivor, “Can’t you just move on?” Just hours before he denies even knowing Jesus, Peter promises Jesus, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” Jesus understands.


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Good Friday – photo courtesy of Victor Nuno via Flickr (Image source)
Betrayed: Over 90% of victims are abused by someone they know and trust. Someone who has spent a lot time with the victim and shared many life experiences. Someone who nobody expects would betray and abuse. Judas spent three years with Jesus and had shared some amazing moments with him and the other disciples. Nobody expected Judas to betray Jesus. Jesus understands.

Abandoned: Survivors are often abandoned when those they hope will walk alongside them fall asleep or flee. This leaves them alone and all too often in the hands of those who will inflict more pain. On the night that he was betrayed, Jesus asked three of his closest disciples to come with him to pray. Instead of praying, they fell asleep. When Jesus needed them most, they were focused on themselves. If that wasn’t bad enough, a few hours later they ran away from Jesus when Judas arrived with the soldiers. Jesus understands.

Abused and mocked by the Church: I have encountered too many survivors who have been dehumanized by a Church that mocks them and demands their silence. After being arrested, Jesus was immediately taken before Caiaphas the high priest. In the place where one might hope that the Son of God would be loved and served, Jesus was mocked, slapped, spit upon and silenced. Jesus understands.

Denied: Survivors often discover that family and friends are often the ones who refuse to believe them and all too often walk away not wanting much to do with them. One of the darkest moments of Scripture is when Simon Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. The same man who lived with Jesus, fought for Jesus, and promised Jesus he would never leave, actually cussed out the person who dared associate him with Jesus. Jesus understands.

Injustice: As a prosecutor, I encountered too many cases where hurting individuals never found justice in a system that fraught with failure. I know a survivor who years after the abuse finally found enough strength to report the perpetrator to the police. She was recently informed that this offender would not be prosecuted. This is no different than two thousand years ago. Is there any question that the justice system failed Jesus? An innocent man was sentenced to death by a governor who had no concern for justice. Jesus understands.

Offender embraced and the innocent sacrificed: Time and time again individuals who have been accused of abuse or covering it up are supported and embraced, while the lives and souls of their victims are sacrificed. This is no different than when the crowds welcomed and embraced the release of a “notorious prisoner” named Barabbas in exchange for the sacrifice of the innocent Son of God. How many Barabbas’s has the Church welcomed and embraced in exchange for the sacrifice of innocent souls. Jesus understands.


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The Crosses on Good Friday – photo courtesy of Jason St. Peter via Flickr (Image source)
Suffering in the darkness: I mentioned in my last post that there are so many trapped in the dark places of the Church. These survivors have been ignored and discarded by a Church focused so much on itself that it fails to recognize and love them. They are left alone in this darkness to die. As Jesus hung on the tree, a thick darkness covered the land until his death. Here was Jesus dying alone in the dark, ignored by a world so fixated upon itself that it failed to recognize and love the Son of God. Jesus understands.

Jesus walked the dark road of abandonment, isolation, and deep suffering. He understands. He grieves. He cares. He took this upon Himself fueled by an indescribable love. A love that breathes new life into hearts that have been sacrificed and discarded by the darkness. A love that brings freedom. A love that never fails even when nothing makes sense. As I write this, I weep thinking about all those who feel so lost and alone on a dark road that seems to have no end. You are an amazing soul and are not alone.

You are loved and cherished by the One who will never make you an empty promise.
You are loved and cherished by the One who will never betray you.
You are loved and cherished by the One who will never abandon you.
You are loved and cherished by the One who will never abuse or mock you.
You are loved and cherished by the One who will never deny you.
You are loved and cherished by the One who will never be unjust.
You are loved and cherished by the One who will never sacrifice you.
You are loved and cherished by the One who will never leave you alone in the darkness.
You are loved and cherished by Jesus who will never let you go.

Good Friday is a difficult but beautiful reminder that new life and hope are on the way.

We've been waiting for this article to come out--it finally did!

http://prospect.org/article/next-christ ... se-scandal

Bravo!
Very, very well done.
Very detailed.
May light shine in the darkness!

That's a good read. Especially the insight into BJU and it's history. I was staggered to read that the ban on interracial relationships was not abolished until 2000, unbelievable, how on earth did that get justified from a Bible that teaches love one another? That also explains some of the whacky racial theology that was being propagated at Numonohi when I was there.
Also found the explanation of the difference between Evangelicals and Fundamentalists helpful. Suppose I would lean to the former, making me an Evangelical Sympathetic Agnostic .
Nice sub article by someone who looks very familiar .

VERY!