MK forum

A question worth pondering. Most certainly.

Ask dbarney for clarification.
It's better than it sounds.

It's not what you would think……
dbarney can you help us here?

I hope it happens with ALL the ihart investigations.
It's the only fair way.
The public needs to know the truth.

Many of my friends and acquaintances have no idea that I lived overseas. It takes a while for me to tell them. Then longer to talk about problems related to that. A missionary is a bizarre concept. Boarding school totally out of the realm. Abuse--now there's a common thread.

I'm wondering if we are going about it ass-backwards. What if we were to become advocates for exploited children in a general way. Naturally, as a core group, we would be very concerned about the institutions that have been associated with us, and getting justice for fellow alumni. So, a broad mission, with tight preliminary goals.

Any fund-raising, education, media, could be presented first with understandable concepts . . .easy sounding names with no acronyms, and relatable content. Then, specializing as people get more familiar with the issues.

I find comfort in knowing other MKs. But I'm not known as an MK except to a handful of people. I totally dig making friends in every corridor and alley in my city. The MK moniker is meaningless to them. I've gone to great lengths to become a real, relatable neighbor, friend, co-worker. I would love to bridge both worlds. To talk about it, but only as it is relevant to them. To talk about it in great detail with those who can listen to details.

I relate to much of what you say, Allbetter. I have been out of the mission world, holding a fulltime job in a secular workplace, for over a dozen years now. I enjoy being a friend to people who swear unapologetically, don't go to church, and live with partners they are not married to. Once in a while I mention my exotic background, but have learned to avoid the word "missionary" because it elicits jokes about sexual positions. (Not that I'm above making jokes about sex. Because I'm not. I was raised in a tribe, after all. )

It puzzles me how uncomfortable people are with the topic of child exploitation in general. I can quickly get 80+ "likes" for a photo of a sunset or a grandkid's birthday party on Facebook, but on the rare occasion that I post something about child abuse, I can count on one hand the people who will respond in any way at all. And they are always the same people.

I look around at my mostly female co-workers at the hospital and think about the likelihood that a significant percentage of them were abused as children. And yet even the ones who show evidence of such abuse do not speak of their past, nor do they reveal much empathy for patients or others whose behavior or health problems signal a likely childhood woundedness.

It would appear that in or out of the mission world, there are only a few people who can (or want) to handle the tough subjects we discuss here. Which of course is a glaring reason child abuse is not responded to in helpful ways. This is why young victims who try to ask for help are quickly shushed. And why adults who are acting out from a place of deep pain are judged and rejected. The cycle repeats itself over and over. Dear God, the Evil One sure has this all mapped out and sewed up, doesn't he.

My own circle of acquaintances has broadened since the MK Safety Net conference last year. I now interact regularly with abuse survivors not only from NTM environments but from other mission and fundamentalist backgrounds. Sometimes I think I might drown in the sea of sadness and tragedy which gushes out from my computer screen. The thought of broadening or generalizing further than I already have is a very daunting challenge for me. But I am pondering your post. I hope others will weigh in on this as well.

With you there Raz! It's not that the scope isn't big enough. It certainly is. G.R.A.C.E. has their hands full. I also like the Royal Commission thing, addressing "institutional" response. But it confuses me when we put "public" "publicity" into our conversations here. The public around me is trying to survive to the next paycheck. I would like to be present enough in my own world, that if a child on my street was being abused, there's a possibility I could find out and help. So healing the past to help the present. . .

Just musing . . .

" I totally dig making friends in every corridor and alley in my city. The MK moniker is meaningless to them. I've gone to great lengths to become a real, relatable neighbor, friend, co-worker. I would love to bridge both worlds. To talk about it, but only as it is relevant to them. To talk about it in great detail with those who can listen to details….." Allbetter

This is real-life relating-----applause for you and Raz and others who value people.
Thanks for being "REAL" and for making a difference.
Because I know you are.

I hope so, MB! This is a hard journey, delving into the past. 3 years ago my therapist had me write my life story in the first person. I wrote and wrote about everything until the day we landed in Brazil, when i was ten. It was too much, too big, to write about.

Anyway, for the first time, yesterday, i had the thought that maybe, just maybe, i could continue that.

The ever servile MK part of me wants to NOT do that, or cont. writing on here because it seems self-serving. I'm totally hoping that you all will be open enough to tell me if im totally off base.