MK forum

Coal???nil comprende . Is the some strange nordic custom?

Oh my. You Downunder children ARE deprived of the scary Christmas legends, aren't you!

"Since the 20th century, in an idea popularized by the 1934 song "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", Santa Claus has been believed to make a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior ("naughty" or "nice") and to deliver presents, including toys, and candy to all of the well-behaved children in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve. He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the flying reindeer who pull his sleigh."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

As I think about my own earlier comment that those who have been bad should be getting coal from Santa, I also thought about this possibility: missionaries who have been very bad deserve more than coal ... what they deserve is GAOL.

Gah!

What! this is the year 2013, we have computers. Therefore I have made a deal with Santa and he has contracted "Bemused's Christmas Service" to update and modernize the "naughty and nice" system.
All citizens will have their name in the one book" computer system as all are created equal. Then those who have not been nice will have their names deleted.
See simple isn't it. And guess who is in charge of "Deletions" ? Me

So let's make a start shall we.

Nurses, not many deletions.
Doctors, just a few deletions.
Pilots, only a couple of deletions.
Politicians, Used Car Salespersons and such, a few deletions there.
Missionaries, oh dear, oh dear . . .

Haha! Yes, I am sure several of us were on more than a few coal lists this year.

But none of the coal made it to my house ... thanks for loop de looping that sleigh, you mischievous Kiwi Eagle!

We don't observe Boxing Day here, but by the date, it is Boxing Day.

I can think of some people who deserve a boxing.

Thai boxing of course. Muay Thai. After all, I am a Thai MK.

That's because all that coal destined for you ended up on my driveway! I've been shoveling it all night, oh well at least I won't be cold this winter with my load of coal .

And Happy Boxing Day. The day when most Downunders go on holiday, so the roads are packed with people with lots of boxes in their vehicles, traveling to little boxes (made of tickey tackey), where they consume numerous boxes of alcohol and to often end up in boxes because of the way they drive after consuming the aforementioned. This rolls on into January when we all start rolling back to work after about two weeks off or even at the beginning of February when the kids go back to school.
Of course there are those who don't go on holiday and keep the nation ticking over, like nurses, firefighters or policeofficers, but who would want to be one of them?

Somehow the image of a purple robed granny with tarnished but polished halo, doing Thai Kick Boxing is playing with my foggy mind. I have this image of a dentureless Miss Piggy (slim version of course), inflicting her skills on the unsuspecting . . .

And on thit nut eye wash three a hippie Boxing Day.

Now I have that image too, Bemused! And it's hilarious!

Thank you!

And of course I forgot to mention that modern boxing day tradition of going shopping. It is one of the busiest days of the shopping year. Downunders line up with their vouchers to buy bargains and with their presents they don't want, trying to cash them in. A disgusting habit in my humble opinion. But then of course my humble opinion is tainted by having presents returned to me with "I have no use for this" on a regular basis

And so we move on to New Year and all those New Year Resolutions:

Bemused will get fitter.
Bemused will eat less
Bemused will be nice to . . . .

Oh well good intentions.

Behold tis New Years Eve
And soon the year will be gone
Another will be started
And we will journey on an on

2013 was a good year
The hound still thinks I'm boss
Mrs Bemused still loves me
So in loneliness I do not toss

The elephant has checked out
Trumpets from afar
And rumours on the grapevine say
Others are wearing feather and matching tar

So to 2014
May it be as good or better
See you next year
Here, on line or letter