My Dear Raz,
Wonder if you might just check your hospital scrubs when you have a moment. Mine seem to be a little tight and considerbably cleaner than my ususal pair and I wonder if accidentally you have mine on? Mine have have quite a bit of mud stains on them and a little label that says "Sin Binned Recently".
I wonder if there is a correlation between wearing medical scrubs and having such a high tally of kicks of the ball, for my allocation is high also. We could award ourselves Most Valuable Players Status, which of course could well pertain to thyself, however the rest of the team probably deserves a medal for actually having to watch my kicking of the ball in all sorts of directions.
I don't think one needs to understand the technicalities of the game of soccer to appreciated the rules, for what I've read so far the rules are not bad guidelines for day to day living as well as being applicable to this diverse team.
As for admiring the physique of other members of the team; I have come of late to delude myself that as I approach half a century that I am not in to bad a shape. This is because when I ride my bike, I am often photographed, appeared in magazines, have beautiful cyclists wanting to talk to me and become an internet sensation. But then Leo (the Lakeland Terrier who rides on the back of the bike) bursts my ego bubble, by reminding me that this only happens when he is on the back and when I get home and look into the mirror to admire my physique, I see much of it has slipped south and Leo is standing behind me laughing

. I don't think there needs to be a rule, regarding this matter.