1. Playing the ball (the issue) is fine, tackling another player who doesn't have the ball is not.
2. No chainsaws allowed!
3. It is not polite to call the opposition rude names and certainly not members of the same team.
3a. If the opposition commits a foul, by all means point it out, explain why it is a foul and offer a suggestion how long you think the sin bin should be used. Do not break rule 3) in the process.
3b. Fouls will be dealt with.
4. You can play in any position you like, just remember to share the ball.
4a. Try not to play the same position as another player.
5. Some of your team mates have played their warm up games in very different circumstances, a bit of understanding will go down very well.
5a. Each player has unique skills. Use them to the greatest advantage of the team.
6. Invite other MKs to play, it is good manners and they might even bring new skills to the game.
6a. Old Players will be respected.
7. Sometimes an opposition player might want to explain their version of the rules, this is fine, just use common sense and keep an eye on the situation.
8. Sometimes the game gets serious, it is no dishonour to pop into the bar for a bit of refreshment, burning out is not recommended.
8a. The bar also serves orange juices and a lovely arrangement of drinks from all over the world, feel free to sample them.
9. If you need to use the Sin Bin, be warned it is pretty full at times.
10. Don't abuse the ref. or linespersons.
11. Keep your eye on the goal and on the ball.
12. You may sit quietly on the sidelines and watch.
13. No comments from the Peanut Gallery.
13a. Those with Peanut Allergies may move to the "Nut Farm".
14. Goals may be applauded.
15. Players wishing to play for both sides at the same time, are welcome to do so, however it is recommended they have a large flag in their right hand at all times and they are aware that members of either side may be a little suspicious of their loyalties.
16. The offside rule does apply, so any eager Eagles or tense Tribers who think they are past the defenses of the other team – beware; if you get the ball in that position, you will gift it to the other team as a free kick because you are offside. (The “attacker” who is so far ahead and ready to “stick it” to the other team, (but without the ball), is not really with the team and will be caught offside).
17. Any team player may communicate with any other team player in any language they feel comfortable with, however an interpreter would be appreciated. Any member of the opposite team speaking in tongues, will be deemed "a miracle".
18. No dangerous play, i.e. actions which will cause harm to the players or the game. This could include things like accusing an opponent of a flagrant foul without a personal supporting story.
19. There is no team uniform, please feel free to express your individuality in any style you feel comfortable.
19a. Cheerleading is not a sport/activity familiar to Downunder players, therefore please be tolerant of their ignorance of this activity.
19b. Loud comments about the other teams pristine white, exactly the same uniforms, should be respectful, if not complimentary.
20. In the event of a medical emergency, please wave your hand and someone in scrubs will attend to you ASAP.
20b. Treatment will be available free of charge, a thank you will be sufficient.
20c. Because of rule 2) there should be no self inflicted chainsaw injuries!
20d. A basic idea of first aid is recommended for all players.
20e. Drug and alcohol testing will not be carried out, some tolerance and kindness is appropriate on this issue, also given the length of the game, analgesia use can be expected.
21. Players retiring from the game, will be invited to play in the Big Soccer Game just beyond the Pearly Gates. It will be a friendly game, with The Angels.
21b. There is no hurry to retire from the game, in order to get on to the "Heavenly Fanda Squad", there will be room for all, and the game will go on forever
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), so pop me out on the wing where I can trip over my own feet. 