As many of us well informed international travellers know, tipping is not part of the Australasian culture. I was reading an article about a major cruise company, who don't add tips to the bills of Kiwis and Aussies, because it causes so much backlash.
Which got me to thinking what it would be like at conference
Twas the end of the conference
The final banquet drew to close
Each pondered what they'd tip
And here the differences arose
The Americans opened their wallets
And gladly produced wads of cash
Put it on the table
In a tidy little stash
The Canadians and British
Who's currency was doing just o.k.
Put down a lesser amount
But were generous in their pay
Then spoke up the lone Kiwi
"Mr waiter, I wanna drink for the road
Make it a double scotch
For I carry a very heavy load"
The waiter came out with a triple
Polished the boats of the Kiwi MK
Praised the exquisite accent
And said "Have a nice day"
Then the Kiwi asked for their bill
Which came to exactly $4.99
And the Kiwi said, "keep the change"
As they handed over cash divine
And the waiter took the $5 note
Wondering what sort of MK this could be
And how with such a MKs mite
They'd feed their family
