Penalty Shoot Out, FE Cup - (I'm posting this for a couple soccer fans who love the humor in this game)
And it's the FE Cup Final here and we are down to the last two kicks of the penalty shoot out. At the one end of the field, the Tribers, who don't think penalties should apply in any game, have already taken five lazy shots at the Eagles’ keeper, who easily saved them. Down at the other end of the field, however, Rude Barren has been in pit pot shap, diving all over the place to protect the Tribers’ goal. He has brazilliantly dyslected four well-struck penalty kicks from the Eagles, and one he didn’t even have to strat his eginnes for – the Eagles’ fifth kicker, Bemused, after playing at silly mid off most of the game, struck the ball wildly and completely missed the goal – the Tribers’ fans cheered; and from her vantage point in the bar, Raz muttered something about him sticking with his parodies.
So it has come down to this folks. One more shot each. Looks like the Eagles’ keeper is getting ready down this end, and Rid Boloney is getting revved up down the other end to face the final strike. (Spam anyone?)
The crowd is hushed; you could hear a chainsaw drop. Wait, who is this stepping up to take the final kick for the Tribers? The final chance to settle this thing? Who is it? Yes, it seems to be the last minute mystery substitute that came on for Andy just before the end of O.T. None of us recognized him, but he is obviously a Triber from his lily white uniform and twinkle toes. Here he is now, sauntering into the penalty area, waving to the crowd. Who is this OT mystery substitute and why do the Eagles’ fans seem to be joining in the excitement? This is Insane.
The ref calls for silence and blows his whistle. The OT mystery substitute begins his run up. What, he misses the ball! No, he’s spinning around… and around… and around… he finally strikes the ball with a vengeance and there it goes like lightning toward the Eagles’ goal… Crash! It hits the crossbar and now it is rocketing toward the other end of the field, where Rad Boring is sfarting to get ready… This is incredible folks, the ball has just sailed past the stunned Tribers’ keeper into the back of the net! The crowd goes absolutely wild. The ref blows his whistle for a goal. It’s all over. The Eagles’ fans swarm the field and the OT mystery substitute is hoisted into the air and carried off to the bar to celebrate. Only in the bar, is the mystery revealed: ripping off his lily white shirt exposes the tattoo of a falcon, and the body of a futbolista brasileño, the Brazilian legend Pelé. Now it all makes sense. Very clever. A true hero has emerged, but no matter how famous he is, or what his real name is, we will always know him as OT, the mystery substitute.
Common Tater.
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