MK forum

Now Paul, you're not allowed to throw toys out of the cot, only male balding MKs from Downunder are allowed to do that!

O.k. if you find Serpent of the Lord, Crossview Croc or Elephant in the room lurking in your cot, fair enough turf them out and aim them downwind, but not Downunder!

Anyway a bit of useful advise. Have a break for a while if you need it, pop back when you feel refreshed and of course to update us on progress as you bring enlightenment to those who haven't quite worked out what a mess child abuse makes, in the corners that are difficult for those not so close to the inner sanctums to reach . . .

I'll add another angle into this discussion.

The experience of MKs is entirely different from their parents for one very important and significant factor: the parents chose this lifestyle, with at least a little knowledge of what that would entail, but the MKs had no choice in their life.

Parents (with few exceptions, like Raz who has been both) cannot truly and completely relate to the MK experience.

We definitely know that.
But we empathize and try to learn all we can.
And are open to any discussions our kids want to bring up.
While we sit there and LISTEN.
We have told them we would do it differently now.
(But we can't.)
We have shed tears--many.
Any other parents with us?

There is a different angst in being parents of MKs.
Definitely different.
We want to help all we can now.

Yes, there is definitely an angst in being the parent of MKs who have been negatively impacted by choices I made as a missionary mother. Choices I cannot go back and undo.

MK angst.

Parent-of-MK angst.

I've got angst in stereo.

Sheesh!!

yup, some of us qualify for both

MK
parents of MKs

that includes me and our decisions

Let me clarify; I did not mean that as any sort of condemnation of MK parents. I know that many are trying to right the wrongs of the past.

It's more like looking at something from above the water versus below (and vice versa).

Today I am deeply touched by a quote shared on Facebook, from Elizabeth Gilbert:

"FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE YOU LEARNED IT."

Perhaps this gets to the heart of the struggle many missionary parents have, with the dissonance between the sacrifices they made for a very noble cause, and the high price paid by their own children for the choices they, the parents made.

It is terrifying to wrestle with a past you can't change, the soul-tearing regrets you feel, the significant results of your ministry, and the deep pain that has altered the entire course of your child's life.

Can we forgive ourselves, parents?

Perhaps if we could do this, then maybe we could reach out toward our beloved children with open hearts, and begin to mend those broken bridges with our own tears.